tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76270003961295940902024-02-07T20:05:27.765-08:00Plan BOur Plan A didn't work out,now we have to move on to Plan B.Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-11728378847798671442017-11-22T19:00:00.004-08:002017-11-22T19:00:58.880-08:00I Want My Yellow Onion, I Want What’s Fair<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b><u>Warning: This post contains This Is Us spoilers</u></b></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-11269b20-e6d0-7274-b8a5-d68913c45b53" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last night I tuned into This Is Us where I proceeded to bawl my eyes out as we watched Kate go through something that 1 in 4 women go through- a miscarriage (HopeExchange.com). At the end of the previous week we were given a glimpse of what this week’s episode would be about. I thought that I was mentally prepared to watch this episode, but boy was I wrong. This episode was more emotional than I had prepared myself for. The whole show hit home from the first few minutes when the ER doctor told Kate that although she should expect bleeding, there was no reason why she couldn’t go back to living her life, and that the good news was that since they were able to get pregnant once, that they could try again in four weeks. So many of us experience comments like these during some of the hardest days of our lives. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we first learned about Kate’s pregnancy, she was scared to be excited about it because she was afraid that it wasn’t really going to happen. But then we watched as she did get excited about her baby. She was doing everything right, but in the end, she still lost her baby. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> One of the most emotional moments of the episode for me was when Rebecca opened up about her own loss with Kate. Kate and Rebecca haven't always had the best relationship, but they are now part of the same club which is a club that no woman wants to be part of. Although their losses were different, it didn't matter. When Kate questioned how she could be this sad even though she hadn’t even met her baby or even knew if it was a boy or a girl. Rebecca didn’t try to compare their losses, but instead she told her that she understood because she had never held Kyle. When you lose a baby, whether it is an early loss, a late loss, or a stillbirth, you still lose a baby. You are losing all of the hopes and dreams that you had for that baby. Rebecca told Kate about a time in the grocery store when the babies were still very little and her loss was still very raw. She had been holding her grief in, but that day it all came out. As I watched this part of the episode I related to it so deeply it that it hurt. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the store Rebecca was breaking down over a bag of yellow onions. When she turned her back for a moment, they were taken by someone else. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I want my yellow onion”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I want what I came for, I want my yellow onion”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It's not fair that I have to sit here and go without my yellow onion” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I've been planning this dish for a whole week”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Those are just a few of the quotes from Rebecca at the store, but if you replace the word baby with yellow onion, you see quotes that run through every loss mom's head at some point.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want my baby</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want what I came for, I want my baby</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It's not fair that I have to go without my baby</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I've been planning his life since I found out I was pregnant </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So far, This Is Us has done a wonderful job at accurately depicting the pain of child loss. I might have bawled my way through this episode,but I was satisfied with the way in which they portrayed this devastating event. It is my hope that they continue to tackle this difficult subject that personally touches so many.</span></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-1592912025830587222017-10-15T18:21:00.002-07:002017-10-15T18:23:35.047-07:00Dear Birthday Princesses<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today we celebrated two very special birthdays! Delphine turning 5 and Alice Ruth turning 1! We are so very blessed with these two little miracles, and our hearts are so full! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPIxvr36N6wr2OZ2iL8otcmYjKZTfA-sTlDqlhDo9pglXaevd3ssLKEWA8nD7TxNPlidpuIvSlWzDpXXcoL-KQqt_FwzePQ6p6wHodim_Q2GF7pbOAYuFvGr3WXkexz6d2kl9XzF8wwcW/s1600/bothbday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #818181; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration-line: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="799" data-original-width="1600" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIPIxvr36N6wr2OZ2iL8otcmYjKZTfA-sTlDqlhDo9pglXaevd3ssLKEWA8nD7TxNPlidpuIvSlWzDpXXcoL-KQqt_FwzePQ6p6wHodim_Q2GF7pbOAYuFvGr3WXkexz6d2kl9XzF8wwcW/s320/bothbday.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 1px solid rgb(235, 235, 235); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 5px; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear Delphine, </span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-b6cae787-22b5-0f8a-7ff3-0fe0b3b6b847" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can’t believe that you are already 5 years old.The years are truly flying by. It seems like just yesterday you were born extremely early at 1 pound, 12 ounces. There were so many unknowns on the day you were born, but if I had known then what I know now, I would have not have cried as many tears or lost nearly as much sleep as I did worrying about you and your future. You are bright, beautiful, spunky, bossy, full of energy, smart, inquisitive,funny, perfect, and you have so much love in your heart.</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You are a Mimi’s and Papa’s girl for sure. You love to be in the kitchen with Mimi and run errands with her. Papa makes time to play with you every single night after dinner without fail- which I am certain is your favorite time of the day! You had a wonderful start to the year 2017 as Aunt Jessica joined our family! Your Uncle Bobo and Aunt Jessica got married and they chose you to be their flower girl! You did an amazing job! </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The highlight of your year was most certainly our trip to Disney World! You enjoyed every single minute of our week there. Your favorites: the princesses, the rides, and the food! You love to be outside running, swinging, sliding, and playing in the sand and your Molly-doodle is always at your side! You have such a love for books, and it makes my heart so happy! You will just sit and listen to as many books as we will read to you! You love to shop, especially at Target! Your favorite toys are Barbies, Shopkins, puzzles, My Little Ponies, and kitchen stuff. Your favorite doll is Baby Molly (Bitty Baby) and you love to carry her everywhere we go! </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">You amaze us everyday with your imagination! You don’t have imaginary friends, you have 4 imaginary “children” that go with us everywhere- even to Disney World! At our layover in Minneapolis, we had to stop in the middle of the airport and wait for your “children” as you were becoming hysterical that they were unable to keep up with us and falling too far behind! </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">You are in homeschool preschool this year and we do school together 3 mornings a week. You love school and are doing really well at it! Last year right around your birthday you announced that you wanted to be called your “real” name- Delphine! Although it was a difficult switch for us all to make, I love that you want to be called Delphine because as I look at you I can see and feel the strength and connection between you and your namesake. This past year has been quite the adjustment, as you still have so many obstacles that we are trying to overcome due to your extremely premature birth. I know that you don’t understand why you have to make your eyes work together and why you have a “cutie mark” on your chest or why it is so important that you don’t get sick. I know you can’t possibly comprehend at this point in your life what chronic lung disease is or means- although you try! I know you get frustrated when we have to work on the correct way to pronounce letters and words and I know it is truly hard for you. However, even with all of these obstacles that this year has brought, you have continued to flourish. You have accomplished so much this year! You now say your “f” sound correctly, something we had to work on day after day, week after week, month after month for over a year. You also mastered the left- right-left-right pattern- which was an obstacle for you from the ROP you had as a baby. Once you could cross over and do the left, right, left, you were finally able to ride a bike! You might not always like having to do “eye games” and it might take bribery, but we are trucking through, and I am so very proud of you. I look at you and know how incredibly lucky we are that you are here with us, and that the obstacles you are facing could be so much worse. My beautiful and perfect Delphine, we are truly blessed beyond measure with how healthy you are! You are our beautiful little miracle! You have had so many prayer warriors praying for you since the day you were born, and you are so very loved!</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love you so much! Happy Birthday Princess!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidV13gIbEJP3M2hqj6hILKZHN6Pf0OoJFq1FDE6PfiFb2A6Ed2C2vU_RwxuumOI7HiABmsg9T5ZpAfLa69-WO1r9b383Jr9ovYUpnZJxX6LqDs5SGDXroWveuoMLhqY7oWd-z9fut0H99n/s1600/delphineis5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #818181; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration-line: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="799" data-original-width="1600" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidV13gIbEJP3M2hqj6hILKZHN6Pf0OoJFq1FDE6PfiFb2A6Ed2C2vU_RwxuumOI7HiABmsg9T5ZpAfLa69-WO1r9b383Jr9ovYUpnZJxX6LqDs5SGDXroWveuoMLhqY7oWd-z9fut0H99n/s320/delphineis5.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 1px solid rgb(235, 235, 235); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 5px; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;" />
<div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><br /></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear Alice Ruth, </span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can’t believe it has been a whole year since you were born. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I always thought that after Delphine, that you were going to be my “laid back child”, but you have proved me wrong! We should have known you would be high maintenance when you crashed your sister’s birthday! When you were born, we called you our “big baby” because you weighed a whole 5 pounds! Compared to your older brother and sister, who were each born at just over a pound, you really were a big baby to us! We now call you our little teapot because you are short and stout! </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You are a mama’s girl through and through, and although at times (like when I desperately just want a long, hot shower) it can be frustrating, I will admit that I love that you are such a mama’s girl. You and your sister have such a special bond, and it just seems to be getting stronger as you get older. Your little face lights up as soon as your sister walks into the room. You seem to love everything about her….right down to her big girl, choking hazard toys! You bring so much joy to our lives, even when you are crabby (which honestly, is a lot of the time). You are so full of love and slobbery kisses!You are a sweet little nursing baby and I will forever treasure the time we spend together while you nurse. You are a lover of food and your favorite foods are: chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, and donuts! You are our child who truly hates sleep! If you nap it is a power nap and you are always up at the crack of dawn! Although 4 am is pretty early for me, I enjoy our alone time each morning. We sit in “baby jail” together and play toys. You love Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse and because our household is all about Moana, you love Moana, the movie and the music! It is the cutest thing to see you dance when the music starts to play! You love to sing Pat a Cake, the Itsy Bitsy Spider, and I’m a Little Teapot! Your favorite toys are the Fisher Price Princess castle, and babies (dolls). You absolutely love babies, and as we go down the toy aisles at Target and you see a baby you make sure to yell ba ba! You don’t ride in a stroller like your sister, you are what we call our Tula Baby! You love it and start to dance and bounce around when I pull out the Tula and we have a nice long walk at Target! No matter how tired I have been, I have loved every minute of our year together! You are adorable, perfect, strong willed and full of orneriness! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Happy Birthday to my sweet little girl! </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #ff28a7; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhp12BLxa62TGkTIKCKvqdWP0Z_v2BChWvmmSfVtBmymgc8jbNexi7ihrSgBaWTOMTI3vhle-4QwMvs3WsJdOxUxfjzTQDY_FYNfdGm580Ct6cFOEHUqA08pU3uSxkkUGXFrlvyxIT4s20/s1600/AliceRuthisOne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #818181; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration-line: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="799" data-original-width="1600" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhp12BLxa62TGkTIKCKvqdWP0Z_v2BChWvmmSfVtBmymgc8jbNexi7ihrSgBaWTOMTI3vhle-4QwMvs3WsJdOxUxfjzTQDY_FYNfdGm580Ct6cFOEHUqA08pU3uSxkkUGXFrlvyxIT4s20/s320/AliceRuthisOne.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 1px solid rgb(235, 235, 235); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 5px; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-46587158163620850522016-10-28T13:32:00.001-07:002016-10-28T13:32:21.830-07:00Welcome to the World Alice Ruth<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On Monday, October 10, I went in to my doctor’s office to have what I imagined would be my last sonogram of Alice Ruth since I had a scheduled c-section date of October 19th set. Based on previous sonograms, Alice Ruth should have been measuring well over the 5 pound mark by now. The sonogram measured her at 4 pounds 4 ounces, but my doctor was not concerned, which took away any anxiety I was feeling about her measurement.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> On Wednesday, October 12, I went back in for my last doctor appointment! All of the "lasts" were so very exciting to me since I have never made it to the "end" of a pregnancy before this pregnancy! At this appointment and much to our surprise, my blood pressure was elevated enough for concern, and there was protein in my urine. The doctor also had difficulty getting Alice Ruth’s heartbeat on the doppler (which was extremely scary for me), so they sent me in for a biophysical profile to check on Alice Ruth. She passed the 30 minute test within the first 10 minutes, so she was doing fine! They sent me home with a 24 hour collection to monitor the protein. At this point my doctor was still hopeful that I could make it through the weekend and hopefully to my scheduled date. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJVFLZ-9Z_x5Q-R1YLfcKsN4TfG6uZKiwlUuOrBM-GEIS9GFGjsd2SUXs3VlLOz3fBjzQPtxAmym0QzvpM6-8SaFNuYAlTdyoqmGzaqSPsOo3CC93oRzKn3YamXfGxwtxezQdE8iNolf9u/s1600/IMG_2141.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJVFLZ-9Z_x5Q-R1YLfcKsN4TfG6uZKiwlUuOrBM-GEIS9GFGjsd2SUXs3VlLOz3fBjzQPtxAmym0QzvpM6-8SaFNuYAlTdyoqmGzaqSPsOo3CC93oRzKn3YamXfGxwtxezQdE8iNolf9u/s320/IMG_2141.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On Thursday, October 13, I went back to the doctor's office for my very last p17 shot and to drop off the 24 hour collection to be sent to the lab. I was feeling pretty good, even with the turn of events. On Friday late afternoon, October 14, I received a call from the doctor's office saying that my 24 hour collection came back and that I needed to go immediately to labor and delivery. The test results came back with elevated protein, so they wanted me to get checked out by the hospital and then we would decide what to do next. My dad came home to watch Ellie....on her birthday eve, and my mom drove me into the hospital where I met up with Tanner, who was already there waiting for me. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The week of October 9th had been an option for a scheduled c-section, but we chose to push it on out to the following week with the hope that I would be home for Ellie's 4th birthday on the 15th. So, this is not what we were hoping for, but at the same time, how could we not be thankful to have made it so far in the pregnancy! And....we had Ellie's actual birthday party back in August since my pregnancy was so full of unknowns: there was really no way to know how long I would be pregnant and "just in case" we were in the middle of a NICU or hospital stay for her birthday. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They got me all checked in and hooked up to the monitors. After several hours of monitoring and a chat with the doctor on call for my doctor (my doctor was now out of town for the weekend), they decided to let me go home with the understanding that if I got a headache or had any change in vision, that I was to immediately come back. I was also told that if I was careful, there wasn't any reason why I couldn't take Ellie to Target to buy some toys for her birthday and then onto a restaurant for her birthday lunch. I was home just in time to tuck my 3 year old in for the last time before she turned 4 the next morning.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZq-zOwWJhpj5oP5BBpduYlwM3HHJk8QNgGpJprsieSTwEXFdQ73uPbmRoYG3CXTdqPdkhuSJsa58v8Gsvs5TKsyJWhXHmBRSUX8lj_dPsiBpP7U_c_pTGwTcscTs0_JkkhoJmPWpYra_5/s1600/IMG_2229.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZq-zOwWJhpj5oP5BBpduYlwM3HHJk8QNgGpJprsieSTwEXFdQ73uPbmRoYG3CXTdqPdkhuSJsa58v8Gsvs5TKsyJWhXHmBRSUX8lj_dPsiBpP7U_c_pTGwTcscTs0_JkkhoJmPWpYra_5/s200/IMG_2229.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Saturday morning, October 15, and my precious Ellie's birthday was a happy morning! Ellie was excited to have a shopping trip planned as well as lunch at a restaurant! Mi Mi , my mom, had also suggested that after lunch she could take Ellie into the party store for a bouquet of balloons....which Ellie was thrilled about! Our first stop was Target and we were there about 3 minutes when I had the overwhelming feeling that something was wrong. I was cramping and having back pain. We went and picked up a few toys for Ellie and checked out and we headed home. I took benadryl and tylenol and rested for a bit to see if the feeling would pass, but it did not. Off we went to the hospital for the second time in 2 days! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgiKGX9z4gAm2jJwxMA9UNe_HVGHwXDBonYB68kENdGRtA3ZwY60bA_-eEiVWTEoxqSf_T84m02O9DwGNHVOW4YubwpecFoEGy3Z8i60x3Bngzk2ba-x4gMO89UWrljBzLPZBeoL1V2rdT/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgiKGX9z4gAm2jJwxMA9UNe_HVGHwXDBonYB68kENdGRtA3ZwY60bA_-eEiVWTEoxqSf_T84m02O9DwGNHVOW4YubwpecFoEGy3Z8i60x3Bngzk2ba-x4gMO89UWrljBzLPZBeoL1V2rdT/s200/PicMonkey+Collage2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Once again, my dad took Ellie and assured us that she would have a big day and not to worry about her. I was checked into the hospital and hooked up to monitors...again! My blood pressure was not alarming at all but I was registering some minor contractions. Since I had surgery 2.5 years ago to have a permanent cerclage placed (transabdominal cerclage), it is very important that I not go into full blown labor as I run the risk of it ripping out and causing serious issues for me. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyHy7KkauLQ3bf1PWuZGqJKjWkA-B-Aff8aFvvRKZkUaol_wzBnBbgm90MYrWdpBbblQpm9ylYwH2tMwWPOdHjGxrnKjdyAGGw0O14mLm30jvchz-Ot1goolgcB3Sv-knTWoFOZ93csoj/s1600/IMG_2297.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyHy7KkauLQ3bf1PWuZGqJKjWkA-B-Aff8aFvvRKZkUaol_wzBnBbgm90MYrWdpBbblQpm9ylYwH2tMwWPOdHjGxrnKjdyAGGw0O14mLm30jvchz-Ot1goolgcB3Sv-knTWoFOZ93csoj/s200/IMG_2297.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The hospital doctor didn't seem concerned and since my blood pressure was within a normal range, she was planning to send me on home. It became very apparent that she (the doctor) didn't have any understanding at all about the TAC that was placed inside of me. The hospital doctor decided to check me, and it turns out I was actually dilated, which concerned us because that puts me at risk for the permanent cerclage to rip my cervix. However, the hospital doctor was not concerned. At this point, Tanner became concerned as my contractions were picking up and he had no intention of leaving the hospital with me. He suggested that she contact either the doctor on call for my doctor or the doctor who placed the TAC since they were both extremely aware of my history and the need to be extra cautious.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYSzp07tP-mLfDk_rZAybf9DwmdIBjOtdowLgY9PILETUPYp-Q_G4pYyL7iW-MsvT9nM7mP8EkmK-2cOx1a4ktBdeZKOu_UX4AwZa2XOJBiUUPn_Tzt1n9uxuhzTu7cJQdBzbriGnwZ-j/s1600/IMG_2302.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrYSzp07tP-mLfDk_rZAybf9DwmdIBjOtdowLgY9PILETUPYp-Q_G4pYyL7iW-MsvT9nM7mP8EkmK-2cOx1a4ktBdeZKOu_UX4AwZa2XOJBiUUPn_Tzt1n9uxuhzTu7cJQdBzbriGnwZ-j/s200/IMG_2302.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We were very concerned that they were going to send me home dilated and contracting. When I was pregnant with Robby, I was sent home from the hospital (dilated and contracting) by a hospital doctor and was told that I was fine. That night I went into full blown labor with Robby, and later found out that the doctor at the hospital knew that my water was bulging at the time she sent me home, but sent me home anyway. We know that my labor progresses extremely quickly, and we were scared that if they dismissed me that the TAC would rip and put my life and Alice Ruth’s life in danger.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was very disappointed in the lack of knowledge that there was surrounding my permanent cerclage. During both of my visits to labor and delivery, I was made to feel bad about the fact that in 4 days, I was going to have a scheduled c-section. I was repeatedly asked by nurses and doctors why I would not even try to have a vaginal birth, even though I had already explained my permanent cerclage. In addition to my TAC, there were two other reasons for my need to have a c-section which were that I had an accessory placenta, and because of the way that Ellie had to be delivered (emergency c-section with a vertical and horizontal cut to my uterus). </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Luckily, at this point in the day, a shift change happened! Two new nurses came in to introduce themselves and their faces seemed alarmed as they looked at the monitor. They both came over and felt my belly and commented on how hard it was and asked me if I was feeling that. Uh...YES! Next thing we knew.....the new hospital doctor was in and letting us know that she had placed a call to my doctor (on call) and to an on call Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor as to how we should proceed from here. Within a few minutes the hospital doctor was back saying that we would be going into surgery soon....and from that minute on, everything became a whirlwind.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5T_cQzqjYuXMjbTYuKKdvxELlkulBWWFhbcWKoRqIxUuw0OZpHUFZt5kvFFSCuQz63yst_c_XsCzZoZcstZLne5jFwo2gP92mKC8m5VrukQgWr1HduoQyPOeUO-0B2LOkXdCkoUE-Z_x0/s1600/IMG_2307.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5T_cQzqjYuXMjbTYuKKdvxELlkulBWWFhbcWKoRqIxUuw0OZpHUFZt5kvFFSCuQz63yst_c_XsCzZoZcstZLne5jFwo2gP92mKC8m5VrukQgWr1HduoQyPOeUO-0B2LOkXdCkoUE-Z_x0/s200/IMG_2307.JPG" width="133" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Immediately there were papers to sign, an iv was put in, and surgical clothes were brought in for me and my mom. Tanner decided early in the pregnancy, that just like with Ellie’s birth,everyone would be better off with him waiting with my dad and my mom would be in surgery with me.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX90jHWOYO0-VPjDsgLMYfwMIIZWKhYPbfSBEDdJDIraBfDeiAfZM0Ys-qXZrAWcp-PxS_oRfB9-W8jmP49Gj3GGWlrVJPwjyHJjHMBUj5xKsybl8FiI3EIdyTSNnRD6Akhn3C-PyutusO/s1600/IMG_2310.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX90jHWOYO0-VPjDsgLMYfwMIIZWKhYPbfSBEDdJDIraBfDeiAfZM0Ys-qXZrAWcp-PxS_oRfB9-W8jmP49Gj3GGWlrVJPwjyHJjHMBUj5xKsybl8FiI3EIdyTSNnRD6Akhn3C-PyutusO/s200/IMG_2310.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> My dad dropped Ellie off to be with my brother and his fiance, so my mind was at completely at ease as I went into surgery-without any worries about how Ellie was doing. Very quickly we were out of the labor and delivery room and wheeling down the hallway to the operating room. Everyone was very kind and friendly...and all seemed to know my story of premature births. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was feeling happy, anxious, and excited. It was such a different feeling than when I delivered Robby and when I delivered Ellie. It was just such a nice feeling to have, knowing that Alice Ruth had been in utero long enough to be born without the struggles that Ellie had. This c-section was very different from my c-section with Ellie, as with Ellie, it was a true emergency c-section with not much time to spare. With Alice Ruth, it needed to be done quickly for me and my body, but Alice Ruth was not in any danger. They gave my mom “the layout of the land” so to speak, what to touch, what not to touch, where to sit, and when she could and could not take pictures.The anesthesiologist was very personable and talked to us through the entire surgery. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The actual surgery did not take long at all and before I knew it, out came Alice Ruth. My first thought when I saw her was: Oh my goodness! She is so big! I got just a brief look at her as they were taking her over to clean her off and check her breathing. This is the point, the exact point, where I began to panic and the panic overtook some of the excitement I was feeling. The panic I was feeling was about:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lung development. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Breathing. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Premature lung development was the reason Robby could not be saved.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Premature lung development is the reason that Ellie was on a vent for weeks on end, and then a cpap, and then a nasal cannula for her first 4+ months. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is also the reason that Ellie was diagnosed with Chronic Lung Disease at 18 days old. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There were two nurses working on Alice Ruth and they patted her back and patted her back and patted her back. They suctioned her nose and mouth, over and over. They put the mask on her to give her breaths. All the while I could hear the beeping. It was a very familiar sound as I heard it in the NICU and then I heard for many, many months after Ellie came home. It was the beeping on a monitor and it was signaling that her oxygen level was too low. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggE1VBBGl9qtVe8l79oNNRQCUIFbEj_lLs3by8f-n_odhozalBxH0NHQ3HY89ubFihKeoQfqLtEiUXZ3kfE62AAOqXANrSeWlvR2wmPWl36lx9uWxImcaqJu8ublJB6I-slxM3nvXFCGHH/s1600/IMG_2326.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggE1VBBGl9qtVe8l79oNNRQCUIFbEj_lLs3by8f-n_odhozalBxH0NHQ3HY89ubFihKeoQfqLtEiUXZ3kfE62AAOqXANrSeWlvR2wmPWl36lx9uWxImcaqJu8ublJB6I-slxM3nvXFCGHH/s200/IMG_2326.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The anesthesiologist (again) was just amazing. He kept talking to us and he kept things very light. He mentioned several times that many, many babies go to the NICU for just a very short time while the fluid clears from their lungs and their breathing evens out. As he spoke these words, I knew that he was right, but I desperately wanted my little Alice Ruth to go with me….to my room! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQKoIcjyrDPqOfJjWEz63KvbOXq80LL3JvKeaVMOaqvrObcyC16vzZzo04eyJfbnBW97NBsHtfgrjiO8IeG3lZrUE6o1M8hICYXjmSj1eUa7A2L99leyvMEutxTTCqOld44XVscciXlMo/s1600/IMG_2320.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqQKoIcjyrDPqOfJjWEz63KvbOXq80LL3JvKeaVMOaqvrObcyC16vzZzo04eyJfbnBW97NBsHtfgrjiO8IeG3lZrUE6o1M8hICYXjmSj1eUa7A2L99leyvMEutxTTCqOld44XVscciXlMo/s200/IMG_2320.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The surgery was completed….the doctor was finished and the room was clearing out. They started to move my bed towards the door to take me to recovery. All the while, the 2 nurses continued to work on my little one. The anesthesiologist then stopped them from moving my bed and told them that there really wasn’t any reason to make me leave Alice Ruth right now….to please give me this time with her. I could have cried. That was just the nicest thing anyone could have done for me at that particular moment. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidard7pLAoMStqIF4q_wf1cmFsBBgb-Qt_kchNHuYdhYg3rHqLDrs3UTFBq_yYcFr4klCCYPkXmh7a75f1LNPlirPyli9qm2lqo_jxiISjbGRAmTF_W1tiEqpuSwQsrwnfUywK0n_S80ck/s1600/IMG_2338.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidard7pLAoMStqIF4q_wf1cmFsBBgb-Qt_kchNHuYdhYg3rHqLDrs3UTFBq_yYcFr4klCCYPkXmh7a75f1LNPlirPyli9qm2lqo_jxiISjbGRAmTF_W1tiEqpuSwQsrwnfUywK0n_S80ck/s200/IMG_2338.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After (I don’t have any idea how long) a very long time, it happened. Her breathing actually became “normal!” They left Alice Ruth hooked up to the monitor so we could watch her oxygen level, and then they handed me my baby. I can’t even put into words the feeling I had as they handed her over to me! </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN1_z-qewNFg1_AhpKKsW-oO1gANXeeNcrgC7z3L0iWqzsdhGWkueMY2H8dY9jHCAZOydS2l_9rzCLSc4UpY1RSio_INogofMiFPbQaieYYVeHZX14nIbpfKVA6lBk8J0MqPSvVnW32gIt/s1600/IMG_2348.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN1_z-qewNFg1_AhpKKsW-oO1gANXeeNcrgC7z3L0iWqzsdhGWkueMY2H8dY9jHCAZOydS2l_9rzCLSc4UpY1RSio_INogofMiFPbQaieYYVeHZX14nIbpfKVA6lBk8J0MqPSvVnW32gIt/s200/IMG_2348.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We rode out of the operating room together. It was just the most unbelievable feeling. During Ellie’s NICU stay I watched so many women being wheeled out with their brand new babies on their chest, and now here I was able to experience this. I was able to do this thing that is so normal for everyone else. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tanner and my dad were waiting in my recovery room which was just basically across the hall. They couldn’t believe how long it all took. After I was settled, Alice Ruth and I enjoyed time together….skin to skin. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiZOAXyLbrezpr0JUjMVcC-2DjxYu9cd-uoIkVCCNrAcYv7uCBFdzLTqwhtnWHTQzWtHvyWitXdgmx0e9Cge_nfJ3VfINQzDB9BwKV0EIsfMd9uy9pJgddJNeYiv4dAW2Kx-mprxa3r3r/s1600/IMG_2361.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAiZOAXyLbrezpr0JUjMVcC-2DjxYu9cd-uoIkVCCNrAcYv7uCBFdzLTqwhtnWHTQzWtHvyWitXdgmx0e9Cge_nfJ3VfINQzDB9BwKV0EIsfMd9uy9pJgddJNeYiv4dAW2Kx-mprxa3r3r/s200/IMG_2361.JPG" width="133" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My dad left the hospital to go and pick up Ellie and even though it was late, she came up to meet her new sister. After a short visit, my parents took my 4 year old, birthday girl, Ellie, home to put her to bed. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie3I_44KQejxDbshmK6inPpodJta189NWVQcugKaslU4hQbkL493ha2AiEbZ96m4uPy0NS5ltIvHyC0vUDPip30EfuBHBf9WuaM2tvzpiKjfRqR0XNHh9-Ee9y-pma4NzwIRTVZqLLBVVp/s1600/IMG_2381.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie3I_44KQejxDbshmK6inPpodJta189NWVQcugKaslU4hQbkL493ha2AiEbZ96m4uPy0NS5ltIvHyC0vUDPip30EfuBHBf9WuaM2tvzpiKjfRqR0XNHh9-Ee9y-pma4NzwIRTVZqLLBVVp/s200/IMG_2381.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alice Ruth’s breathing remained great and within a couple of hours, they removed the monitor from her and we had our first night together….me, Tanner, and Alice Ruth. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sunday was a good day for both of us. I was recovering and Alice Ruth was eating, sleeping, and going through diapers….just like she should! Late on Sunday night they did a car seat test with Alice Ruth to make sure she could sit in her car seat and continue breathing regularly. The test was an hour and a half and she hated it….but she passed! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Monday morning, my 4 pound, 11 ounce Alice Ruth (she was down from her birth weight) was cleared to leave the hospital and so the only thing we were waiting on was my release. My doctor was back in town now, but I was sure she was very busy from being gone. The nurses let me know that she would not round until late that night. The gem of a nurse, Margaret, who had been taking care of Alice Ruth and me on Sunday and then again on Monday told me that she would go and call my doctor and ask if she would sign off so I could leave! I laughed….thinking she was teasing...and I said: “Just tell her it is Amanda Smith and that I am sure she knows exactly why I am so anxious to leave here with my baby!” Well, she wasn’t teasing, she did actually call my doctor, and she did tell her what I said! My doctor laughed and said yes, she knew why I needed to leave and told her to give me the dismissal. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgel74m3kwiNI1Kmn-b8Obg2qRbn6XWCFRlpxZsmaXDCssiHsor5aKEabV5tgqV4_A2RtHFj1CcNd-3JepmuiEGXTkjeowCcLFzVTAlEu2lVFWjOSs4kpUQunpjkITyhhLeyKBBLEcBPxuX/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgel74m3kwiNI1Kmn-b8Obg2qRbn6XWCFRlpxZsmaXDCssiHsor5aKEabV5tgqV4_A2RtHFj1CcNd-3JepmuiEGXTkjeowCcLFzVTAlEu2lVFWjOSs4kpUQunpjkITyhhLeyKBBLEcBPxuX/s200/PicMonkey+Collage6.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alice Ruth and I left the hospital less than 48 hours after my c-section….together. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-02e1e433-0cd5-669d-9ff0-e22c4c13e0d6"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is the first time, after the births of 3 children, that my baby and I have been able to leave the hospital together. </span></span><br />
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6uWdJLgjHS-ymIvaZ9hr-zw-AcENpQhYBJqSajwDKoe2XNnh3ng1JPcFMOC44hfAJFSfjwxHftVLItIBkHLSGbOxrKTfjOuwi0fzZSx8ztxz_Tq9slZnfQv4XGBYBAe9hU08H9RJjIxc/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6uWdJLgjHS-ymIvaZ9hr-zw-AcENpQhYBJqSajwDKoe2XNnh3ng1JPcFMOC44hfAJFSfjwxHftVLItIBkHLSGbOxrKTfjOuwi0fzZSx8ztxz_Tq9slZnfQv4XGBYBAe9hU08H9RJjIxc/s200/PicMonkey+Collage7.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our little family truly has been so very blessed. </span></span><br />
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yPUJNNfepj9krGuRIQv4CT9Cohlt_k61lreVAYjtUxJotdNmBUJTnJ_dqDppc62z13qrqC5F7GMuF2W6__htPCrc3Wg1Gvr0FDo87IJ1cD2Na9dLw6ujOiSwtcr3MLyEhbGH-SEN7D1w/s1600/IMG_2579.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yPUJNNfepj9krGuRIQv4CT9Cohlt_k61lreVAYjtUxJotdNmBUJTnJ_dqDppc62z13qrqC5F7GMuF2W6__htPCrc3Wg1Gvr0FDo87IJ1cD2Na9dLw6ujOiSwtcr3MLyEhbGH-SEN7D1w/s200/IMG_2579.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-49235982692249172892015-12-26T19:16:00.003-08:002015-12-26T19:16:34.730-08:00The Love of a Parent is Forever<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-11465845-e169-7576-cfce-bad6fb051f6d" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Holidays are difficult when you have lost a loved one. Of course every single day is difficult, but holidays seem to really be a kick in the gut. It is a time of love, laughter, and family. However, when part of your family is missing, it makes things a little (okay, a lot) sad. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we were Christmas shopping earlier in the month, Ellie told me that she needed to buy Robby a present, so she picked out a small matchbox car. Ellie is three, and is really into every aspect of Christmas this year, so she also insisted that we wrap it up for him. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On Christmas Eve we went out to the cemetery where Robby is buried. Ellie unwrapped Robby’s present, and played with the little red car on his stone. She had received a package in the mail from Santa the day before, which included snow from the North Pole and some Reindeer food to sprinkle in the yard before bed on Christmas Eve. Ellie pulled both containers out of her Minnie Mouse backpack that she had packed up and then she “showed” them to Robby. She very carefully took the lid off of the snow, put her little fingers in the container, pulled out some “snow”and then sprinkled it on his stone. She told Robby that Santa sent her this snow from his house. Then she opened up the reindeer food and did the same thing, as she let Robby know that now Rudolph would know where to find him. It broke my heart yet made my heart full all at the same time knowing that she wanted to “share” with her big brother. Her brother whom she has never actually met. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6b8MYjYBvzgeRjbPJoWSO7YLYhA_5UUcJ4oCvuW21t9G6qE4yPQyWUHO5woUJFOE8zLwvvpbtXAtdwL8FIsyhg_OtEySDihi0Wtx41nHzn1sMKWiVkSaVXWCLD7MLmVwGwtvxvxsOfjH/s1600/PicMonkey+Collagerobbychristmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6b8MYjYBvzgeRjbPJoWSO7YLYhA_5UUcJ4oCvuW21t9G6qE4yPQyWUHO5woUJFOE8zLwvvpbtXAtdwL8FIsyhg_OtEySDihi0Wtx41nHzn1sMKWiVkSaVXWCLD7MLmVwGwtvxvxsOfjH/s320/PicMonkey+Collagerobbychristmas.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we go to visit Robby, I like to walk around Babyland and look at the different things that are out for the other angel babies. I talk with Ellie about the different decorations that are out, and we say some of the baby names out loud. I like to say and hear Robby’s name said out loud because it validates his existence to me, so it has become natural to do the same for other angel babies as well. This year, I noticed several different stones that were decorated for Christmas. They were stones of babies who were born many years ago. These babies were born in 1980, 1986, 1992 and 1993. The 1992 really hit home for me because I was born in 1992. These parents,23 years later, still come to their angel baby's grave and put out Christmas decorations.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I sat at Robby’s grave, I’m going to be honest, I cried...a lot. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1LUUvf4CQ1UodsibVCcIUrWYbRNKUUYLIqrHAa6Ezvp38bLW3IlHEc_h3fuSB9mjzJWuHVAdRbzX5tYJGJteBeBcOmypCT1vPTT2iCMADfeHvEj_3BB0-Bx1_nDisBdAJI8dZLVl8YpZM/s1600/PicMonkey+Collageolderbabies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1LUUvf4CQ1UodsibVCcIUrWYbRNKUUYLIqrHAa6Ezvp38bLW3IlHEc_h3fuSB9mjzJWuHVAdRbzX5tYJGJteBeBcOmypCT1vPTT2iCMADfeHvEj_3BB0-Bx1_nDisBdAJI8dZLVl8YpZM/s320/PicMonkey+Collageolderbabies.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I did not cry because I am living in the past.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I did not cry because I don’t appreciate the beautiful living child that I have.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I did not cry because I can’t move on. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I cried because this Christmas and every Christmas for as long as I live, I won’t ever get to see my little boy’s eyes light up on Christmas morning while opening presents. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I cried because he won’t ever have a picture with Santa. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I cried because the love of a parent is forever. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m praying for all of the parents who have suffered a loss- whether it has been a recent loss, or it has been many years. A loss is difficult whether it is new or old because the love of a parent is forever. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<h1 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I'll love you forever,</span></h1>
<h1 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'll like you for always, </span></h1>
<h1 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As long as I'm living, </span></h1>
<h1 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">my baby you'll be.”</span></h1>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">― </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6039100.Robert_Munsch" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Robert Munsch</span></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/277308" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Love You Forever</span></a></div>
<br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-61931899415828778692015-10-15T08:15:00.001-07:002015-10-15T08:15:48.017-07:00Ellie Is Three <div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is hard for me to believe that three years ago today our sweet little Ellie was born. When I think back to that day, I have different feelings than what a lot of mothers have. That was such a scary day for us. When I went into labor that morning, I wanted to hope that my doctors would be able to keep Ellie in longer, but I knew that with my history, the chances were not likely. I knew that Ellie would be born soon, and that we would not make it to Thanksgiving (32 weeks) like we had been praying that we would.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;">For 7 weeks, there wasn’t a doctor in the NICU who would look me in the eye and tell me that Ellie would survive. It wasn’t until she was 49 days old that we received the glorious news from her NICU doctor that she would survive. Born 14 weeks too soon, she had a brain bleed, ROP </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;">(</span><span style="color: #252525; vertical-align: baseline;">Retinopathy of prematurity)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;">, pneumonia at only a week old, Chronic Lung Disease after the first several weeks, and she was on oxygen-intubated for most of her hospital stay. She had so many setbacks, and at times I thought that the roller coaster would not ever end. We spent so much time going up and down, and then we would have some smoother days, then we would be back up and down again. Then it happened, Ellie finally came home. She came home on monitors and oxygen but she finally came home. Since then, life has not been easy. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"> Ellie had chronic lung disease, and because of that we kept her isolated for such a long time in order to keep her as well as possible and to keep her from having to go back to the hospital. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"> We are still extremely careful about germs and what she is exposed to because after 3 years it has become a habit more than anything, but we do continue to ease up every single day. Ellie’s doctor said a couple months ago that he believes that any and all of the problems that Ellie had when she was born have been resolved. He went on to say that he does not have any concerns about her. We are truly blessed.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ellie was born on October 15, which happens to be a significant date for two other reasons. The first reason being that on October 15 , 2011, I found out that I was pregnant with Robby. The second reason is that it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. The past two years I have not mentioned Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day on October 15th because it is on the same day as Ellie’s birthday, however, I have been thinking a lot about it over these past few months, and I have started to form a new outlook on it.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ellie’s birthday falling on October 15 is a constant reminder of how incredibly blessed we are. When Ellie was born, the outlook for her was bleak. She was so tiny when she was born- 1 pound 12 ounces. She was so small and she looked so fragile. Her head was black due to bruising from being stuck. We are truly blessed that she is here with us today. We are so blessed that instead of spending Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day honoring her memory like we do Robby’s memory,we are able to celebrate her life and that she is still living. Ellie’s outcome could have been so different, but it wasn’t, and for that, we praise God.Ellie brings so much joy into our lives, and she is a constant reminder of how great God is and how prayer truly does change things. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, today on October 15, we are going to spend the day celebrating our little miracle, Ellie. But we will also be remembering Robby,who we lost in February of 2012. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We will be remembering the babies that I miscarried last month, in September of 2015. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And on this awareness day, we will also be remembering all of the babies who have been taken too soon.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we embark on Ellie becoming a “three-nager” I want to remember each and every day how blessed we are. Ellie is strong, tough, funny, loving, loud, energetic, demanding, extremely inquisitive, and a very strong willed child. We love each and every quality and characteristic that she has. Ellie has such a strong will that some days are a challenge, but each and every challenging day is a gift, a precious gift.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #222222;" /></span>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Happy Birthday sweet Princess <3 We love you more than you will ever know!</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX6JPB30xDhBcJ2Z8aSjVZpWnJ4_xo0X3-AlETXG-idtrfXADLoqCXxXYKWlc516b3aex4QFSRLSiP5iVkRDT63DTRXHE5e3MDpMtq_7CyBkiPjq7JLrNIxsoh57a9zCMD6e_hsNGU7AK3/s1600/IMG_4739bday3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX6JPB30xDhBcJ2Z8aSjVZpWnJ4_xo0X3-AlETXG-idtrfXADLoqCXxXYKWlc516b3aex4QFSRLSiP5iVkRDT63DTRXHE5e3MDpMtq_7CyBkiPjq7JLrNIxsoh57a9zCMD6e_hsNGU7AK3/s320/IMG_4739bday3.jpg" width="250" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-72572850374638105752015-07-26T18:52:00.000-07:002015-07-26T18:52:50.982-07:00Build Up Rather Than Tear Down<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Grief never ends… But it changes.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s a passage, not a place to stay.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith…</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is the price of love.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">~Author Unknown</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-76a91d84-cd32-128b-2991-500a4b2bbb85" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let’s talk about grief. Grieving is something that is brought up a lot in my blog, but I usually try to keep it to my end of year recaps, or Robby’s birthday blog. However, due to some recent events, I feel like I need to talk about it some more.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> One of the many things that I have learned since starting my blog, and then starting Project Robby, is that I have opened myself up to a lot of things. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*I have opened myself up to good things such as meeting people who have such wonderful, giving hearts. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">* I have opened myself up on this blog, sharing my personal thoughts, in hopes of helping others.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*I have been connected with other loss moms. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*Through the help of everyone who has donated, we are able to touch so many lives through Project Robby. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*We are able to bless families with hats and blankets that fit their tiny child. They have something special, and they are reminded that their child, no matter how early or tiny is special too. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And, for all of these things, I am truly thankful. I have been blessed beyond measure!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, in the past couple of days I have realized that along with all of the good things, I have also opened myself up to something that does not feel very good and something I did not expect- judgement. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As many loss moms know, grief is something that people very openly have an opinion on. I am sorry to say that in the past I have been judged by a few extended family members and friends before, and I have learned how to accept their opinions, forgive them, and move on. However, up until a few days ago I had never felt or realized that people who don’t really know me and are not apart of my life were also judging me openly and publicly. Judging me in the way that I am dealing with my grief from losing Robby. After experiencing it, I can say first hand that it is a terrible feeling. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, I would like to try to turn a negative (people judging my grief journey publicly) into a positive ( that someone might take a little bit of what I am saying in my blog and apply it) .</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will not get into the details of what all happened because the details truly don’t matter. However, I do feel that maybe God put this event in my life for a reason, and maybe that reason is for me write this blog. Maybe there is someone else out there who needs to read this. So, if you are someone who has experienced a loss, if you are a family member of someone who has experienced a loss, a friend of someone who has experienced a loss, or maybe even just someone who is looking for some perspective on the subject- this blog is for you. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Grief is something that is so very personal, and we all grieve in our own ways. One of my biggest pieces of advice to other loss moms (and dads) is to grieve however you need to grieve and grieve however long you need to grieve. Even with my recent run in with others judging me, this is still some of my biggest advice. I stand by that statement with my whole heart. I feel that you are not truly working through your grief if you speed up the process just to make someone else happy, or to dodge some judgement. I have learned that if I step back quietly during rough patches of my grief I get labeled “insensitive,” “living in the past,” and “lacking compassion,” however, if I try to explain why I am stepping back quietly I get labeled “ insensitive,” lacking compassion,” and “living in the past.” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6649999999999998; margin-bottom: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.775; margin-bottom: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">~</span><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/eleanor_roosevelt.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eleanor Roosevelt</span></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, before you offer an opinion to someone for how they are grieving, I want you to stop, think, and then keep it to yourself.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Please do not ever tell a grieving parent that they are not “normal.” I will tell you what isn’t “normal,”- having to bury your child. Trust me, that is not normal. Please do not tell them that they are bad parents to their living children because they are walking the path of grief. Being a grieving parent does not make you a bad parent! It also doesn’t make you a bad parent when you talk about your child that has passed away with your living child. Please do not try to tell someone that you “understand” their grief because you have a friend who suffered a miscarriage. Unless you have actually walked in the same shoes as the mother who has lost her child, please just tell them how sorry you are that they are having to walk this path. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before I lost Robby, I had no idea what to say and what to not say to someone who had lost a child.. I had no idea that certain things were so hurtful to parents who had lost a child. As part of my grief journey, I have been able to realize that most people say things so innocently, without realizing they are hurting me, and certainly not thinking that their words could be hurtful. Now, at this point in my grief journey, I am able to look past those</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">innocent things, and take them simply as</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">words spoken in an effort to be helpful. Unfortunately, I have learned that there are still people out there who intentionally say things to hurt me because in their minds my grief journey is not justified. Instead of telling someone how they should be grieving, please tell them that if they need anything you are there for them. Whether it has been 10 days since their loss or 10 years since their loss, just be there for them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<h1 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.4727272727272727; margin-bottom: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”</span></h1>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">― </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5447898.Vicki_Harrison" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vicki Harrison</span></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I love that quote because it is so accurate. There are days, weeks, and even months now that are not very hard at all, but then there are days that the pain of missing Robby hits me like a wave. Am I sad all of the time now? No, I can honestly say that I am not. Do I miss my little boy? Yes, I miss him fiercely. However, unlike after he first died, I do not sit at home and cry all day. Did I when he first died? Yes, I did. After Robby died I just stayed at home so that I did not have to be around anyone, especially young children! That was where I was in my grief journey then (nearly 3 ½ years ago), but thanks to supportive friends and family, I have come</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> so </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">far from that. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I think of Robby or talk about him with Ellie, I have a smile on my face because Robby was a blessing. When I talk to Ellie about her big brother, Robby, it is not ever in a sad way because I do not want her to think that Robby’s memory brings me sadness. Robby’s memory brings me joy because he is my child. I wish he were here with us, but that is not our reality. However, someday we will all be together again in Heaven, and what a glorious day that will be. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am thankful for Project Robby, because it has helped me to heal. I talked about Robby in public for the very first time during my KWCH 12 interview. It was a hard step to make because it made me vulnerable, but it was a step forward in my grieving process. Unfortunately, I have recently learned that there are people who might think that Project Robby is just a way for me to continue to “live in the past.” Let me be very clear here with my response to that, “It is not!” Project Robby is a way for me to take the pain of losing Robby, and turn it into something positive- which is to help other families who have lost a child. It is our mission to make sure that parents who have lost babies know that their baby was special, and is important. Through Project Robby, we want to make sure that each family has something special for their baby, and something special for the parents to hold onto. Working through my grief will be a lifelong process, and I want to help other families who are beginning their process. I want them to know that there is someone out there who understands. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><br /></b><br />
<h1 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 11pt; margin-right: 9pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey. They don't need to, it's not for them.”</span></h1>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7999999999999998; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 9pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">― </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13466379.Joubert_Botha" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Joubert Botha</span></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I actually have a list of “milestones” if you will, that I want to be able to achieve. Goals. Steps forward in my grief journey. So far, I have marked off many of these milestones, and I think that in the next couple of weeks I am going to be able to cross off a major one as a dear friend of mine is expecting a little boy and she is due anytime now. I am so excited for her and her husband, and I can not wait to meet my (honorary) nephew! That will be a blog for a different day though! I want to thank this friend for the grace that she has shown to me during her pregnancy. She has been so kind, thoughtful, and compassionate and for that I am truly thankful. She is a wonderful friend, and I can’t wait to watch her experience the joy of having a baby! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to thank my family and friends who have stuck by me in this ocean of grief. Waves come, but then they settle, and I am thankful for those who have stuck those waves out with me. I am thankful for those who held my hand during those waves. However, there are some people who have not stuck with me during the waves, and that is okay. It really is okay! Some people can not handle the waves, and some people want me to just act as if the waves are not there. The waves will always come, but with the help of supportive family and friends I can swim through those waves, and thankfully those waves are not very fierce anymore. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The people who have stuck with me have been able to see my progress. My progress might be slow, but the friends and family who have been there with me through the waves have been able to witness how far I have come. I have found that the people who judge me the most are those who could not handle holding my hand through the waves, and therefore dropped out. Unfortunately, they still think that I am at the same place in my journey that I was when they couldn’t handle to hold on any longer. I wish that they could see how far my journey has come. I do not blame these people for not holding on during the waves, this is a hard journey. I am so grateful to the people who have stuck it out with me, because I know it has not been easy!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will say it one last time:</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before you offer your opinion to someone for how they are grieving, I want you to stop, think, and then just don’t say it. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Next time you are tempted to pass judgement on grieving parents, I want you to really think about your words. Try to find a way to build them up and make sure that your words won’t tear them down instead. Maybe instead of judging this person you could do something helpful. Maybe you could donate to a cause that is in place to help grieving families. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you are experiencing a fierce wave of grief, or if you have questions on what you can do to help someone who is dealing with the loss of a child, please feel free to email me at: </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">projectrobby24@gmail.com . I would be very happy to lend an ear, pray for you, or try to help in any way that I can.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have compiled a list of places other than Project Robby that help grieving families, and I encourage you to, instead of judging someone, help make a difference. Instead of spewing judgment, spread love <3 </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Molly Bears </span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep </span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Compassionate Friends </span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Tears Foundation </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">― </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1825.Harper_Lee" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Harper Lee</span></a><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3275794" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To Kill a Mockingbird</span></a></div>
<br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-50547133567909828562015-06-11T17:19:00.000-07:002015-06-11T17:19:53.744-07:00Anniversary Ramblings <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Four years ago today, Tanner and I had an absolutely perfect, fairy tale wedding. On one of the happiest days of our lives we stood up in front of our family and friends, and we promised to love each other for the rest of our lives. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-8a9d9eba-e4c4-4c94-897f-9db1f24de14a" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ohEgh9yg2xkf5LahAoivWwqETk_MxlZnDe4ICcToMTWNeCHNYIn_A792RdcXEiOab2o7mVGv4vCMYAO0FCj2ehOuoOxaKBF6MBYUAT5Mo8kZmwTSH8blqfvj9Vs-eS7s-o6ITYNAbQEt/s1600/anniv1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ohEgh9yg2xkf5LahAoivWwqETk_MxlZnDe4ICcToMTWNeCHNYIn_A792RdcXEiOab2o7mVGv4vCMYAO0FCj2ehOuoOxaKBF6MBYUAT5Mo8kZmwTSH8blqfvj9Vs-eS7s-o6ITYNAbQEt/s320/anniv1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We promised to love each other for better or worse </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Through richer or poorer.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In sickness and in health.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In good times and in bad. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE4Zv0EDAWF-lG7ROsufKxkxl4MdkNSVNs8lt-2PvlueOP4HNqAIeghgphbS-KNzpaiuKDOkyNVmOfiQEWAOfmWXW9Bf2JLB5oZ47XBvHQJnhbn4U7BgihDTjqVKt-q_OVytZJJxHTbKfa/s1600/anniv4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE4Zv0EDAWF-lG7ROsufKxkxl4MdkNSVNs8lt-2PvlueOP4HNqAIeghgphbS-KNzpaiuKDOkyNVmOfiQEWAOfmWXW9Bf2JLB5oZ47XBvHQJnhbn4U7BgihDTjqVKt-q_OVytZJJxHTbKfa/s320/anniv4.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Aside from the “richer” part of the vows, we have so far experienced each and every one one of the other things that we vowed. Actually, we hit all of those milestones before we even celebrated our first anniversary. Just as we promised, we have loved each other through poorer, sickness, health, good times, and bad times. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oMV346uTVaCieZJa7uF8UJ9r-F5YE8xBYO4NvreKLvjLd0dH-O6hStWpqE9jXkXdF7wCksuAg7k3uq2pXiA5_nHZjnpmpekL9fMupJw_FqeODevwPSC44M2xz0XrD4NgWDqSk6i2KSBK/s1600/anniv10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0oMV346uTVaCieZJa7uF8UJ9r-F5YE8xBYO4NvreKLvjLd0dH-O6hStWpqE9jXkXdF7wCksuAg7k3uq2pXiA5_nHZjnpmpekL9fMupJw_FqeODevwPSC44M2xz0XrD4NgWDqSk6i2KSBK/s320/anniv10.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Disney has given us the phrase “Happily Ever After,” but we all know that in reality this doesn't happen! I have learned that it is okay to not have the perfect or the fairy tale marriage all of the time. Honestly, there is no such a thing as a “perfect marriage.” We live in an age where social media is a portal into other people’s lives. It can be an amazing thing, but it can also be extremely misleading. I know that we have all felt the need and the pressure to make things seem better than they really are for the purpose of Facebook. We want the world to think that everything is going great all of the time. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Unfortunately, life is not perfect all of the time!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I feel that Tanner and I have a very good marriage but in all honesty, our marriage has not always been easy. Actually, at times I can say that it has been downright frustrating! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We have had so many good times. We have shared so many wonderful memories together, from the birth of our daughter, to spending holidays together, to celebrating each others accomplishments, to everyday fun times and memories. These are all things that have enriched our lives and strengthened our marriage.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPMx888ROof4XWKGaofyhXE8JeCCCXdjNdzBY7oeF5S4hWWQyh7NuX62vcd_N2yD82jU-3MK1cR3Au66pgrUH4TIp-BXwGwlEl4rjmkn8PTxW8U94Ma-3IlDpge0MYHnLkFPjHvGNtq0Dm/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage4thann.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPMx888ROof4XWKGaofyhXE8JeCCCXdjNdzBY7oeF5S4hWWQyh7NuX62vcd_N2yD82jU-3MK1cR3Au66pgrUH4TIp-BXwGwlEl4rjmkn8PTxW8U94Ma-3IlDpge0MYHnLkFPjHvGNtq0Dm/s320/PicMonkey+Collage4thann.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, we have also had disagreements, and there are times that we do not see eye to eye on things. We have learned to respect each others opinions because we are not the same person and we each have our own thoughts, ideas, wishes, desires, and even dreams. This is part of what keeps our marriage exciting!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This past week we filled out a questionnaire that was circulating on Facebook(you will be able to read it at the end of this), and one of the questions was “how are you alike.” We both very confidently answered that we are not at all alike. We are two very different people which is one of the things that attracted me to Tanner nearly 8 years ago. Although we are extremely different from each other, we are still so very in love with each other. Since we are opposites in many ways, of course we have disagreements. Sometimes it is difficult to find a way to meld our dreams together, and it does take sacrifice on both ends. In my opinion, that is a big part of having a happy marriage- learning to communicate thoughts and feelings and then being able to compromise. One of the hardest things for me and Tanner has been to find ways to communicate our feelings with each other. This is where the frustrating part really comes in! Communication can be hard!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What I can say about the rough times is that everything that we have been through,the good and the bad, has made us stronger as individuals, and definitely stronger as a couple. I feel that we have done a good job of working together and finding ways to work through the difficult times in our marriage. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As everyone knows, Tanner and I married at what most consider to be a young age. When we got married, we knew that we would have challenges, but we also knew that getting married was what was best for us, and it was what we wanted. Although our marriage hasn't been rainbows and unicorns every single minute of the past four years, it truly has been a wonderful four years. We have had some trying times, but how could we appreciate the good times without the trying times? Tanner and I are blessed to have a wonderful family who has loved and supported us through our marriage. I would like to offer a big “thank you” to my parents. They are especially appreciated because they have been such a wonderful example to us.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ2JnO1EATgRoxxzi7vLRNC-iRjzPqztj4hCKYPcvTv-bOWJMn-1UsFcAE1fQBPLNcn8DIiibNO5MGGYbDuSHGp7wEpTPJJUPaRfNSrVwQa-dvB7-wtHhVOJXdKgrQFgiVTKTBC4o8E96n/s1600/anniv5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ2JnO1EATgRoxxzi7vLRNC-iRjzPqztj4hCKYPcvTv-bOWJMn-1UsFcAE1fQBPLNcn8DIiibNO5MGGYbDuSHGp7wEpTPJJUPaRfNSrVwQa-dvB7-wtHhVOJXdKgrQFgiVTKTBC4o8E96n/s320/anniv5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We have changed a lot in the last four years, but our love has grown and changed with us. We have changed for the better and we have done it together. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIVDtusNnjDTX3DkaeNvOHd32-ygFx2c1l9MAK9CFIuEIGb_wopXvlXXsCb_2U5r-ge_SB_UdSud5e1hHGLMpsE6eRByLD7vFuu474s057TPUWHzFknazr8TRLkpCE3du7IaQgeoxbGE6J/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage4yearsanniv.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="106" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIVDtusNnjDTX3DkaeNvOHd32-ygFx2c1l9MAK9CFIuEIGb_wopXvlXXsCb_2U5r-ge_SB_UdSud5e1hHGLMpsE6eRByLD7vFuu474s057TPUWHzFknazr8TRLkpCE3du7IaQgeoxbGE6J/s320/PicMonkey+Collage4yearsanniv.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><br /><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For your enjoyment, Tanner and I both took the quiz about each other, and here are the results :</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. What is something your husband always says to you? How much did that cost?</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. What makes your husband happy? Family dinners </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. What makes your husband sad? When I eat his dessert. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4. How does your husband make you laugh? Tanner tends to speak before he thinks which results in some pretty funny things coming out of his mouth!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5. What was your husband like as a child? Hyper and not very good at minding. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6. How old is your husband? 23</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">7. </span><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How tall is your husband?</span><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Taller than me, but short enough that I have to be careful how tall my wedges are.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">8. What is his favorite thing to do? Just sit down and relax </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">9. What does your husband do when you're not around? Smoke cigars, drink QT drinks, and eat QT roller food</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">10. If your husband becomes famous, what will it be for? Having such an amazing wife ;) </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">11. What is your husband really good at? He’s a really good people person</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">12. What is your husband not very good at? Paying attention to directions</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">13. What does your husband do for a job? Drives around and sells stuff</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">14.What is your husband’s favorite food? My mom’s creamy taco and homemade, iced brownie</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">15.What makes you proud of your husband? His dedication to me and to Ellie.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">16. If your husband were a character, who would he be? Tigger</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">17. What do you and your husband do together? We watch How I Met Your Mother</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">18. How are you and your husband the same? We aren’t the same- at all. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">19. How are you and your husband different? I’m a perfectionist, and he is not. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">20. How do you know your husband loves you? He has always been so supportive of all of my dreams. He has been supportive of my dreams for Project Robby, and my dreams for continuing my education. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">21. What does your husband like most about you? My dedication to shopping at Target all of the time instead of Von Maur.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">22. Where is your husband’s favorite place to go?The Shop ( The building where my dad runs his business) </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br />_____________________________________________________________________<br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. What is something your wife always says to you? That's got germs on it </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">( I of course corrected him: I say that HAS germs on it!) </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2. What makes your wife happy? Crafting</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3. What makes your wife sad? We don’t have a pool</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4. How does your wife make you laugh? Her witty banter </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5. </span><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What was your wife like as a child? Perfect </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6. How old is your wife? 23</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">7. How tall is your wife? 5’ 4 ½”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">8. What is her favorite thing to do? Go shopping</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">9. What does your wife do when you're not around? She's a mom</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">10. If your wife becomes famous, what will it be for? Writing a book</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">11. What is your wife really good at? Correcting me</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">12. What is your wife not very good at? Navigating and deciding where to eat </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">13. What does your wife do for a job? She's a mom</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">14.What is your wife's favorite food? Mexican</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">15.What makes you proud of your wife? She’s following what she wants to do and making her dreams happen</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">16. If your wife were a character, who would she be? What's the one from Sleeping Beauty? Belle? </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">( I would like to point out that this is a direct quote! Yes, I think Tanner needs to brush up on his Disney Princess knowledge! )</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">17. What do you and your wife do together? Do you really want me to say this one out loud? </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">18. How are you and your wife the same? We're not</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">19. How are you and your wife different? She doesn't eat Sonic Ice Cream</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">20. How do you know your wife loves you? She makes me lunches </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.46181812286377; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">21. What does your wife like most about you? I work hard</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">22. Where is your wife's favorite place to go? Target</span></div>
<br /><br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-67409507668577018682015-05-17T20:10:00.000-07:002015-05-17T20:10:46.702-07:00“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the things you can think up if only you try!” ~ Dr. Seuss <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This weekend we traveled to Hays, Kansas for my commencement ceremony at Fort Hays State University. I would call it my graduation ceremony, but since I actually graduated in December 2014 , I requested that everyone in my family refer to it as my commencement ceremony. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsjbyPTVZLcmlqM9Ak87C5etBOWHWppm6T8rX12s2I3mlxI7rmxaEDyeTTEeupvDV9eOAC57SMg6feKHxAxBdoC10ATFlZmjs0yrwzrQ09QWP1pPQ3XGQRo86WuA-G4GNnAtdqw-j0YRH4/s1600/IMG_1369.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsjbyPTVZLcmlqM9Ak87C5etBOWHWppm6T8rX12s2I3mlxI7rmxaEDyeTTEeupvDV9eOAC57SMg6feKHxAxBdoC10ATFlZmjs0yrwzrQ09QWP1pPQ3XGQRo86WuA-G4GNnAtdqw-j0YRH4/s320/IMG_1369.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-c1581ba5-64dc-0369-35c0-7d31fd3fd7c5" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, to mark this big occasion in my life, I have decided to blog about what I learned during my college journey. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Things that I learned in college:</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Be Creative </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I started out college as an elementary education major, and while I was taking those classes, it was easy to be creative because it was expected in that field. However, there were general education classes that took a little extra work to be creative in. It was my personal goal in each major paper that I wrote to find some way to include a Dr. Suess or Walt Disney quote. I usually made this happen in the opening, closing, or my personal favorite- the title! I had some teachers that truly appreciated the lengths that I went to in order to add my own personal touch to each assignment, but some did not seem as amused!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One particular instance was in an art history class. The assignment was to choose an artist and write about one of his/her works of art. I, of course, decided to use Dr. Suess as my artist, and use the book “I Can Read with My Eyes Shut” as the specific work of art. The instructor was not amused, and made it clear that she was not thrilled with my choice. Although she did not agree with me, after she read my paper and listened to my presentation over Dr. Seuss's work of art, I ended up getting an A on the paper, she admitted that I was right about my choice and that it was a good one! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Not all teachers will like you, but that is okay because in life not everyone will like you.</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since I was homeschooled, I always got along with my teacher, but that was not the case in college. However, it is a very important life lesson to learn. There are going to be people in life who do not like you, people who will not always agree with you, and there will be people whom you do not like either. The important thing is to learn how to respectfully deal with them because that is just part of life. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Being a “virtual student” doesn’t mean it was easy </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It takes a lot of discipline to be an online student. I would write out my schedule for the week, and I had to stick to it. Since I was in online classes, I absolutely had to do all of the assigned reading, because not all teachers record lectures for you to listen to. There was a certain amount of “self teaching” involved. I found during my time as an online student that a majority of people thought that I was a virtual student because I was not smart enough to do school on campus. It was always very rewarding when some of these “said people” (and even instructors) admitted that they were wrong and admired the work that I did. Although being an online student was harder for me at times, it truly was what was best for me since I had to take into account my health issues. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Online classes do not have to be impersonal </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some online professors just give you the assignments and tell you to read the book and take your tests. However, there are other professors who take the time to really get to know the online students. They not only read all of the discussion board posts, but reply to them as well. I really looked forward to hearing back from my professors about the papers that I had poured myself into. I was lucky to have a handful of such wonderful professors who took the time to get to know me even though I was “only” an online student. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is okay to change your mind</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I started college, I heard the statistic that on average, students change their major three different times in college. At the time, I thought that was absolutely crazy! I wondered how anyone could be so indecisive about what they wanted to do with their life and what they wanted to go to school for. However, I learned that it does happen. In life we grow, our priorities change, and as a result of that, our desires and passions sometimes take a different turn, and that is okay. For the record, I did end up changing my major 3 different times! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I’m not dissapointed that I didn’t get the normal “college experience”</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When we made the trip to Fort Hays this weekend, I was surrounded by “normal” college students. It really hit me how different I was from so many of them when we went to the Dean’s reception. As I sat at the back, with Ellie in the stroller next to me, there were people all around me talking and laughing with each other. They all looked at me and Ellie as if we were out of place, but I didn’t care. The fact is that if I had decided after high school to go to Emporia State University (which was a big consideration since I wanted to go into the teaching field), my life would be so different right now. If I had to go back in time, I would do it all over again the exact same way. As I sat there with Ellie and my mom, I wasn’t jealous of the other people there who were only worried about turning in their last assignments and getting moved out of the dorm before heading home for the summer, but I was happy to be exactly where I am. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMWgLa5KiSfh00cjFe3UrtGjX5BVF3rFUHtBkiAIeCQYrBIVhfdDpOrOTpVDrnvgg7YUkLuGvaFplFvKBiGmfb7wqkVWAuBpQlnrshH6Tpf-YHHsBFYBSGfpdCU8BNoxDWVkaYbMLftuMM/s1600/IMG_1237.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMWgLa5KiSfh00cjFe3UrtGjX5BVF3rFUHtBkiAIeCQYrBIVhfdDpOrOTpVDrnvgg7YUkLuGvaFplFvKBiGmfb7wqkVWAuBpQlnrshH6Tpf-YHHsBFYBSGfpdCU8BNoxDWVkaYbMLftuMM/s320/IMG_1237.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stand up for yourself</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is easy in college (and life) to just let people walk all over you and make decisions for you. I was raised that it is important to respectfully stand up for yourself, think for yourself, and be your own advocate. That point was driven home during my college experience. If I felt that a grade was wrong, or that something should be different, I approached the professor about it. In the end, the professors (generally) appreciated and respected my questions, concerns, and thoughts.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is obviously really important to be able to watch a movie and write a paper about it.</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can’t even count on my fingers and toes how many movies I had to watch and then apply to a certain topic during my time in college. I am not even referring to movies that were educational! It seemed like in each class I took I had to watch one or more movies, and then write a paper about a certain psychological aspect of that movie. I have to admit, this was one of the things I least enjoyed about college- I would much rather write a research paper!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to do more because I found my passion</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Once I realized that my life long dream to be a teacher was not going to happen due to health issues and before I realized that I wanted to major in Psychology, my main goal was to just get done with school. At that point in time I actually switched from an Elementary Education major to a General Studies major. I still wanted to get good grades, but my main goal was to just get done. Then I took an Abnormal Psychology class with an amazing professor, and my whole perspective changed. It was during that semester that I realized that I didn’t want to just be done with school. but that I found what area of study that became important to me. I want to help people. More specifically, I want to help other families who have lost their children. Project Robby has really helped to confirm that this is what I want to do, and I have decided to pursue a master’s degree in counseling with the intention of being able to help people through grief counseling. I am not sure at what point I will be able to go onto the master’s program as it is expensive and time consuming, but achieving this goal has become a top priority for not only me, but also for my entire support system (a.k.a my family)!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have an amazing family </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have always known that I have an amazing family. We have always been very close, but during my college experience I truly realized how amazing and supportive my family is. I certainly could not have finished if it hadn't been for their constant support, love, and encouragement. There were times that I didn't think that I could keep going. During college, I had two semesters that made me question if I could continue on in college. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-align: justify; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">The first semester was when my health issues hit and hit hard, and I was diagnosed. At that time, I was taking classes at Wichita State University, and not only were they on a large campus with a lot of walking, but they were also scheduled at night. My pain increased as the day went on, so by the time those classes rolled around in the evening, I could barely walk. Riding in the car was extremely painful and so the ride across town took what little energy I had left. My mom was the one who helped me wash my hair, get dressed, drove me to classes, and helped me get to those classes in a wheelchair. Yes, it was that bad. It was that semester that I learned that Wichita State was not going to be the college for me.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">The second semester that I </span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7000007629395px; white-space: pre-wrap;">didn't</span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> think I would finish was the semester that Robby was born and then died. By that time I had learned about Fort Hays State University and their virtual program. I was an online student, and doing very well. The flexibility of the online classes was working out great with my health issues and I was thrilled that I </span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7000007629395px; white-space: pre-wrap;">didn't</span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> have to ride in a car to get to any of my classes! Then, I went into preterm labor with Robby, and he was born too early and he died. My doctor wrote a note so that the teachers at FHSU realized that I was really having a true health crisis, and I wasn’t just trying to get out of work or making excuses. However, the note was only good while I was actually in labor-not afterwards when I was dealing with the pain and grief of losing my baby. Thankfully one of my professors was extremely compassionate for my circumstances, but the others, not so much. They </span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7000007629395px; white-space: pre-wrap;">didn't</span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> “know” me, and to them I was just another online student. I not only had to continue taking the classes that I was enrolled in, but I had to go back and make up the work that I had missed while I was in labor and burying my baby- and I had to do so in a very timely fashion. I thought that I would just drop the classes, but unfortunately, It was beyond the drop date and the money could not and would not be refunded. </span></span><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even though we would have lost out on the money, I still wanted to quit. I just wanted to say screw it and be done for the semester and possibly permanently. They were only grades and I couldn't imagine being able to focus on a full class load while dealing with my grief. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My mom is the person who encouraged me to continue on, not just because there wouldn't be a refund, but because she knew that it would be for the best. I don’t think that I have ever thanked her for doing that for me, for nudging me in the direction of continuing on. If it weren't for her, I would have quit that semester, and quite possibly never gone back. So, thank you mom, for pushing me gently into realizing that I needed to continue on that semester, even though it was hard. It was so incredibly hard.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWT7k9pdSysJuk3zqySAXJZaxw6wIdVWbG4bcLMqWOqVw9fnMQvKIZZZOh-SoeWnWniEkLPp0uJbIfIvJ6eULtxm8xBUN7pdl6ofu38s1g0L2Tl_njZe9bN7O4pI3ezAxucH9qetD5Ak1_/s1600/IMG_1395edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWT7k9pdSysJuk3zqySAXJZaxw6wIdVWbG4bcLMqWOqVw9fnMQvKIZZZOh-SoeWnWniEkLPp0uJbIfIvJ6eULtxm8xBUN7pdl6ofu38s1g0L2Tl_njZe9bN7O4pI3ezAxucH9qetD5Ak1_/s320/IMG_1395edit.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My dad has been one of my biggest supporters of school ever since I was little. Although my mom was our teacher, my dad was always so supportive of whatever we were doing in school, and that didn't change once I started college. Although I do enjoy school, I do have my moments of meltdowns, and even through those, my dad has always been encouraging and supportive. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy5wYkuiBAA2MrFcRAsAEUd9g-e9AOoJBui6WIr8Fsks1FrktvKOkUIF7k_CSm1_sxcg9GgOtmtvLHAZC8jb2TjiFa5sJZtvWIzf40uP4tZjzN0lOBHjoGvPP1FTi08p4fIn_ioN5Ek1E3/s1600/IMG_1383edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy5wYkuiBAA2MrFcRAsAEUd9g-e9AOoJBui6WIr8Fsks1FrktvKOkUIF7k_CSm1_sxcg9GgOtmtvLHAZC8jb2TjiFa5sJZtvWIzf40uP4tZjzN0lOBHjoGvPP1FTi08p4fIn_ioN5Ek1E3/s320/IMG_1383edit.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also don’t think I could have made it through without my brother, Justin. He tutored me through all of my statistics classes, and proof read each and every major paper that I turned in! He was my biggest cheerleader, and I know he will continue on being my biggest cheerleader throughout my grad school experience. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi28MdXKQuiKOz_PCuDqlgJtbWRYFPabli15VMOyCimZxxl6xyI6aIAVepYC3GNYv9OwJ-mgXrDT_p81G9eBmKEmw2R936NLyXoB3SVt5lgrM0SIzW41JvKWu2kmGY_CW8D1zRftzViN9l_/s1600/IMG_1367edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi28MdXKQuiKOz_PCuDqlgJtbWRYFPabli15VMOyCimZxxl6xyI6aIAVepYC3GNYv9OwJ-mgXrDT_p81G9eBmKEmw2R936NLyXoB3SVt5lgrM0SIzW41JvKWu2kmGY_CW8D1zRftzViN9l_/s320/IMG_1367edit.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hadn't planned on actually going to the commencement ceremony, but my brother is the one who convinced me to go. I finally decided to walk not for myself, but for my family, because they were the driving force behind me. The actual walking experience was actually a lot of fun. Although I </span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7000007629395px; white-space: pre-wrap;">didn't</span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> know anyone beforehand, we spent plenty of time in the line up together, and it was a good experience to visit with the other graduates in line! It was nice to have the accomplishment of finishing college recognized. </span></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wish that my Pop Pop could have been here to see me graduate. Since he was older and not very tech savvy, he had trouble grasping the concept of an online education, but he tried! He always asked me how my “computer studies” were going. There </span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7000007629395px; white-space: pre-wrap;">wasn't</span><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> a time that I talked to him that he didn't not only ask how my “computer studies” were going, but he always made sure to let me know how proud of me he was and all that I was accomplishing.Pop Pop was so invested in what I was doing in school that at any point in each semester Pop Pop could not only tell you what classes I was taking, but what my current grade in each class was! The very last time I talked to Pop Pop on the phone which happened to be the night that he passed away was not any different. I called to check in with him, and it happened to be the night before my summer classes were to start. While we were on the phone he told me how proud he was of me, wished me good luck, and told me how he knew that I was going to do so well. </span></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that if it had been possible for Nanny to be at the commencement ceremony this weekend she absolutely would have been there with bells on! Unfortunately, Nanny would not have been able to make the three hour trip up there plus all of the walking that would have had to have been done. Thankfully we have technology on our side, so Nanny was able to watch a video that my mom took of me being announced, recognized for my honors, and actually walking across the stage!</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nanny has always been an encourager to me, and for that I am truly thankful. She has been nothing but supportive of me through my whole college experience. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am so lucky to have a husband who is willing to do whatever it takes to help me reach my goals of helping people through grief counseling. Even though we are young, he has always supported me in my school desires, and for that I am truly blessed. He is completely on board and doing all that is possible for the next step in the process- graduate school. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEeEpN6mb07vd_9ZpdqtzW5caxHsVKFNN3MIyEf4Q1qXL2hU2MIsb_FJ5oY8poJaPr31FgUg0-q2dXsLv22ClPAtnALVJhyQEQn0us4c2FLk_XeIJNKS5OtkhZVGyaE10HwYIk4hsrJIDD/s1600/IMG_1343.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEeEpN6mb07vd_9ZpdqtzW5caxHsVKFNN3MIyEf4Q1qXL2hU2MIsb_FJ5oY8poJaPr31FgUg0-q2dXsLv22ClPAtnALVJhyQEQn0us4c2FLk_XeIJNKS5OtkhZVGyaE10HwYIk4hsrJIDD/s320/IMG_1343.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you to everyone who supported me during my journey to my bachelor’s degree. Although I am not going to pursue a master’s degree right now, I feel certain that I will be doing so in the near future. I know that it won’t be easy, but with the amazing amount of love and support that I have, I know that I will be successful at whatever I put my mind to. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaD8uNitNFihyphenhyphenw177K81JI9ECgxhRKuZA6pXcblu5xT4sqG_z85kO4ui2jhEtEstRKHdL2UBX1K66Kgwp_WGal4F_ZSofXTHfUvabXRqyBjJlMTnoMuqHB55T05tdqgGHVLAwHW_VvbsOI/s1600/IMG_1381.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaD8uNitNFihyphenhyphenw177K81JI9ECgxhRKuZA6pXcblu5xT4sqG_z85kO4ui2jhEtEstRKHdL2UBX1K66Kgwp_WGal4F_ZSofXTHfUvabXRqyBjJlMTnoMuqHB55T05tdqgGHVLAwHW_VvbsOI/s320/IMG_1381.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcTojCol-lzV7k_RbhMKW5BRBJkjBn5Muj9UrK8xnR5jGZwc23FR3KDLyq8TKTj3WkdBUwZyRl5vsVQpCGoHWn9SjAXJM2yj7jx8GaZ9o6X6jmq7IuV3DEkc0QhffYHho_Kjfb0XCmNmMp/s1600/IMG_1471.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcTojCol-lzV7k_RbhMKW5BRBJkjBn5Muj9UrK8xnR5jGZwc23FR3KDLyq8TKTj3WkdBUwZyRl5vsVQpCGoHWn9SjAXJM2yj7jx8GaZ9o6X6jmq7IuV3DEkc0QhffYHho_Kjfb0XCmNmMp/s320/IMG_1471.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.38; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-53510041843747566342015-03-23T15:05:00.000-07:002015-03-23T15:05:05.865-07:00A Blast From The Past <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few nights ago after Ellie had gone to bed, my mom and I were watching television and doing some Facebooking while Tanner was still at work. My mom ran across a local listing for a 1985 new in box Cabbage Patch doll. I was interested mainly because it was a Cabbage Patch doll. When I was a little girl my parents took me to The General Nursery in Georgia where I adopted my very own Cabbage Patch doll from Mother Cabbage. It was one of my favorite baby dolls. </span></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-2e7d2d5a-484c-7959-74b7-16381bfc2c02" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we corresponded with the seller of the doll I started to do some looking into this particular Cabbage Patch baby doll when I realized that it was not just any Cabbage Patch doll, but it was a special edition March of Dimes preemie Cabbage Patch baby doll. When I realized that this doll was so very special, I just knew that we needed to have it for Ellie. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We do not refer to Ellie as a preemie (or more specifically a micro preemie) anymore, but, she once was a little preemie so this is part of her story and will always be a part of her and I thought it would be fun</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">for her to have a special</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">preemie Cabbage Patch baby doll. Although this baby doll had been packaged nicely, never opened or out of the box, and not touched for 30 years, as soon as we got home Ellie and I got into the box and pulled her out! Tanner thought that we should leave her in the box as an “investment,” but Ellie and I wanted to open her up and give this little Cabbage Patch preemie some love.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHeTPdGob7QKmTw2dy2iRsNC2qEs2Xe0OuyurTKCw3pNGc15wKfzi6poBb0okrW2N-DDiehB-OiQNk5Mtc4SAkeP02meJTiTRuYaM2O85_uEgsLbThx4nA5duTR7sOTsPWYWp2p6cLpFEn/s1600/IMG_9543.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHeTPdGob7QKmTw2dy2iRsNC2qEs2Xe0OuyurTKCw3pNGc15wKfzi6poBb0okrW2N-DDiehB-OiQNk5Mtc4SAkeP02meJTiTRuYaM2O85_uEgsLbThx4nA5duTR7sOTsPWYWp2p6cLpFEn/s1600/IMG_9543.JPG" height="320" width="213" /></span></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tucked inside the box with “Lorelei” was an envelope of adoption papers as well as a pamphlet from the March of Dimes titled “What is a Preemie.”</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although this was written thirty years ago, it managed to tug at my heart strings and make me cry. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The pamphlet talked about the “legend” of the Cabbage Patch Preemies as well as talked about what a preemie is. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsOGkO3y52snoZTxUnrOtbwBl3E4BN5u5jMDXBcGy5xVPROVeF8w6sQmrWtGj60o-ZMH6HzIb1FRCVQFpNYdGJpVUaw1mSWZ_lE15s7yAgL-6MdKhHzh9r6t-Ck-DZ3PwYa5a_Mfl7hD_j/s1600/SCAN0265edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsOGkO3y52snoZTxUnrOtbwBl3E4BN5u5jMDXBcGy5xVPROVeF8w6sQmrWtGj60o-ZMH6HzIb1FRCVQFpNYdGJpVUaw1mSWZ_lE15s7yAgL-6MdKhHzh9r6t-Ck-DZ3PwYa5a_Mfl7hD_j/s1600/SCAN0265edit.jpg" height="274" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of my favorite parts of the pamphlet was this:</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> “Preemies are smaller than other Cabbage Patch Kids because they’ve been adopted at an earlier age. But besides that, they’re perfect in every way. With lots of love and care, your new baby Preemie will always be happy and healthy. “</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When full term babies are born, one of the most common things to say to the new parents is that their new baby is “perfect.” When Ellie was born, we heard many very nice things, but there were very few people that ever said that she was perfect. All babies are perfect, even if they are born early. I truly believe this. Both of my babies, Robby and Ellie, were/are perfect. Premature babies are absolutely perfect, and I love that this pamphlet made it very clear that although the baby was small and early, it is still perfect. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH6CTzECI_m-heElb8yoArnimjn-hQ2cB6_op7YDOtri-NuvoPSVZW6Wrxe5nYIEHSsacLgDq5DcZny41cn_7PeE0f0LawTnCSHlEm98JgOEaLUY-lgaD9LR0li-kKrIs8VWShhYoYpp0l/s1600/IMG_9597.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH6CTzECI_m-heElb8yoArnimjn-hQ2cB6_op7YDOtri-NuvoPSVZW6Wrxe5nYIEHSsacLgDq5DcZny41cn_7PeE0f0LawTnCSHlEm98JgOEaLUY-lgaD9LR0li-kKrIs8VWShhYoYpp0l/s1600/IMG_9597.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I tried to find some more information about the partnership between the Cabbage Patch dolls and March of Dimes, but I found very little on the subject. However, I did find that the reason that the March of Dimes wanted to partner with Cabbage Patch Dolls was to make sure that nobody thought they were making being a preemie into a lesser deal than what it is. There can be a fine line between shedding light on something so serious as a premature birth, and making it into something that appears it to seem like not a big deal. I think that the pamphlet that went in with the dolls was a perfect touch to help spread awareness about premature birth. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Premature birth is something that is very real to my family. It has affected us in the most powerful ways. There have been so many advances that have been made in premature birth prevention since 1985, yet there is still so much more to learn. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every several months I see a certain image make its way around Facebook. I have seen friends as well as family members post this. The thing about Facebook is that even though information posted might not be true, it still can spread like a wildfire. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx86EovalRyr56-B1oMvrgvRVH-MZDIjxQVo01sQfamKQLdv5xTi_gvXImZfNEqj4LRHtn2KhAJTwZhW_Bjw_yTQLstvKsJeIN68EZd79WuAozYgvWJxCrU7dg_DXuCD7kbNtqdFQ0gTuR/s1600/MOD+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx86EovalRyr56-B1oMvrgvRVH-MZDIjxQVo01sQfamKQLdv5xTi_gvXImZfNEqj4LRHtn2KhAJTwZhW_Bjw_yTQLstvKsJeIN68EZd79WuAozYgvWJxCrU7dg_DXuCD7kbNtqdFQ0gTuR/s1600/MOD+poster.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146000480651839; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes my heart sad that there are people out there who would stop giving to certain charities such as The March of Dimes because of an inaccurate poster like this. Although I do wish that more money could be going specifically to research for the March of Dimes, the fact is that these places do need funded, and not all of donation money can go directly to research. If it weren't for the funding and research, then Ellie might not be alive, and there certainly would not be any hope for a preterm labor solution.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146000480651839; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Click <a href="http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?%20bay=search.summary&orgid=4045#.U4td_fldVF8" target="_blank">HERE</a> to see an excellent rundown of where all of the March of Dimes money goes.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 1.61460004806518; white-space: pre-wrap;">The March of Dimes is responsible for the technology and </span><span style="line-height: 25.8336009979248px; white-space: pre-wrap;">advancements</span><span style="line-height: 1.61460004806518; white-space: pre-wrap;"> that saved Ellie’s life, and it is my hope that with more research funded by donations, they can continue to make even more advancements so that more babies can be saved. Although so many babies are saved and healthy, there are still so many babies, like Robby, who just could not be saved. The March of Dimes funds research that will hopefully find the cause of premature labor.</span></span></span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOznwgWEmCfH_mMt3fsQhSUf43nKlWiNI1NnY9usKzhdB3Y7Cn1Ec4wcXf_W70BE6_bd1IHkSl4lyaO-1hISOWazc4F_RMA8m35obx2r_a6KX9zQ37zDTnbQpCTMov_kp5kq8KKiIzhL9M/s1600/modposter2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOznwgWEmCfH_mMt3fsQhSUf43nKlWiNI1NnY9usKzhdB3Y7Cn1Ec4wcXf_W70BE6_bd1IHkSl4lyaO-1hISOWazc4F_RMA8m35obx2r_a6KX9zQ37zDTnbQpCTMov_kp5kq8KKiIzhL9M/s1600/modposter2.jpg" height="304" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146000480651839; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have not ever actually participated in our local March for Babies, but it is something that I am passionate about and plan to do someday. Since Ellie was born, we have had several people walk in Ellie’s honor to raise money for the March of Dimes! We are so thankful to those friends and family members who did something special in Ellie’s honor! This year we are focused on Project Robby, so we didn’t feel like this was the year to start a team for March for Babies. I am positive that at some point in the future we will put a team together and walk. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> For more information on Project Robby please click <a href="http://rememberingrobby.blogspot.com/2015/03/project-robby-phase-2.html" target="_blank">HERE</a> </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although we do not have a team set up, I have a dear friend who does. One of the first connections I made with a fellow loss mother after Robby’s death was Karin who lost her little boy, Nathaniel a few months before we lost Robby. Each year they have a team that walks in honor of Nathaniel. Please consider donating to Team Nathaniel this year as they hope to raise $10,000.00 in his honor. Click <a href="https://www.marchforbabies.org/march/s_team_page.asp?SeId=2237248&si=&mfb2015=1&PersonId=" target="_blank">HERE</a> to donate to Team Nathaniel.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkP9wAqOJ8QYDn0TtgWtDdn48wPaN0d56bbv-_RaJrJ49bxMkeW4rkA7fa0hW3DHcgM-9VlYQpMgzmOqddtcqiuQje7w5TCSYixwisMvdkVwJz8Aimb8tWu5p2uP6G-npFLElYpbJ1np7Y/s1600/NATHANIEL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkP9wAqOJ8QYDn0TtgWtDdn48wPaN0d56bbv-_RaJrJ49bxMkeW4rkA7fa0hW3DHcgM-9VlYQpMgzmOqddtcqiuQje7w5TCSYixwisMvdkVwJz8Aimb8tWu5p2uP6G-npFLElYpbJ1np7Y/s1600/NATHANIEL.jpg" height="320" width="319" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
<br /><br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-81254416767013685882015-03-04T14:38:00.002-08:002022-04-08T11:20:01.934-07:00Project Robby: Phase 2<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We have decided on the next project to pursue for Project Robby! We have had so many people ask us what is next for Project Robby as well as wondering if we are still accepting donations. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our original goal for Project Robby was to donate 50 hats and 50 blankets to the hospital where Robby was born. It is our desire to keep Project Robby going. We want to do whatever we can to help families who are having to endure one of the hardest things, the loss of a child.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After Robby was born and passed away there were so many things for our family to think about and to do. We had to plan a funeral, pick out a casket as well as a headstone. We also had to think about flowers for his tiny casket. During this time, it didn’t ever occur to any of us that we should be taking pictures. What didn’t dawn on me during this whirlwind of grief was that if we didn’t take pictures of his perfect little features, we would never see them again. Other than being able to have Robby here with us, one of my biggest wishes is that we had pictures of him during the 2 hours of his life and even right after his death. We didn’t realize at the time that the pictures that we took on our phone would be the only pieces of physical evidence that Robby existed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> We have spent some time thinking about how to make that process a little bit lighter for families who are going through the same thing.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have mentioned before the foundation Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Photographers volunteer through NILMDTS to offer free photos of a baby who either has already passed away or is going to pass away.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Unfortunately, we did not have this option in 2012 when Robby was born. However, there are now two photographers in Wichita in addition to another one who is within driving distance!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now, for the announcement of our project!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We want to help provide the photographers who volunteer to give these families these precious pictures with tiny hats and blankets to photograph the babies in and then leave with the parents. This way, the parents who have just suffered the loss of their baby will not only have the tiny hat and blanket that were on their baby but they will also have photographs of their beloved little one wearing these precious hats and blankets. Although the hospital where we donated, Via Christi St. Joseph, is well stocked with itty bitty hats and blankets, there are so many other hospitals that don't have the very small sizes for the extremely premature babies.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By providing these photographers with tiny hats and blankets we can make sure that even if the hospital where their child was born does not have a small enough size hat and blanket for them, they still have the opportunity to have something special for their child. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have been in contact with our area coordinator of Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, Heartland Photography, and she is excited about this project. She was thrilled at the thought of having some very small sizes for the extremely premature babies.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I asked her what the smallest gestation of baby that she has photographed, she said that so far 18 weeks is the smallest. We definitely had hats in our first phase that would fit an 18 week gestation baby! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On the NILMDTS website they recommend that 25 weeks gestation is about the youngest that the photographers that volunteer through them should photograph because of the undefined features of the babies born before that gestation. Looking at that statement from a photography standpoint, I understand what they mean. However, I was so glad to hear that the area coordinator from our area does take pictures of younger babies. I know that Robby’s features weren’t well defined. I realize that his skin was still slightly transparent and that his eyes were still fused shut. However, he was my baby, and to me he was perfect. I wish every single day that I could see those beautiful features of his again, even though they weren’t all well defined yet. I will do my best to advocate for the earlier gestation babies to be photographed because as the mother of a 23 week gestation baby- I long for pictures of Robby’s short time here on earth.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-bd2ea016-e69f-1082-59a7-575b0b83c48a" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was because of all of the love and generous donations of tiny hats and blankets that the last phase of Project Robby was such a success. We would love for you to be apart of this next phase of Project Robby!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our mailing address is:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Amanda Smith</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">P.0 Box 783</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Goddard, KS 67052</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here is a link to our Facebook page: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/rememberingrobby2012" target="_blank">Click here to go to our Facebook page</a></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.6146; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;"><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-81599513843494193542015-02-24T15:15:00.000-08:002015-02-24T15:15:25.838-08:00Robby's Legacy <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Three years ago today I gave birth to the most beautiful little boy. Each year since Robby’s birth I have published a blog on his birthday. I am realizing that it is becoming harder and harder to figure out what to say in Robby’s birthday blog. We don’t have any new pictures or stories about him because he isn’t here. All of our memories with Robby are just that, memories that are forever in the past. In Robby’s first birthday blog I talked about my favorite memories with him, in last years birthday blog, I talked about my grief journey. Although my grief journey is always continuing, it just didn’t seem right to blog about it again this year. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-265f61b3-bdb9-d79a-1677-7307045d3022" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, that brings us to this year, Robby’s third birthday. I should be able to talk about how much he has grown. I should be able to talk about how he loves trucks, planes, and trains. I should be able to talk about the silly things that come out of his mouth. I should be able to talk about how much like his daddy he his. However, that isn’t our reality. Our reality is that when I picked out balloons for the cemetery this year I stood in front of the balloon selection at the party store in tears because I’m having to guess what my baby boy might be into this year on his third birthday. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, what can I talk about? Well, this year I am able to blog about what is being done in Robby’s memory, or as one of my dear friends worded it- Robby’s legacy. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Back in July we put out a request for donations of tiny hats and blankets for the hospital where Robby was born. When I wrote the blog, our goal was 50 tiny hats and 50 blankets. We were absolutely amazed that the blog post was shared so many times, and that we had such a huge response to our request for tiny hats and blankets. Each time I went to check the post office box I was just overwhelmed with how many people out there cared enough to send hats and blankets for us to donate. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I want to thank each and every person who shared our project, made and or bought hats and blankets for our donation, and prayed for us. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such loving, caring and giving people. I wish I had the words to express how much it is going to mean to so many families who deliver and have an infant loss at Via Christi St. Joseph who receive these hats and blankets. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I realize that it was not an easy task for those of you that donated hats and blankets to do so knowing that the baby that would be using the items that you donated would not survive. It most certainly is not a happy circumstance to think about, but it will be so very appreciated by the families who receive your donations. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">These donations will bring comfort to these families, and since there were so many donations, it should not be a problem to give more than one hat to each family. Let me explain what I mean here: </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Three years ago, after I had labored for several days and then went through the birthing process, we held, cradled, rocked, hugged and kissed Robby for the 2 hours that he was alive. We then held him a little bit longer after he had passed away, but eventually the time came when he had to leave our arms. When it was time for the nurse to take Robby away so that he could be transported to the funeral home, it was the hardest thing I had ever done. The nurse who was there saw how hard it was and went to get another hat. She took the little blue hat off of Robby’s tiny little head and replaced it with the second hat. She then handed me the hat that had been on Robby’s head. I was able to keep the hat that he wore while he was alive, and he was still able to wear a hat to the funeral home. It doesn’t seem like much, but to a mother who has just gone through the heartbreak of saying hello and goodbye to their baby, it means a lot. I was able to hold onto Robby’s little blue hat that he wore, which was like being able to hold onto a piece of him.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I blogged about the donation that we were planning to make I never realized how many people would end up sharing and sending hats and blankets to us! We started this project in July with the intention of donating to Via Christi St. Joseph at the end of the year- December 2014. Since we ended up with such an amazing response, we decided to take a little bit of extra time and donate closer to Robby’s birthday, and I am so glad that we did. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The month of February is a really difficult month for me, but things get especially hard once the 20th hits, since it was the day that I went into labor- it was the beginning of the end. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tanner and I decided to make the donation on February 20th, so that we had something positive to look forward to on that day. Tanner, my mom, Ellie and I went through each hat and blanket to sort them into categories and put a Project Robby tag on each and every one of them. I’m sure you can imagine how much “help” Ellie was during this process! She enjoyed taking the tags that I put a sticker on to MiMi so that they could then be attached to hats and blankets. She also enjoyed “helping” us sort the hats and blankets into categories. Although it might have been easier and faster to finish this process without her help, I’m so glad that she did help.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgONgXDSt7iJKZNeG47oSJ5dQ3FnAINd_c5Krvorr2DGEDb_mUHi7PmakNqmQ1LCUIjkPmKbxdFSEVl_DvCrsY3S7vdMFWBDAkQ3TTwyri7tou8syH1NLm_Hk8LH7BTQimXrvOAvnPsUp_S/s1600/1908177_1525184847763930_6796521994699319487_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgONgXDSt7iJKZNeG47oSJ5dQ3FnAINd_c5Krvorr2DGEDb_mUHi7PmakNqmQ1LCUIjkPmKbxdFSEVl_DvCrsY3S7vdMFWBDAkQ3TTwyri7tou8syH1NLm_Hk8LH7BTQimXrvOAvnPsUp_S/s1600/1908177_1525184847763930_6796521994699319487_n.jpg" height="117" width="200" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">During the process of sorting and tagging, I became very attached to all of the hats and blankets, but especially to the box of 400 itty bitty hats. I didn’t actually realize how attached I had become to them until we arrived at the hospital and I opened it up to show the nurse. During the time that we went through and tagged these hats I would sit there and imagine how they would have looked on Robby and which one I would have picked out for him if we had the choice when he was born. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjncI4tbEXxWIrIu8vY1meCkMJ6rs0y28ewjkNAtu0tHyg0e7zYar0vxDS2TbcJ3W3t1ZB8o3DG0YKmEekIsmB2D-3cX5wAgDKzuYVNBDMo6I8tcbLJG_rsmW9EXiaXXPWqAqY-TPj0q8R/s1600/IMG_8810.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjncI4tbEXxWIrIu8vY1meCkMJ6rs0y28ewjkNAtu0tHyg0e7zYar0vxDS2TbcJ3W3t1ZB8o3DG0YKmEekIsmB2D-3cX5wAgDKzuYVNBDMo6I8tcbLJG_rsmW9EXiaXXPWqAqY-TPj0q8R/s1600/IMG_8810.JPG" height="133" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZkZJe0Q3SQMX2_0-wQsXb9oeQRsxBrKzLPa4KTpmaT3aFqqfIsYSTgcbXn1JCz6IosLMtdWt0xZL5uSKU9po2FSNGU5xz8X_G2z4hV86uPQrGDfbUMO3oBcyyKNrFJZJRRyeY1GApqb5/s1600/IMG_8816.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikZkZJe0Q3SQMX2_0-wQsXb9oeQRsxBrKzLPa4KTpmaT3aFqqfIsYSTgcbXn1JCz6IosLMtdWt0xZL5uSKU9po2FSNGU5xz8X_G2z4hV86uPQrGDfbUMO3oBcyyKNrFJZJRRyeY1GApqb5/s1600/IMG_8816.JPG" height="133" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxFN2zuw07bYTffS3BPpz9M1gzQXN6U0OM_tjzXusCs4A4JmMuHVAb7iKdefy614HPBVRTgVUZTGi78lgpc81uqccDH8K5BYmdCEznnkULaKutaACTY-NjWQRNkl1oojmaqICcBug52-_V/s1600/IMG_8811.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxFN2zuw07bYTffS3BPpz9M1gzQXN6U0OM_tjzXusCs4A4JmMuHVAb7iKdefy614HPBVRTgVUZTGi78lgpc81uqccDH8K5BYmdCEznnkULaKutaACTY-NjWQRNkl1oojmaqICcBug52-_V/s1600/IMG_8811.JPG" height="200" width="133" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tanner, my mom, and I took thirteen containers full of hats and blankets to donate to Via Christi St. Joseph, the hospital where Robby was born. In those thirteen containers there were:</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">400 itty bitty hats, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">243 small hats, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">145 medium hats, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">57 large hats (newborn sized) and </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">275 blankets</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGXZdhWbN-WN7LbooMZhZjUoPNbxsFyt6pakD2IUr9wR08iHQKSeloS4zuXCvK5yFe_alYKewXOe7DEq5vzr0ATrcFC2-opqSbQqkzT4lBuK3nQbXPggJ7g0e4FZnB8al5OmeelBvQpAao/s1600/11016980_1539092326373182_785995323565287940_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGXZdhWbN-WN7LbooMZhZjUoPNbxsFyt6pakD2IUr9wR08iHQKSeloS4zuXCvK5yFe_alYKewXOe7DEq5vzr0ATrcFC2-opqSbQqkzT4lBuK3nQbXPggJ7g0e4FZnB8al5OmeelBvQpAao/s1600/11016980_1539092326373182_785995323565287940_n.jpg" height="133" width="200" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The nurse at St. Joseph who took our donation, Laury, worked at Via Christi St. Teressa three years ago, and was one of my nurses. On February 20, 2012 she was one of two nurses who loaded me up onto the ambulance to send me to Via Christi St. Joseph because I was in premature labor with Robby. It was an emotional day to not only be back at the hospital where Robby was born, but to see one of the nurses who not only took care of me but also remembered us and what had happened. Laury was so touched at how many hats and blankets were sent, and therefore able to be donated. She just kept saying over and over how much it was going to mean to so many families to have these special hats and blankets. She assured us that (unfortunately) there is truly a need for each and every size of hat that we donated.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWgKzx3w5ux-N81aTuGNl0B302-adVzMkwGc_pH5BpE3-ICC3Gf3FHVND1VZBWsOugBxBkjsKWViXpLytCLJ7-vfJIx6OIMtUcVCUJf_a8-snXHbZVdtwp-na4bcOnoB86ReY-KkZE3oEj/s1600/IMG_8819edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWgKzx3w5ux-N81aTuGNl0B302-adVzMkwGc_pH5BpE3-ICC3Gf3FHVND1VZBWsOugBxBkjsKWViXpLytCLJ7-vfJIx6OIMtUcVCUJf_a8-snXHbZVdtwp-na4bcOnoB86ReY-KkZE3oEj/s1600/IMG_8819edit.jpg" height="137" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeaK5OfbdKUdj9qBGDISOJ3VNyK5qcdR4mNImW7eHcn9B4nbVXsjEtkBgrmszjiUwjFOT4tguHyE7XXgfiq1AECBRrwzhwZr86_TPHNpp7uLQttZhvfvT7N6ZC04ay1dIpWsL5WeCEAbd-/s1600/IMG_8818edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeaK5OfbdKUdj9qBGDISOJ3VNyK5qcdR4mNImW7eHcn9B4nbVXsjEtkBgrmszjiUwjFOT4tguHyE7XXgfiq1AECBRrwzhwZr86_TPHNpp7uLQttZhvfvT7N6ZC04ay1dIpWsL5WeCEAbd-/s1600/IMG_8818edit.jpg" height="148" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> In August when I first went to visit Laury about Project Robby, she took me into the room of hats and blankets for the labor and delivery floor. She showed me that they now have some memory boxes for the babies who do not make it, and let me know that they really were trying to gather up resources for the families who lose a baby. She was so excited that we were going to donate tiny hats because she said that so many people don’t understand just how tiny these hats need to be. She was so pleased to see so many little hats! I asked Laury how many hats they would go through in a month, and she said that it is difficult to put a number on it, but just in the past week (that we donated) there had been three losses. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDd1e1VRYPHuqmVvO19Jkkx3HoqIxleJPuSbRfAQ9vizuA30hyphenhyphenj_dlpa7xOzCzUCz-a_lB0PSqxhSV_0LFK_u99-ZMi3c7d0gepbcRvgkdeGFPOmZUGJx3EeU88EOpNB3TKqjaGOTQERTl/s1600/IMG_8814edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDd1e1VRYPHuqmVvO19Jkkx3HoqIxleJPuSbRfAQ9vizuA30hyphenhyphenj_dlpa7xOzCzUCz-a_lB0PSqxhSV_0LFK_u99-ZMi3c7d0gepbcRvgkdeGFPOmZUGJx3EeU88EOpNB3TKqjaGOTQERTl/s1600/IMG_8814edit.jpg" height="162" width="200" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I went to visit Laury back in August, there were not any Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Photographers in our area who would be able to take pictures for families of babies who did not survive. When I went back to make our donation I was able to take a list of three different NILMDTS photographers for her to share with the families with losses. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Having Project Robby to focus on was a wonderful thing for me to have as we approached Robby’s third birthday. Another thing that has helped me is being able to pick out decorations for Robby’s grave. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Bz7yt_41m9um6W8LXSJeYljOsfzzG7VljqCbkLdxEQaefqrTMk4xyn_Oa-Ec_FYFtZ4um162bEMHLgOIJLP_F0yzdJOO4wJm1-Pt7bH8_yNrxVG3ZMOQmuYnJMlhhXrOcNL_oLvR8x6F/s1600/IMG_8876.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Bz7yt_41m9um6W8LXSJeYljOsfzzG7VljqCbkLdxEQaefqrTMk4xyn_Oa-Ec_FYFtZ4um162bEMHLgOIJLP_F0yzdJOO4wJm1-Pt7bH8_yNrxVG3ZMOQmuYnJMlhhXrOcNL_oLvR8x6F/s1600/IMG_8876.JPG" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is the first year that Robby has had a vase at the cemetery, so we were able to do a little bit more decorating than we have done in the past. A couple months ago I started picking up stuff at Hobby Lobby to decorate Robby’s grave for his birthday. As odd as it is, it is actually somewhat comforting to be able to pick stuff up with Robby in mind. It was fun to have Ellie’s help this year picking out things to decorate with. Ellie doesn’t enjoy going to Hobby Lobby very much, but she did enjoy picking out a new car to leave for Robby. We have been working on colors with Ellie, so when we were at Target with her, we took her down the car aisle and asked her which car she wanted to take to Robby for his birthday. She finally settled on a blue car. When we got home she insisted on taking it out of the packaging to “hold it” for Robby. When we went to visit Robby for his birthday, she left it for him without a problem. Ellie also enjoyed picking out balloons, but I think her favorite part was sprinkling confetti around his grave. We picked out Cars birthday confetti, and she loved being able to throw it around! </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBwCA9OIRr1YrD5CZIkCKvCLLoymbLtofxgHcPZxdipe8xZqXpd_Kowlony8bhSR6NEb9zC845tIZtcj2GqXRY0OET8sA4vKdCiZG_tmQcqw8DB9AOcllam1kdrQJzgP9YD0WmBZiKcH1M/s1600/IMG_8854.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBwCA9OIRr1YrD5CZIkCKvCLLoymbLtofxgHcPZxdipe8xZqXpd_Kowlony8bhSR6NEb9zC845tIZtcj2GqXRY0OET8sA4vKdCiZG_tmQcqw8DB9AOcllam1kdrQJzgP9YD0WmBZiKcH1M/s1600/IMG_8854.JPG" height="133" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyRtOal1eJS8cFGv5aSKdwnzMOBsp2RpLT-vqGyQ6zMyA9HRMS6Ut2DH_YBZAcAMO17TTKRD498QjqHWXu9i0Iw_HhGKF8qgT3ZhU_HwL-bovrCAzmXK6E8YZDFrmmgTlZp4YJ6kwL_LIu/s1600/IMG_8857.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyRtOal1eJS8cFGv5aSKdwnzMOBsp2RpLT-vqGyQ6zMyA9HRMS6Ut2DH_YBZAcAMO17TTKRD498QjqHWXu9i0Iw_HhGKF8qgT3ZhU_HwL-bovrCAzmXK6E8YZDFrmmgTlZp4YJ6kwL_LIu/s1600/IMG_8857.JPG" height="133" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfm4HI3c4YhITVJkbe3ce3QLJPe7lvG9rgb6xTuv2f0hpD0RKGfUQYo0QS6hH9G2OL9JpiCDfF8its9dk-47JDxERu4ttP0hbMKSgm2etf1w6YrM6NRdDzW8vmfCtO-gOzHBxCbFwO9Lo7/s1600/IMG_8868.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfm4HI3c4YhITVJkbe3ce3QLJPe7lvG9rgb6xTuv2f0hpD0RKGfUQYo0QS6hH9G2OL9JpiCDfF8its9dk-47JDxERu4ttP0hbMKSgm2etf1w6YrM6NRdDzW8vmfCtO-gOzHBxCbFwO9Lo7/s1600/IMG_8868.JPG" height="133" width="200" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have had several people ask if we would be continuing on with Project Robby, and although I’m not exactly sure what is next for Project Robby, I know that we will be continuing. I want Robby’s life to have an impact, even though it was short. As soon as we decide on the next phase of Project Robby, I will make sure to update everyone!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you again, from the bottom of our hearts, to everyone who helped make Project Robby such a success <3 </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoYkeIlIr6FJJIwp8i1jdLFAE3MOaAaoVO0SI4vhySEUMc2ly_f21BLULSNGqI2FBNLHcUag7Wtlqq7CHEfFfz5pnpDCy8pjk11pq6GNsrega1-KpZzhqs1DyFWP0Ib6KRHxURC81UzCci/s1600/IMG_8959edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoYkeIlIr6FJJIwp8i1jdLFAE3MOaAaoVO0SI4vhySEUMc2ly_f21BLULSNGqI2FBNLHcUag7Wtlqq7CHEfFfz5pnpDCy8pjk11pq6GNsrega1-KpZzhqs1DyFWP0Ib6KRHxURC81UzCci/s1600/IMG_8959edit.jpg" height="200" width="146" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Dph6GTBlQUjRRV17lXkEhbJq7bUFyH_dmUUPT9USxSyBmvhGYiqxbA4PRnbJsP64aZsdqpDvd0j8-ge_tl1nAdlSaXoZgU7hIRPx71odIOhn60HgjMXh-0Yq7KJrLxjarlGsSoPek2Ne/s1600/IMG_8964edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Dph6GTBlQUjRRV17lXkEhbJq7bUFyH_dmUUPT9USxSyBmvhGYiqxbA4PRnbJsP64aZsdqpDvd0j8-ge_tl1nAdlSaXoZgU7hIRPx71odIOhn60HgjMXh-0Yq7KJrLxjarlGsSoPek2Ne/s1600/IMG_8964edit.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh41ap7SH-QDLF4P-ukOEbREXIzwZ2nD0OqBb05-LdcaWceF7gnRj8uUtIIUtzcz0KgUijqFke9HM_fS4pcnzU_rsa0fb-0miUp6PuAlT1j6hIlxy8cS-x4jGSxb04p6OJ9h_t-9ZV6wkbg/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh41ap7SH-QDLF4P-ukOEbREXIzwZ2nD0OqBb05-LdcaWceF7gnRj8uUtIIUtzcz0KgUijqFke9HM_fS4pcnzU_rsa0fb-0miUp6PuAlT1j6hIlxy8cS-x4jGSxb04p6OJ9h_t-9ZV6wkbg/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage.jpg" height="106" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ellie's pictures with our Robby Bear <a href="http://www.mollybears.com/" target="_blank">(Molly Bear)</a> from Robby's first, second, and third birthday</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-73719542113140473152014-12-31T17:29:00.000-08:002014-12-31T17:29:58.489-08:00Our Year In Review<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is hard to believe that yet another year has passed us by. I remember when I was little it seemed as if a year lasted forever, but as I get older the time just seems to fly by, especially now that I have Ellie. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-fa7a77d3-a2dd-5f4e-19f4-9c9b235af782" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The year 2014 has brought some good times, but it has also brought our family some very sad times as well. On Facebook, each time I log in it tries to get me to publish my “year in review.” Although it is a cute idea, I just could not get my year in review to truly portray how our year went, so I decided to blog our “year in review” instead. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">January </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The year 2014 started out very quiet, which to us is a very nice way to start out the year! The big news of this month was that Ellie finally had enough hair for her first hair bow! Ellie was doing a lot of walking and exploring. Looking back at these pictures she looks so very tiny compared to what she is now. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2KqwgfX-WXC-TmMB2uhDWZUYyp6UW9sH6M42RY2Wa_CdtfkCnPgqYfWgzpPlyl90NcgJOqoGpAhBWPCo9ug0GRtaKmt-JWWyM8MCGJgw_WcYs4La5Fmhi_Rz065Imq0sdS3CleTuTvrq4/s1600/JanuaryBlog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2KqwgfX-WXC-TmMB2uhDWZUYyp6UW9sH6M42RY2Wa_CdtfkCnPgqYfWgzpPlyl90NcgJOqoGpAhBWPCo9ug0GRtaKmt-JWWyM8MCGJgw_WcYs4La5Fmhi_Rz065Imq0sdS3CleTuTvrq4/s1600/JanuaryBlog.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">February- March</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I finally made the appointment with the fertility clinic to move forward with plans for a gestational carrier. The appointment ended up going a completely different way than expected, and the doctor suggested a surgery that could help me to carry a baby closer to term. Tanner and I decided to think about it, pray about it, and get opinions from some of my other doctors to see if they would all be on board with this surgery and plan for me to carry a baby. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">F</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ebruary also brought Robby’s second birthday/angelversary. This year since the weather was nice we were able to take Ellie out for a trip to the cemetery. She absolutely loved being there, and as we were getting ready to leave, our little girl who at the time was not talking much waved and said “bye” to Robby as we left. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This month was also Ellie’s first zoo visit. It is safe to say that Ellie is very much like her Mama and MiMi in the sense that she does not care too much for the zoo! We ended up going only a handful of times!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS5DVT-hdOO5EgIodws0hbvtR7yAPsj4iAc54tMSrFs9_rHI25GR50wNYxaTJa3hcoOYr2GAmxje0YrM_pRcb9RDLih8e_wA-PU4JcmPcFGJ996_s9enqAZa6UQH2PCKpXDJBHReZO2wLq/s1600/Feburary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS5DVT-hdOO5EgIodws0hbvtR7yAPsj4iAc54tMSrFs9_rHI25GR50wNYxaTJa3hcoOYr2GAmxje0YrM_pRcb9RDLih8e_wA-PU4JcmPcFGJ996_s9enqAZa6UQH2PCKpXDJBHReZO2wLq/s1600/Feburary.jpg" height="100" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">April </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On April 15, we celebrated “Ellie Day!” Ellie day is her half birthday, and therefore we celebrate her that day! She turned 18 months old and my goodness she certainly loved (and still does love)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to be outside!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ellie enjoyed Easter very much! Ellie loves candy, so she was very happy to know that the Easter Bunny left her some sugary treats! She also enjoyed looking for her sparkly eggs that the Easter Bunny left in her yard!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlkLUNVEZJxaJRADYan_WxtCJvpSBsobXo8SNtqMJEHgLUY7mY_qy3pe35dePMVAtYVnadP98rrvAGuNuqL4wKOFp1VG1EM_Wf424UdqU0-dBPq-1JuqADgCBSo1sMBlvZsDsRRWhG6CGj/s1600/collageapril.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlkLUNVEZJxaJRADYan_WxtCJvpSBsobXo8SNtqMJEHgLUY7mY_qy3pe35dePMVAtYVnadP98rrvAGuNuqL4wKOFp1VG1EM_Wf424UdqU0-dBPq-1JuqADgCBSo1sMBlvZsDsRRWhG6CGj/s1600/collageapril.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">May </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">May was a busy month in our household! Ellie had her first fever since she was in the hospital after she was born. Luckily, her fever was only due to teething, but it certainly was sad to watch her not feel well!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is the month that my precious little girl discovered her love for Hello Kitty. Yes, this was quite the proud mama moment for me! She still loves Hello Kitty! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After a lot of thought, prayer, and input from different doctors, Tanner and I made the decision for me to have the surgery in order to carry another child. It was an intense decision for me and Tanner to make, but at the end of May I had the surgery done to have a transabdominal cerclage placed. You can read more about the appointment with the fertility doctor <a href="http://rememberingrobby.blogspot.com/2014/05/in-december-2013-i-called-fertility.html" target="_blank">here</a></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimxt_O8Ox8wOa1o6eEWYrWSSTC45nbcaXOYj62NN7YAMGWmyLFjsc2mVakPkY_b8l2dEgEnK8Vzuxo1tMA5Vx5KFBHGDGucqI3WYKTYzKUej0xaZlYCTPiLWOLclXCeJDjmhp_0L4HrvqY/s1600/collagemay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimxt_O8Ox8wOa1o6eEWYrWSSTC45nbcaXOYj62NN7YAMGWmyLFjsc2mVakPkY_b8l2dEgEnK8Vzuxo1tMA5Vx5KFBHGDGucqI3WYKTYzKUej0xaZlYCTPiLWOLclXCeJDjmhp_0L4HrvqY/s1600/collagemay.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">June</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This was an extremely hard month in our household because we lost someone who was very special to us.My grandfather, Pop Pop, passed away on June 3. It was very sudden and unexpected because he had been doing so well. Pop-Pop is the person who Robby (Robert) was named after. Pop Pop was such a special person to my mom, dad, brother, Tanner, Ellie, and me. It has been really hard not having Pop Pop here with us. His birthday, Thanksgiving, Father’s Day, Grandparents Day, Christmas, and every other day in between brings heartache for us as we miss him so very much. When Robby died it was as if I felt empty, and when Pop Pop died, I felt the same way, empty and lost. I am so sad that Ellie will not have any memories with Pop Pop, but I know that Pop Pop and Robby are together watching over us and sending us their love. Because of this unexpected event, the month of June was spent making arrangements for Pop Pop’s funeral as well as going through his personal items and getting his affairs in order. It was a very emotional time for us, especially my mom. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The glimmer of happiness in the month of June was that we had a very special visit from some very special people. Pat, her husband Jim, Barbie, and her husband Sam came over for a visit! Pat is Ellie’s “blankie maker,” and as I have mentioned before, Ellie is quite the blankie girl! It was so exciting for me and Ellie to meet Pat, Jim, Barbie, and Sam not only because Ellie loves blankie so much, but because they have been huge supporters of Ellie from day one!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year Tanner and I made a very big, and a very personal decision to legally change our last name. We went through the court to legally change his, mine, and Ellie’s last names to my maiden name after a lot of thought and consideration. We did not want Robby to be left out of our new family name, so we changed his headstone to reflect our new name. I was not happy with Robby’s original stone when it was placed back in 2012 because it was not right and not what we had ordered. When we changed our name we also changed his headstone and we were also able to make his stone a little bit larger and add a vase! We learned this year that Ellie loves to be at the cemetery, but I will have a blog that is devoted to that topic later this year. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXpOt7iTx-B9YbUhp59AzxvEwznex_2i-xiE4FYePCMImCPF1kNofFG7WYTdYBeY-zWJNd2cKMpz1Rjk3BpSlxfkiGmv31c8GONrI2AMtsCJw91sss6h8W04VFcfEjXwlRtD18LY1l88L0/s1600/collagejune.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXpOt7iTx-B9YbUhp59AzxvEwznex_2i-xiE4FYePCMImCPF1kNofFG7WYTdYBeY-zWJNd2cKMpz1Rjk3BpSlxfkiGmv31c8GONrI2AMtsCJw91sss6h8W04VFcfEjXwlRtD18LY1l88L0/s1600/collagejune.jpg" height="100" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">July </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In July we started the month off by celebrating the 4th of July. Ellie did not care for the fireworks, but she did enjoy the “poppers” that you can throw on the ground! She had so much fun with those! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since June had been such a heart wrenching month, my mom and I decided we just needed to get away for awhile, so we made a short trip to Branson, Missouri! It was a fun trip for us, and it was nice to get away! While we were on this trip Ellie had two big milestones! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First, she was able to swim in her first "big" pool and she loved it! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The second “milestone” is that Ellie got her ears pierced! She did great!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">July was also the month that we had our very first (of many to come) playdate with my dear friend Ariel, and her daughter Briar. Ariel and I met when we were on swim team together, and we were best friends in high school. Ariel is the person who introduced me and Tanner. After high school we drifted apart, but we still remained part of each others lives. Ellie and Briar were actually born only four days apart from each other. I think that it was fate that our girls were born literally days apart. Briar and Ellie have become best friends, and Ariel and I have been able to reconnect, which makes my heart so very happy. The past three years I have lost most of my friends. From my health issues, to Robby’s death, to being a homebody during my pregnancy with Ellie, to having Ellie in the NICU for so long, to being in isolation during the long months of flu and RSV season, not many friends have stuck around- and I can’t blame them! I am so thankful for the ones that have hung in there with me and I am so thankful for Ariel’s friendship because I know that I am not an easy person to be friends with a lot of the time because of things that I have not yet discussed here on this blog. However, I am now ready and I do plan to expand upon this in the coming year!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd2gMJzF7MS2gHkmEgrM6rnQwYax1IYWfHXrbqL1voiOjjQo0Djcz1BHMvRly5fQuHIM_DgHkBVaYdnaokzHiBW4RwPc3rGpUF31JID4DUFosANscsvKhm5lh4KFs0TIN2T1e1S_nx8Xtf/s1600/collagejuly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd2gMJzF7MS2gHkmEgrM6rnQwYax1IYWfHXrbqL1voiOjjQo0Djcz1BHMvRly5fQuHIM_DgHkBVaYdnaokzHiBW4RwPc3rGpUF31JID4DUFosANscsvKhm5lh4KFs0TIN2T1e1S_nx8Xtf/s1600/collagejuly.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">August</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In August we decided to take another quick trip out of town to visit my Aunt Kimme and Uncle Warren in Texas! We had so much fun while we were there! We shopped, swam, and Ellie was able to meet her cousin, Micah! It was a wonderful trip!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In last years blog I mentioned that in the year 2014 Tanner and I wanted to do something to honor Robby. We decided after a lot of thought that we wanted to collect tiny hats and tiny blankets to donate to the hospital where Robby was born in his honor. To read more about this project <a href="http://rememberingrobby.blogspot.com/2014/08/in-robbys-honor.html" target="_blank">Click Here</a>. Project Robby has produced more hats and blankets than we ever imagined. We have not posted our final count or made our donation yet, but plan to do so by the end of January or early February 2015! </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuYBvJvAMrapJ1cgntewz2Me1vwzdM8YtEnSCN4CfBEwp2TthoWirqvhv37E5lfyVV3EtW-y7-dxGWHnkn_ywy5h-IinvhtCYrtY4es0TBamIikX8HpvAfp2x7I9GF92aN0uiGW8uVzsmE/s1600/collageaugust.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuYBvJvAMrapJ1cgntewz2Me1vwzdM8YtEnSCN4CfBEwp2TthoWirqvhv37E5lfyVV3EtW-y7-dxGWHnkn_ywy5h-IinvhtCYrtY4es0TBamIikX8HpvAfp2x7I9GF92aN0uiGW8uVzsmE/s1600/collageaugust.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">September</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ellie not only discovered My Little Pony, but she fell in love with My Little Pony! I had been planning a Winnie the Pooh themed second birthday party for her, but when we went to the party store, she insisted on My Little Pony!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ellie got her very first haircut in September from one of our very good friends, Megan. Ellie wasn’t too sure about it, but she did very well while Megan cut her hair! We are so very thankful for such a good friend who will make house visits to do our hair!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh5F2l8xwKB6gSVyxVDET1XR0gdyPl69jriKp1AhWJgVPkWf10tpddSbzt709gLwC7gQ_M96rpYbVZANye45VDXpHr5C_k30wJfRsK9h2seT9ZsO9yYpmVhhUtgzZxniOONdYQOH5y03dH/s1600/collageNEWSEPT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh5F2l8xwKB6gSVyxVDET1XR0gdyPl69jriKp1AhWJgVPkWf10tpddSbzt709gLwC7gQ_M96rpYbVZANye45VDXpHr5C_k30wJfRsK9h2seT9ZsO9yYpmVhhUtgzZxniOONdYQOH5y03dH/s1600/collageNEWSEPT.jpg" height="320" width="214" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">October</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year, Ellie turned two. I just can not even believe how quickly she is growing up! She amazes us every single day, and I just love her so very much. Ellie wakes up running and does not slow down until she crashes into bed at the end of the day. She is developmentally right on track, and although she is still on the small side, her size is just fine.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was very difficult to get Ellie’s 2 year pictures because she is very stubborn and moving all of the time! She had a great second birthday party with close friends and family, and of course, the theme was My Little Pony!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year although we continue to be extremely careful, we are not in isolation like previous years! This is very difficult for us because using extreme caution has just become our “normal.” This year we got out in the stores, but if we heard too much coughing or sniffing, we would leave the store we were in. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ellie loved Halloween, because she absolutely loves candy! This year, Ellie dressed up as Pebbles Flintstone! Tanner and I thought it would be fun to make it a family costume event and dress up as well, so we dressed up as Fred and Wilma!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">During October Ellie got sick for the first time since she has been home. Ellie ran a fever and had a runny nose, but the good news is that it was very short and she was fine. It was a hard couple of days, but Ellie did great. Thank goodness!</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My mom and I stumbled across someone selling puppies one day shortly after Ellie's birthday, and I ended up going home with one as my graduation present from my mom! It had been almost a year since Barbie died, and I was really feeling the urge to have a new puppy. Latte is a toy poodle, and has quickly become part of our family. At the same time that we brought Latte home, my dad brought home some kitties! Their mother died when they were only a couple of weeks old, and he rescued them! One of the kitties now lives with my aunt in Texas, and the other two live with us! It is like a circus here in the Smith house! My mom likes to say: “4 adults, 3 dogs, 2 kittens, 1 energetic toddler, and a partridge in a pear tree!”</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6uGMGFIbo3pogC86Ekzuv-eV-pBAwMWiyYK5CReH1DLADIxITHdnCIcalQResXLDDOf2eFpS59oO_MC5zDTXvfmJZvi3_D4h-jHFwKYr26v5i4gool73NZA4IU-TAfj-XWL_xERHoZOBC/s1600/collageoctober2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6uGMGFIbo3pogC86Ekzuv-eV-pBAwMWiyYK5CReH1DLADIxITHdnCIcalQResXLDDOf2eFpS59oO_MC5zDTXvfmJZvi3_D4h-jHFwKYr26v5i4gool73NZA4IU-TAfj-XWL_xERHoZOBC/s1600/collageoctober2.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">November</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In November we moved my grandmother (Nanny) from one retirement home to another! The one that she lives at now is much closer to us, and we have really enjoyed being able to see her more often! </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTjNXw0rWZ_eDcfJeuwrKVB98kscsEqHWi-ONX2ex0EXyTq6Grb2wv74cKDBGFmZFGGWVRqNGwUroOlnJQGvR5H9Bqu5MlqlOz_t9LFdUVju1A4Mgmgf1BIayzMY8qVeb0q8aRfLRmFCiu/s1600/collagenovember2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTjNXw0rWZ_eDcfJeuwrKVB98kscsEqHWi-ONX2ex0EXyTq6Grb2wv74cKDBGFmZFGGWVRqNGwUroOlnJQGvR5H9Bqu5MlqlOz_t9LFdUVju1A4Mgmgf1BIayzMY8qVeb0q8aRfLRmFCiu/s1600/collagenovember2.jpg" height="100" width="400" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">December </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> We celebrated Ellie’s “Coming Home Day.” I think that this will always be an important day to us because it is the day our dream came true. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Christmas was so much fun this year! Ellie loved opening presents and playing with all of the new, fun toys that she received! She had a personal visit from Santa, and after we bribed her with M&M’s she finally sat in his lap and smiled for some pictures! Christmas day truly was wonderful! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I graduated from Fort Hays State University with a bachelor of science in Psychology. Due to many life altering obstacles, finishing college was a rough road but I did it, and I am glad that I pushed through. I plan to write a blog in the coming months about my college experience and what I learned during my time in college. However, I want to take this opportunity to thank my family for supporting me during my years in college. It was not easy, and I certainly could not have done it without their love and support. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaxw_omcbVlaROHI0OLXdskncYEumzGrEA_fJxBRHxvlZ81wrW8mJ6nn2AQAJGOr5WL35ZqIhHoZke46Tg7KB3ZFG7nAh7KheTzaN7bW1Z8i_ownEScRHSXrMbDW7-LnWM7G1n2ttZzD7/s1600/collageNEWDECEMBER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaxw_omcbVlaROHI0OLXdskncYEumzGrEA_fJxBRHxvlZ81wrW8mJ6nn2AQAJGOr5WL35ZqIhHoZke46Tg7KB3ZFG7nAh7KheTzaN7bW1Z8i_ownEScRHSXrMbDW7-LnWM7G1n2ttZzD7/s1600/collageNEWDECEMBER.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the end of each Facebook “year in review” it says “It’s been a great year!” Well, I would be lying if I said that it has been a great year. This year has had some great, wonderful, joyful moments, but along with those happy times, our family went through some very trying, sad, and tragic times as well. I have learned that most years are not going to be completely great, because sad and tragic things happen in life. A new year is coming quickly, and with this new year, Tanner and I have some hopes, dreams, and goals for 2015.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First, in last years end of the year blog I mentioned scripture memory. Well, to be completely honest, I managed to do well for the first couple of months, but then I stopped. Between school, a toddler, a husband, and life events it just got pushed to the side. So, this year I am going to try again! I am going to pick out my two verses each month and try again to commit myself to memorizing scripture. I also hope to spend more time this year in prayer and do a lot more Bible reading. Click <a href="http://amysmusings82.blogspot.com/2013/12/my-sword-2014.html" target="_blank">here</a> to read more! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Second, Tanner and I hope that at some point this year I will get pregnant. As exciting as it is to think about the possibility of being able to carry another baby (hopefully much closer to term), it is also so very frightening. This is where the scripture memorization and prayer will especially help me. Pregnancy is wonderful, but for me, it is also very scary. Although we hope that my TAC will be successful, there is still a good chance that we will have another premature birth. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Third, we are going to continue with Project Robby this year. We have not made our donation to Via Christi St. Joseph Hospital yet, but we will be doing that soon! It has been really good for me to have Project Robby. I have enjoyed it so much that you can plan on hearing more about donations and projects to help out other grieving families through Project Robby! Click <a href="https://www.facebook.com/rememberingrobby2012" target="_blank">here</a> to join the Project Robby Facebook page. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fourth, I am planning to do more blogging this year! I have several different blogs planned out in my head, and I am excited to share more of my life with all of those who are reading! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year has been a busy year full of excitement, changes, and sadness. Tanner and I are so lucky to have such an amazing family that loves and supports us! We had some big decisions to make this year, and we are so lucky to have family that will support us in whatever we decide to do! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">With each new year comes excitement for a new start, as well as sadness for another year that has passed us by so quickly. Here is to a new year! I wish for you all a year of love, health and happiness! </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Happy New Year, from our family to yours! </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbKmReC0O6jj5cKgdvYx_Wiao1yOxpIwMGzZm07D5y76NCP_D01ybvRhz5bmtXqU1ctNX-gNzNgnKjL1fk-bsgw8SBiat1ak51opmiemgf31JpzJlTGhicWZRO2bnCxySvCb17P2XCCZb2/s1600/newyarfam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbKmReC0O6jj5cKgdvYx_Wiao1yOxpIwMGzZm07D5y76NCP_D01ybvRhz5bmtXqU1ctNX-gNzNgnKjL1fk-bsgw8SBiat1ak51opmiemgf31JpzJlTGhicWZRO2bnCxySvCb17P2XCCZb2/s1600/newyarfam.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-57546385720329397432014-10-28T19:43:00.000-07:002014-10-28T20:43:28.697-07:00Sharing The Month: Breaking The Silence <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I received a message from one of my best friends asking me if I have Time Hop on my phone. Well, unfortunately I do not! This friend of mine told me that according to her Time Hop, seven years ago we were making t shirts together, but not just any t shirts, “Save the Ta-Ta’s” t shirts.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirAVuIoJ0Oth6H72DfvBNkLRSH1rDcq883uulC6qqsXUI_HW5dhWeVP7OBZy2zQx9CX9p5nN8ovXDJVmWeQRvjSga2ClR7wYb3qeH9AKrHWU-g4I4E7z-WdosGigapFxJY0w13wKHg7Djz/s1600/savethetatas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirAVuIoJ0Oth6H72DfvBNkLRSH1rDcq883uulC6qqsXUI_HW5dhWeVP7OBZy2zQx9CX9p5nN8ovXDJVmWeQRvjSga2ClR7wYb3qeH9AKrHWU-g4I4E7z-WdosGigapFxJY0w13wKHg7Djz/s1600/savethetatas.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I looked at those pictures I realized that "back then" the month of October meant two things to me: Halloween and Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It was such a big deal that I decided to join in on the awareness and make a fun t shirt with my best friend.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 1.34550004005432; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wow! How things have changed!</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 1.34550004005432; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like I did seven years ago, most people think of October as Breast Cancer Awareness Month. My grandmother and great grandmother both battled breast cancer, so I am absolutely for finding a cure for breast cancer. However, October has become something more for me.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">October is not only Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. October came to have a whole new meaning to me when infant loss became personal with our loss of Robby.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the years the “silence” has been broken about breast cancer awareness. Everyone has heard some of the hundreds of fun sayings like:</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Save the TaTa’s” </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Save Second Base” </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Yes, these are fake, my real ones tried to kill me.”</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men, women, and children will all wear these shirts, join in on fun runs, and are active in supporting breast cancer awareness.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 in 8 women are affected by breast cancer. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 in 4 women are affected by pregnancy and infant loss.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is my hope that someday our society will be able to break the silence. We know that it can be done! Look at how far breast cancer awareness has come. It does not bother most people to talk about saving the “ta ta’s,” so why should it bother people to talk about pregnancy and infant loss.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We don’t have any clever sayings to help, just our plea. Please remember our babies this month. The babies who were loved, but never seen, the babies who were born sleeping into this world, the babies who were born but never got to go home, and the babies that went home but did not get to stay.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.34550004005432; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 8pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While saving the boobies this month please take a minute to help raise awareness for the babies. 1 in 4 women are affected by this, so chances are you know someone who has been affected by pregnancy or infant loss.</span></span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-a81e3b48-598b-2b10-bf46-f43b211cafae"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you have not already heard about Project Robby, click <a href="http://rememberingrobby.blogspot.com/2014/08/in-robbys-honor.html" target="_blank">here</a> to learn more. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Part of our mission with Project Robby is to break the silence about pregnancy and infant loss by giving grieving families something special to hold onto <3 </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEquxVFGqMpqh9Kht7t1FTe6zv9lmamBQnsZbGA1oRk3iPEiQTNjXnTD3Syh68kC_DvbnarhPBX5-neoYBpVYMgg2kricWZ8TSSb6QHaLgYTrVFUhef-odrsv34AKBqhjj3VWE8DDk08W4/s1600/boobiesbabies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEquxVFGqMpqh9Kht7t1FTe6zv9lmamBQnsZbGA1oRk3iPEiQTNjXnTD3Syh68kC_DvbnarhPBX5-neoYBpVYMgg2kricWZ8TSSb6QHaLgYTrVFUhef-odrsv34AKBqhjj3VWE8DDk08W4/s1600/boobiesbabies.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-73439076073727730362014-10-15T06:59:00.001-07:002014-10-15T07:01:58.629-07:00Ellie Is Two<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Two years ago today, our sweet little Ellie was born. She made quite the entrance into this world as a micro-preemie at 14 weeks early and gave us a big scare. For the longest time we wondered if she would live, but not only did she live, she is thriving and continues to amaze us each and every day. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-17ae50b9-13d3-08d0-383f-f3ebcda8b955" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This past year Ellie’s personality has really blossomed. She truly is her very own little person with her own opinions, likes, dislikes, and wants. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, for Ellie’s birthday blog this year, I am going to tell you about Ellie and her personality.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is a blankie lover!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> After Ellie was born, a very dear friend of ours (Pat) sent her a special handmade blanket. Over the past two years Ellie has become extremely attached to it, and loves it very much! She loving calls it her “Bee Bee” and the smaller version that Pat made for her is “Moo Moo” because we were calling it mini blankie. She will not go to sleep unless she has both ‘Bee Bee’ and “Moo Moo.”</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEpBOU46atESLvwEy-xQDPiQIVkaFRmXLF_7S7Xg1Bs8F5FUWD-Vgvdqhoe-Z6wmjGT6-fkGWz41E7gQUSulI4VXc6K-M6w-Evs5Kq1kbgefS4hkdnToUS6XIcJtmx4rXBd4_yLfz6DB4H/s1600/collageblankie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEpBOU46atESLvwEy-xQDPiQIVkaFRmXLF_7S7Xg1Bs8F5FUWD-Vgvdqhoe-Z6wmjGT6-fkGWz41E7gQUSulI4VXc6K-M6w-Evs5Kq1kbgefS4hkdnToUS6XIcJtmx4rXBd4_yLfz6DB4H/s1600/collageblankie.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is rotten! </b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> After we found out that Ellie was a girl, my grandfather (Pop Pop) would say, “She is going to be so rotten that you will be able to smell her coming!” Well, he was absolutely right! Ellie is in fact extremely spoiled. She has four adults in this house (five on weekends since my brother spends a lot of time here) and we all tend to her every wish and desire, dote on her, adore her, and she certainly does know it! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTIudzAZg2d47mR_vhjpXBbznVET-FuUigls0AFaYnh0ZSlaQDFlH8lEwlaAryfF206aUlJO89RchlB-gS3gW1gxslFdIzUv96DQ-Y7ogXT_B7mZn7j90DPh81dpWoLMDvScX9Naoz_YYD/s1600/collagerotten.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTIudzAZg2d47mR_vhjpXBbznVET-FuUigls0AFaYnh0ZSlaQDFlH8lEwlaAryfF206aUlJO89RchlB-gS3gW1gxslFdIzUv96DQ-Y7ogXT_B7mZn7j90DPh81dpWoLMDvScX9Naoz_YYD/s1600/collagerotten.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is a giggle box!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ellie’s laugh is contagious! She doesn't just giggle, she has a full on belly laugh! When she gets going she just can’t stop! She loves being tickled, and will laugh and when we stop she will raise her arms and say “tickle tickle” or “more!”</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPD_x_RJc02AXg8ZEEL9RbMmXR7TP1xWMBGajiChDJGk-yxdKW_59uW3XQtIA2i2XYMQE3C3OA3IAqVIOIVJnAeBE6hhX8B8s9qYVXbbShZvzDHZ0CV-tPqe3ywg2FIQgWJqJw3Jp-4ZmS/s1600/collagegigglebox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPD_x_RJc02AXg8ZEEL9RbMmXR7TP1xWMBGajiChDJGk-yxdKW_59uW3XQtIA2i2XYMQE3C3OA3IAqVIOIVJnAeBE6hhX8B8s9qYVXbbShZvzDHZ0CV-tPqe3ywg2FIQgWJqJw3Jp-4ZmS/s1600/collagegigglebox.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is dramatic!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Yes, she does indeed have a flair for the dramatics! One of Ellie’s “tricks” is that when we ask to see her pout lip, she can give it to us on the spot! Here are the stories behind the pictures below: </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*She wanted to go outside instead of to bed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*She didn’t want her “BeeBee” washed even though she had “Moo Moo” with her.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*We wouldn’t let her draw on the sofa.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and the in the last picture </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">*She is crying because we went to the zoo!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzKBIOqUNYDC3n9hxwp43NS-2ZcmgRGxY34dMiqJHiWlGgdwnzQwVKCUBdq9WIyGXrxSmGZyzV9uWiDkph94DazSVG-NgFVuj7KrT4YqmZmeg75ijmZ6MKyHvXhyphenhyphenhqCLwGU_Mbeyu_Su1T/s1600/collagedramatic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzKBIOqUNYDC3n9hxwp43NS-2ZcmgRGxY34dMiqJHiWlGgdwnzQwVKCUBdq9WIyGXrxSmGZyzV9uWiDkph94DazSVG-NgFVuj7KrT4YqmZmeg75ijmZ6MKyHvXhyphenhyphenhqCLwGU_Mbeyu_Su1T/s1600/collagedramatic.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is a girly girl!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ellie truly is a “mini me!” Ellie loves princesses, purses, tutus, shoes/boots, lipstick, bows, dresses, tiaras, sparkly and glittery everything, dolls, Hello Kitty, the colors pink and purple, bracelets, shopping, rings, and earrings. I have always imagined what it would be like to have a little girl, but Ellie is so much more fun than I ever imagined. When Ellie wakes up in the morning, the first thing out of her mouth is that she needs her “Nay Nay” which in Ellie language means necklace! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkhiOlhu69Vp__5nqzlSprOl7EDyEPbzw7GQJGwKqdZXB-YcM7ktGCDKqPWZY5N-DUz05qFAZX53KD7EWQAXpVs-TrASpklWIUZ_yBG38eog-9n9C8XfKTYKA9s2dyAvBrikEqGC7r8cY9/s1600/collagegirligirl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkhiOlhu69Vp__5nqzlSprOl7EDyEPbzw7GQJGwKqdZXB-YcM7ktGCDKqPWZY5N-DUz05qFAZX53KD7EWQAXpVs-TrASpklWIUZ_yBG38eog-9n9C8XfKTYKA9s2dyAvBrikEqGC7r8cY9/s1600/collagegirligirl.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is a little sister. </b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On October 15, 2011 I woke up and took a pregnancy test, which was positive. That was the day I found out that Tanner and I were expecting our first child, Robby. As many of you know, Robby was born at 23 weeks, and unfortunately did not survive. On October 15, 2012, exactly one year after I found out that I was pregnant with Robby, I woke up and as I was eating my second breakfast of the morning that consisted of a bagel, I went into labor, and that night Ellie was born. I absolutely believe that Robby has been watching over his little sister this whole time. This spring we realized that Ellie loves to spend time at the cemetery “visiting” Robby. Although Robby isn’t here with us physically, I know he is with us everyday watching his little sister.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIYLkzkBKIgcdl-4ryqyOiv-sMUqXB23_AtatQXeoxCE_gVjsk2C81gDT0Fq1tH68Ps3hk7oNoXzaz6HuApskXNfuKPKBlXxF0M207ha5M_5tjuFQqq6gTFJEU5IYnqnhM-LrKOe2XtIN/s1600/collagelittlesister.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIYLkzkBKIgcdl-4ryqyOiv-sMUqXB23_AtatQXeoxCE_gVjsk2C81gDT0Fq1tH68Ps3hk7oNoXzaz6HuApskXNfuKPKBlXxF0M207ha5M_5tjuFQqq6gTFJEU5IYnqnhM-LrKOe2XtIN/s1600/collagelittlesister.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is a miracle!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> When I look at Ellie, I see a miracle. Ellie was born so early, and she was so very sick after she was born. When I think back to the time when she had pneumonia in the NICU I just want to cry. She has overcome so much in her short two years, and I just thank God every single day for her. She can be extremely stubborn sometimes, but when it starts to get difficult to handle I remember that her stubbornness is part of what got her through the NICU. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi77774RvoljimK_PtTRKpgnzH8azKxzxhJYsmg5roso8isNw4YQdR6ZvYBlCPapRgmtY5Hvyube_zBsCkODqP6k9Cjhe-vvDJF_I0t5biMb5imXkpKfeEGIzuRArZEVQ1zRZ8hD5c4MaMX/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi77774RvoljimK_PtTRKpgnzH8azKxzxhJYsmg5roso8isNw4YQdR6ZvYBlCPapRgmtY5Hvyube_zBsCkODqP6k9Cjhe-vvDJF_I0t5biMb5imXkpKfeEGIzuRArZEVQ1zRZ8hD5c4MaMX/s1600/PicMonkey+Collage.jpg" height="106" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is opinionated!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ellie knows exactly what she wants. She knows what food she wants to eat, which clothes she wants to wear, and which toys she wants to get! Although I must admit that sometimes her having an opinion does make for some interesting outfit choices, I love that she is so opinionated and likes to think for herself!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoAxhFZDtXjcgbphEHsfaA7NTa8GXWHPXC4HvulbUzi7ylPwkNRWaCnFDNg9yfldIYGJlFMbk49CKVloBbHfXPb0Xfp6j_6EWaijAHHCFJmzSgt6VP5-a1eQc9298sKpWe_aCB56pL0FHM/s1600/collageopionated.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoAxhFZDtXjcgbphEHsfaA7NTa8GXWHPXC4HvulbUzi7ylPwkNRWaCnFDNg9yfldIYGJlFMbk49CKVloBbHfXPb0Xfp6j_6EWaijAHHCFJmzSgt6VP5-a1eQc9298sKpWe_aCB56pL0FHM/s1600/collageopionated.jpg" height="105" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is adventurous!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ellie has no fear! She is an absolute dare devil! She likes to stand up on her four wheeler while it is moving, she likes to climb anything and everything, and she loves to jump off of things! She will take off exploring our large backyard with Molly and you can tell she is confident and not afraid. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7U4-eMFcfH7whOttB3mDuK8bB8iG21YvK7Jzzj2DSRt-_r8juqzQ_DLqor_x3kAJPefq_-0tVH3WXy50fCbayafec-vHGd9bmEJVk4YVzus3gBFHKk-yNhKNOp0n1ZAY7W4WgCMz0-b6i/s1600/collageadv.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7U4-eMFcfH7whOttB3mDuK8bB8iG21YvK7Jzzj2DSRt-_r8juqzQ_DLqor_x3kAJPefq_-0tVH3WXy50fCbayafec-vHGd9bmEJVk4YVzus3gBFHKk-yNhKNOp0n1ZAY7W4WgCMz0-b6i/s1600/collageadv.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is blessed-!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After Ellie was born, my mom started a Facebook page called Loving Ellie. Two years later there are still so many people who check in on Ellie through this Facebook page. We update about once a month and add pictures about twice a month. These people prayed for her, loved her, and encouraged us through not only her NICU and hospital stay, but through these past two years. To all of our Loving Ellie followers, thank you. Thank you for praying for Ellie not just then, but now as well. Thank you for being apart of our lives and for loving Ellie! Ellie is very blessed to have so many people praying for her!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlguJs85OEtQVK7Wz90w2o4lgFRNXkAjSD9dqnRaIqST_eaJELrhgF0Qs2_v8UB8Owe_QsZFoPn9p22cw8P0yCwryXfrdrerWm4TvAxgXUMN41n24bNERIqV9adYElhIoGiU6S-ci4uaq-/s1600/collageblessed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlguJs85OEtQVK7Wz90w2o4lgFRNXkAjSD9dqnRaIqST_eaJELrhgF0Qs2_v8UB8Owe_QsZFoPn9p22cw8P0yCwryXfrdrerWm4TvAxgXUMN41n24bNERIqV9adYElhIoGiU6S-ci4uaq-/s1600/collageblessed.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is a friend!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ellie is a friend, not only to Molly, but to someone else as well. This summer Ellie started to have weekly play dates with a little girl, Briar. Briar’s mommy and I were best friends in high school, and luckily for us, Briar and Ellie picked each other to be best friends! The girls have really become comfortable playing together and it looks obvious to us that they actually enjoy playing together (and eating cheetos and drinking juice together) each week!</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJshr4jvLR6cG_9JyvhWzt4gjusy-LGALZ04o3sBrbhh6ADITgJdMoArfDxM_ht5ZqXYC6mhG7mh729FKNfamDYTQVKv2lP7xePy0DakNF89r9MqdYgBO-ZhHzk-pOTygKch5YRKk0rgP/s1600/collagebriar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJshr4jvLR6cG_9JyvhWzt4gjusy-LGALZ04o3sBrbhh6ADITgJdMoArfDxM_ht5ZqXYC6mhG7mh729FKNfamDYTQVKv2lP7xePy0DakNF89r9MqdYgBO-ZhHzk-pOTygKch5YRKk0rgP/s1600/collagebriar.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is artistic!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ellie loves art, especially if it is messy! Ellie loves to paint, use glitter glue, draw with markers (or “doodle” as Ellie says), and use lots of stickers! She colors or paints and stickers nearly every day. We all absolutely love to display our Ellie art! </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZcapxbHp6-r5xEq0KxEkuZ6XksWKt1TQP8W4kOLU0SNoIM_Q_hx3MdUWABlBAceG3qjoCRy-W-BcLsq2ryU_E_Hxwn0-b1iAPBXpdPgQJl8sPKchtYY7krfc2hvxeT-2W45A7-eYex4l/s1600/collageartist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZcapxbHp6-r5xEq0KxEkuZ6XksWKt1TQP8W4kOLU0SNoIM_Q_hx3MdUWABlBAceG3qjoCRy-W-BcLsq2ryU_E_Hxwn0-b1iAPBXpdPgQJl8sPKchtYY7krfc2hvxeT-2W45A7-eYex4l/s1600/collageartist.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is bossy! </b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We say that she gets this trait from Nanny! Ellie will tell everyone what to do! She directs everyone to where they will sit, and what toy they will play with! She calls the shots on what she wants you to eat and who it is that will get her juice out for her! She even tries to call the shots on when everyone is “done” eating supper at night! She will go around the table and point to each person and say, “done!”</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPN0-FMTRBq2XiNvASEpzKrWrTId5r0nrdrkxfnGC5Hcx1NYKDOE6xN3VAhUDtD2jLRYBjZgebYwVzK1nLm1RS0kiHeOUFzuhS9DMHErmwKjPmCOn7D5DYxQHoy-HyguuWnWnjzNa-Vc_4/s1600/collagebossy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPN0-FMTRBq2XiNvASEpzKrWrTId5r0nrdrkxfnGC5Hcx1NYKDOE6xN3VAhUDtD2jLRYBjZgebYwVzK1nLm1RS0kiHeOUFzuhS9DMHErmwKjPmCOn7D5DYxQHoy-HyguuWnWnjzNa-Vc_4/s1600/collagebossy.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is bashful!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Since Ellie was in isolation for so long, she really is not used to being around a lot of people all at once. While she was in the hospital, we could not really have many visitors, and once we got home, we had to be in isolation due to Ellie’s prematurity and chronic lung disease. During Ellie’s second RSV season, although we would allow people into the house to visit, we still had to be so very cautious, which meant that not very many people came. It really takes Ellie a lot of time to warm up to people before she will let her true personality show. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSwi_25vr8b5FWt6X-5CUDUqE_JZJH6STgKr8hJtfDsz_heY88gc1Na6DHmXLJvqHFu0aChBnmFR5d_sc4xNQf_EJdjagsNko72mCmI921dlNBMz1qBM3cyZDp0RK0eUYFdDh8N34h-Wyh/s1600/collagebashful.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSwi_25vr8b5FWt6X-5CUDUqE_JZJH6STgKr8hJtfDsz_heY88gc1Na6DHmXLJvqHFu0aChBnmFR5d_sc4xNQf_EJdjagsNko72mCmI921dlNBMz1qBM3cyZDp0RK0eUYFdDh8N34h-Wyh/s1600/collagebashful.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is full of love!</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ellie has the sweetest kisses, the tightest hugs, and the most precious little pats. It just melts my heart when she will just come up behind me when I am sitting in the sandbox and give me a great big bear hug! There are truly no sweeter words than when Ellie says, “uh ooo” (Ellie’s version of “love you”)unprompted!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gg7xbouZf3t2HeiD0PG0SbHF0veQLIELsjh48sJpkfVw5vpEu3Y44XFHUhJ_ZE_8gzUBHyCK9nNKG2h7lQ-x0aHBBD_nKwuLBiVBC1aN1WEq7yw0Ft_hxtNI2_NE1dAMXvuHn_E8FF3M/s1600/collagelove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gg7xbouZf3t2HeiD0PG0SbHF0veQLIELsjh48sJpkfVw5vpEu3Y44XFHUhJ_ZE_8gzUBHyCK9nNKG2h7lQ-x0aHBBD_nKwuLBiVBC1aN1WEq7yw0Ft_hxtNI2_NE1dAMXvuHn_E8FF3M/s1600/collagelove.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Ellie is perfect! </b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The night Ellie was born, when I looked at her for the very first time, I didn’t see the black bruising on her head, I saw perfection. When she was sick with pneumonia I didn’t see the swelling from retaining fluid, I saw perfection. When she was on oxygen I didn’t see the nasal cannula in her nose, I saw perfection. When I was told of her brain bleed and what complications could possibly come from it, it didn’t matter because I knew that no matter what she was perfect. When Ellie’s eyes were crossed because of ROP, I didn’t notice it because I saw perfection. When I look at the scars that are still on her chest and heels from surgery and blood draws, I see perfection. Ellie is perfect, absolutely, 100% perfect in every single way. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisY4ANfKsuukWr3nyB4qFiJtf5TSwPb3q0AaINt2qsgbSA2JGwR6RoJ2fMypAbxjnIm9UXhBW19mJAhydmR9ce7q8P5RfKE0BjUIxxg-kLaSgv5LPRq05wYEEtIwTRSmqV6xepWbL08oyj/s1600/collageperfect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisY4ANfKsuukWr3nyB4qFiJtf5TSwPb3q0AaINt2qsgbSA2JGwR6RoJ2fMypAbxjnIm9UXhBW19mJAhydmR9ce7q8P5RfKE0BjUIxxg-kLaSgv5LPRq05wYEEtIwTRSmqV6xepWbL08oyj/s1600/collageperfect.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everyone says that children grow up so fast and that time passes by so quickly. Although I have always known this, as I put Ellie to bed for the last time as a one year old, it really truly hit me that my sweet little baby is growing up, and it is happening very quickly. We only get one chance. One chance to enjoy and savor each and every moment of Ellie’s childhood because in the blink of an eye, another year has passed. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBVxjOm6Bs6QqV-K82zE214Dbudyf8i_lOk7vro_vWE0-HyRrLaZJKC1ajHDNOYfbCisfPlYlmRDbPuGxOV-Q-Sozr_dzXwgEfMqlQ3tKOVRu6PkhXodLfkaJ4GJO8cLuFuS1myFWYfP9w/s1600/IMG_0969.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBVxjOm6Bs6QqV-K82zE214Dbudyf8i_lOk7vro_vWE0-HyRrLaZJKC1ajHDNOYfbCisfPlYlmRDbPuGxOV-Q-Sozr_dzXwgEfMqlQ3tKOVRu6PkhXodLfkaJ4GJO8cLuFuS1myFWYfP9w/s1600/IMG_0969.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span id="docs-internal-guid-17ae50b9-1408-30b1-811c-974604df85d5"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"You will never have this day with your children again. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they were today. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This day is a gift. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just breathe, notice, study their faces, and little feet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Pay attention. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Relish the charms of the present.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Enjoy today- it will be over before you know it. "</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN2qRKnkgWRede2zv-aw16u1PRvrKpZfesQPEF5w38C46o0guJp8yoadP_UZlWuh9Rxug9tqhl8cmRKFIOJQTtxXoWD3GX7j8BySlSvEWF1DEp79xl3ixrZjyMe2qUKNSgTlxgbAcj-wnn/s1600/collagebirththru2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN2qRKnkgWRede2zv-aw16u1PRvrKpZfesQPEF5w38C46o0guJp8yoadP_UZlWuh9Rxug9tqhl8cmRKFIOJQTtxXoWD3GX7j8BySlSvEWF1DEp79xl3ixrZjyMe2qUKNSgTlxgbAcj-wnn/s1600/collagebirththru2.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-21962737191783221252014-08-03T15:38:00.000-07:002014-11-09T18:29:39.963-08:00In Robby's Honor<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have decided to share some very personal pictures of Robby in this blog. Two of the pictures I have not shared before, but due to the reasoning of this blog, I felt compelled to share them now. They were taken the day that we buried our sweet little boy. I realize that these photographs might be upsetting to some people, so for this reason I am making this disclaimer. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-49955a14-9a08-c614-7a5b-c07281ab4f83" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the beginning of this year, Tanner and I decided that we wanted to do something in honor of Robby. We weren't sure what or when, but we knew that this year we wanted to do something to recognize and honor the memory of our precious little Robby. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since Robby was born prematurely we considered doing the March for Babies here in Wichita in April, but with Ellie still being in isolation during that time, we decided that it would be best to try to honor Robby that way a different year. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Robert James Smith was born at 23 weeks, 0 days gestation. He was 1 pound 4.4 ounces and 12 inches long. He was a tiny little guy, but he certainly was perfect. </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoL7XOfGXYQBE1e-lTkMwMzybEAZiiIhy6HRbcPZRzb3T-wX96Dp3LaPipJ3hG8rVBDHp2Bqil1CRHPHDJ3jlHi2Rt4ZaTDxLqOI9EDONTwu2TE3Xsr3xIm85wEkvynK9S8E-t4B4E5D0P/s1600/PreciousRobby.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoL7XOfGXYQBE1e-lTkMwMzybEAZiiIhy6HRbcPZRzb3T-wX96Dp3LaPipJ3hG8rVBDHp2Bqil1CRHPHDJ3jlHi2Rt4ZaTDxLqOI9EDONTwu2TE3Xsr3xIm85wEkvynK9S8E-t4B4E5D0P/s1600/PreciousRobby.jpeg" height="256" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a picture of Robby during his two hours of life wearing his lovingly handmade pale blue hat. It was still too big for his small head but we were so very thankful for it. Whoever took the time to make it will never know how much we appreciate this tiny little hat.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We weren't prepared for Robby to be born so early. Although I was in the hospital for 5 days in labor, the thought did not ever occur to us to prepare for him to be born, and then die. It wasn't until my body made me start pushing that I realized that I was truly going to deliver my baby, only to hold him while he died. In the moments leading up to that I wasn't thinking about getting someone to bring our camera, and I wasn't thinking about how we did not have any tiny blankets, itty bitty clothes, or tiny hats that would fit our baby boy. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Luckily, the hospital where Robby was born , Via Christi St. Joseph, had an amazing staff of labor and delivery nurses. Every single nurse that I had was kind and caring. They did not ever tell me that I was nuts for trying to keep Robby inside of me as long as possible. They did everything that they could to help me be as comfortable as someone can be when in active labor for days on end. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I will not ever forget the nurses that I had leading up to Robby’s delivery, but I especially won’t forget the nurse that actually helped me deliver him. She was the nurse who wrapped him up and gave him to me to hold. She is the nurse who weighed him and look his length. She is the nurse who went out of her way to find a special hat for him that was small enough to somewhat fit his perfect little head. She was the nurse who I handed my baby boy over to when it was time for him to leave for the funeral home. She was the nurse who brought me warm chocolate chip cookies from the cafeteria the next day. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thanks to that special nurse, Robby had a small little hat that came as close as possible to fit him considering his very small size. It was a tiny, pale blue, hand crocheted hat that was obviously made with love. Although it was still very big on him, we thought it was perfect. When it was time for me to give Robby to her so that he could go to the funeral home, I wanted to send him with his little hat that looked so adorable on his sweet little head, but at the same time, I wanted to keep it. That nurse went back and found a second tiny little hat to put on Robby so that I could keep the one piece of clothing that my baby boy wore. It is the only physical piece of Robby that I was able to leave the hospital with.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have a bucket full of clothes and blankets at home that I had to pack up. These were clothes that I bought with the intention of Robby wearing someday, but that did not happen. Robby was born so quickly and unexpectedly that we did not have time to pick out a special blanket for him to be wrapped up in after he was born. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The blanket that Robby was wrapped up in was huge. Sadly, it was not a special blanket, or a soft blanket, or a cute blanket, it was just a plain and very standard hospital blanket. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before I continue on to the main reason for this blog, I would like to first make a plea, to all of my photographer friends out there, especially those here in Wichita. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Not only did we not have any tiny blankets for Robby, but we also did not have our camera. The only pictures of Robby that we have were taken on our phones. I love the pictures that we have of our perfect little boy, but I wish we had more and I wish they were of better quality. I wish I had pictures of his perfect tiny little features. Pictures are the only physical evidence that Robby ever existed. After Robby was born I learned about an organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Photographers volunteer to go take photos of babies who have been born too soon, or who were born sleeping. When I recently went to the website and searched for our area I realized that the closest photographer in our area is located in a city that is 80 miles away. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that this type of photography must be very hard for photographers to do, and I know that not everyone can handle it, but I ask that all of my friends who are photographers take a minute to consider submitting to this organization. You could be the person to give a grieving family something that they will treasure for the rest of their lives. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To apply to be a NILMDTS photographer go <a href="https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/volunteer/photographer-application/" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU3bfhGBwJHk47LDzLEZuJQy-zq5a9EUk8TUXnxR5Nbou7aApZiYSu1L5YE0y0EOeZ5equ2kgBK6py94oyIYwNAbaLSk2lt7DwrKlcSSBCKEB1nPrHbNubLn2evJ6oYoLdnCzagu519LXK/s1600/Robby.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU3bfhGBwJHk47LDzLEZuJQy-zq5a9EUk8TUXnxR5Nbou7aApZiYSu1L5YE0y0EOeZ5equ2kgBK6py94oyIYwNAbaLSk2lt7DwrKlcSSBCKEB1nPrHbNubLn2evJ6oYoLdnCzagu519LXK/s1600/Robby.JPG" height="216" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only family picture that we have with our baby boy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here is what my family would like to do in honor of Robby:</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We would like to collect 50 small hats and 50 small blankets to donate to the hospital where Robby was born in his honor and in his memory. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They can be any kind of blankets and any color! It can be a blanket that you crochet or knit. It can be a flannel or fleece blanket that you sew together. It can be any type of soft material that you would like it to be. If you are like me and can not sew or crochet, it can be a store bought blanket or even a small receiving blanket. What I did not realize before Ellie was born was that there are different sizes of receiving blankets. We had to buy the bigger size for Ellie’s mattress cover for her isolette while she was in the NICU, and if we brought in the smaller size, they were too small and did not fit. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI5I9DdkhFUY5-TFAPRtC_5eUkQqu6_x9eYRUrnifKwQvXnx6a7mDASCzsr9nsdYh_L_5OGiAM5lpow086XMF5r95TU3tj-vOXkCdGF0tv-BU7OeLb97Kj_UbFm7IZSHtD_ZhcGvdLNZ_6/s1600/IMG_8666.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI5I9DdkhFUY5-TFAPRtC_5eUkQqu6_x9eYRUrnifKwQvXnx6a7mDASCzsr9nsdYh_L_5OGiAM5lpow086XMF5r95TU3tj-vOXkCdGF0tv-BU7OeLb97Kj_UbFm7IZSHtD_ZhcGvdLNZ_6/s1600/IMG_8666.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHyFQBOFenvjCiEDKQhKQbp9uesXpUTpsBb2RAQGbVY-ihIDKxSCkhsk6Ainba7XpPEjIGhs6i0z8zql8qHqCZqQJ6xf2Gm8fpSZgNizs5M6-DLkPL2OBWPzA0u2wkpzHnWH8lL8opb7g8/s1600/IMG_8667.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHyFQBOFenvjCiEDKQhKQbp9uesXpUTpsBb2RAQGbVY-ihIDKxSCkhsk6Ainba7XpPEjIGhs6i0z8zql8qHqCZqQJ6xf2Gm8fpSZgNizs5M6-DLkPL2OBWPzA0u2wkpzHnWH8lL8opb7g8/s1600/IMG_8667.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I called the hospital to make sure that this type of donation would be okay, the nurse said that they do not have these types of donations very often. This made me so sad to hear, because it means that if it were not for some kind person who made that beautiful blue hat, I would not have it to hold on to. I want to make sure that other mothers and fathers of babies born too soon, or babies born sleeping have a special something to hold onto. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have set up an email address as well as a P.O. box that I will check regularly. I would like to meet our goal by the end of this year. I would like for other families to have a special blanket to wrap their babies in and I would like other families to have a hat that comes closer to fitting their baby who was born too soon. I would love to give families something personal to hold onto when they can no longer hold onto their baby. To be completely honest, for the first six months after Robby died I slept with his hat, and sometimes I still do. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Please help us honor Robby and his memory by sending either handmade or store bought blankets that are small or hats that are small enough to fit a tiny little head. Feel free to share this blog with anyone that you know. Please spread the word because we would love to meet our goal of 50 hats and 50 blankets. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTF0TNmEOaxabD8ckWup7v4FRsC7WHBxDn99ddEhSFTy17INldjL17h4LuaDqDrLObq-CoPwEGxQwt5gVzk12KskE0sXSQ-1_KZh3VPcAWhgu6nwC-BooOZpyDzIdOuDjC4GvcN6jCHBAz/s1600/PicMonkey+CollageRobby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTF0TNmEOaxabD8ckWup7v4FRsC7WHBxDn99ddEhSFTy17INldjL17h4LuaDqDrLObq-CoPwEGxQwt5gVzk12KskE0sXSQ-1_KZh3VPcAWhgu6nwC-BooOZpyDzIdOuDjC4GvcN6jCHBAz/s1600/PicMonkey+CollageRobby.jpg" height="160" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Robby wearing a preemie sized hat and a preemie sized sleeper. They swallowed him up. This is an outfit/hat/blanket that I had picked out but not yet purchased. We had planned to bring Robby home in it. My brother so very graciously and lovingly went and bought it for Robby so he could be buried in it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Measurements: Robby's hat was 4"x4", and was still very plenty big on him. Anything that size and smaller would be wonderful! I really don't think you could make a hat too small! <span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.963635444641113px;">For the blankets, 18" x 26" would be on the small end, and 28" x 32" would be on the large end, so anything in that range should be perfect!</span><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.963635444641113px;"> </span></b></span><br />
<b><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.963635444641113px;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.963635444641113px;">UPDATE: I started a Facebook </span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.963635444641113px;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.963635444641113px;">page </span></b><span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 13.963635444641113px;"><b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/rememberingrobby2012">https://www.facebook.com/rememberingrobby2012</a></b></span></span><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="mailto:RememberingRobby@gmail.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">RememberingRobby@gmail.com</span></a></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Amanda Smith </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">P.O Box 783 </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Goddard, KS 67052</span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-25068599185668560452014-05-20T16:09:00.000-07:002014-05-20T16:24:38.111-07:00Newly Found Hope<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In December 2013, I called the fertility clinic to get an appointment to discuss doing IVF with a gestational carrier. When I called to make the appointment I asked them to give me the first appointment available, with whichever doctor had the first available appointment. They set my appointment up for February 22. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-9b8476b1-1bc2-868d-cc5e-ad680bc563a5" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I went to this appointment by myself since I figured it would be fairly quick, and all I really needed to know at this appointment was the financial particulars and if my health issues would present a problem.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I sat down with the doctor, he started by saying that it would be $20,000 upfront for IVF with a gestational carrier. This does not include all of her medical costs for carrying and delivering the baby, that is strictly the cost of the IVF. I had done enough research that I was not surprised when he threw that number out at me. I actually think he was surprised at the lack of reaction that I gave when he gave me the number. What I wasn't prepared for was this:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">” Although we would be more than happy to take your $20,000.00 for IVF with gestational carrier, I want you to consider another option.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The doctor continued to tell me that he is one of the few doctors here in our city that will perform a surgery to place a transabdominal cerclage. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Quick Cerclage Information:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are two types of cerclages, a transvaginal cerclage and a transabdominal cerclage. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A transvaginal cerclage (TVC)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is placed AFTER pregnancy usually around the 12-14 week range, however, an emergency transvaginal cerclage is also sometimes placed later in pregnancy. A TVC is placed when a woman is diagnosed with incompetent cervix.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A transabdominal cerclage (TAC)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is sometimes placed during pregnancy, but it is also placed BEFORE pregnancy. In my case, I would have it placed now, and then get pregnant later. As with the TVC, the TAC is also placed when a woman is diagnosed with incompetent cervix. It is placed higher than the TVC, which is the benefit to this procedure. Since it is higher, it is placed around more muscle. With a TAC, you have to have a c-section when it is time to deliver your baby, which for me is not as big of a deal since I had a c section with Ellie. Ellie was transverse, and therefore they had to cut my uterus both vertically and horizontally guaranteeing that if I ever had another baby I would need a c-section. The surgery to have it placed is considered major surgery, but the good news is that due to my size I am a perfect candidate for it to be done laparoscopically, which will cut down on the recovery time. Now, here is the thing about a TAC, in order to be eligible for this procedure you must have already had a failed TVC, and as most of you know, that is not me. At no point in either of my two pregnancies have I had a transvaginal cerclage. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">During my pregnancy with Robby my cervix did measure short, but during my pregnancy with Ellie, my MFM (Dr. O’Hara) at that time decided that there were not enough signs pointing to incompetent cervix to think that my premature delivery of Robby was due to incompetent/short cervix. Therefore, she didn't want to do routine cervical checks throughout my pregnancy with Ellie. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This doctor believes that incompetent cervix is my issue, so he is willing to bypass the “normal” definition of someone who should have one placed and do a TAC for me. He does not see any reason for me to potentially lose another child just so that I can fit the textbook definition for a TAC. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have to admit that when he approached me about this, I was completely floored. He went on to tell me:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“ People like you deserve to have as many children as possible.” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That one got me because Tanner and I had originally hoped and planned to have four children, but after losing Robby and then having Ellie 14 weeks early we knew we would be lucky if we were ever able to have another. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVmnQl01aHLb5MbcRdr0m9kD4hXdx_0MXllm3V6EqIv8QMslMrhrSJHvrVzJnasKtmzHe62_NeUqDCqCMdnwp8q5OX3kNpHm6gkNMXLdiePRJkf9C6ycN9xGVZ57jla6rFqBPL2oW0CGfZ/s1600/IMG_6184.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVmnQl01aHLb5MbcRdr0m9kD4hXdx_0MXllm3V6EqIv8QMslMrhrSJHvrVzJnasKtmzHe62_NeUqDCqCMdnwp8q5OX3kNpHm6gkNMXLdiePRJkf9C6ycN9xGVZ57jla6rFqBPL2oW0CGfZ/s1600/IMG_6184.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Going to visit Robby</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9kD6JNfwjlno9XWmsi7AJakJQLxngv7zO7vvgBerQSx2z4B4FZ9h5lngtBsW4yyGbXvOrre5lOdRcubRu2LEE4PA_O1Zp28KH4sZNBkwJgV8uhtxXOLGh4RSiQLXK9ReO7nnmxXzhbyDz/s1600/IMG_6167edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9kD6JNfwjlno9XWmsi7AJakJQLxngv7zO7vvgBerQSx2z4B4FZ9h5lngtBsW4yyGbXvOrre5lOdRcubRu2LEE4PA_O1Zp28KH4sZNBkwJgV8uhtxXOLGh4RSiQLXK9ReO7nnmxXzhbyDz/s1600/IMG_6167edit.jpg" height="320" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reading to Robby</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, I left the appointment feeling more confused than when I went in. I had already prepared myself for the fact that I would not carry another baby, and that if we were ever blessed with another pregnancy it wouldn't be me that was pregnant. I would be watching someone else carry my baby because unfortunately my body can’t. I can’t say I had come to terms with it, but I was working on it, then he hit me with that. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I went home and the next day put a call into the MFM (Dr. Wolfe) who was present when I delivered Robby. I decided to contact him rather than Dr. O’Hara because although Dr. O’Hara is a terrific doctor, she did not listen to me as much as I had hoped, and I felt like we just did not click throughout my pregnancy with Ellie. When Dr. Wolfe called back he said that he feels that a TAC is “overly aggressive.” So, although it was not exactly what I wanted to hear, I have to say that I was not too surprised with his reaction. This doctor is an excellent doctor, but he is very “by the book.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, I talked it over with Tanner, we talked it over with my family, and I prayed about it a lot. In my heart I believe that I was placed with this doctor for a reason. Do I think that I will be able to carry a full term baby? No, I don’t, and this doctor does not believe that I will truly make it to be full term. However, I do believe (and obviously so does this doctor) that this could help. I sat on my answer for awhile. Then, I went around to every single hospital, MFM, and OBGYN that I have been to and signed releases so that this doctor could have all of my information. I wanted to make sure he was making a completely informed decision.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, I called him back. I wanted to make sure that after seeing everything and reviewing it again that he still felt a TAC would benefit me. I dreaded the phone call because I was afraid that he would say that he changed his mind. When the doctor called me back, he told me that he had personally talked to both my OBGYN and my MFM, and that although my MFM wasn’t “overly enthusiastic”about it, he had agreed to it and my OBGYN is completely on board with this plan. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This doctor has only done this procedure a handful of times, but his current success rate is 100%. I have to believe that he wouldn't risk his perfect success rate if he didn't really believe that this would help me carry a baby further than my previous pregnancies. I also do not believe that all of my doctors would risk me going through a major surgery if they did not truly believe that it could help.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, Tanner and I have decided that I will have the surgery done, and at some point in the future I will try to carry another baby. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am so excited. I am excited and full of hope. I know that when the time comes for me to actually be pregnant, I will be terrified, but for now I am just going to be excited. We know that this is a risk, but so was getting pregnant with Ellie, and look what we ended up with...a beautiful, sweet, and perfect little girl. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGFdmfXBZ5mrme-qta03H99OlxyX4eFHmIk0aHgVPpZmdrE4iRfErld98vnpSAXOMXXwN2PEeLOuKr1ZpxpZolstaSQ1k7xNbF40pHhbHsxMudgJgQ5463SXTamMpDg3TlWOiw2FsiIlb1/s1600/IMG_5400.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGFdmfXBZ5mrme-qta03H99OlxyX4eFHmIk0aHgVPpZmdrE4iRfErld98vnpSAXOMXXwN2PEeLOuKr1ZpxpZolstaSQ1k7xNbF40pHhbHsxMudgJgQ5463SXTamMpDg3TlWOiw2FsiIlb1/s1600/IMG_5400.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now, that being said, I will not be getting pregnant anytime soon! This Fall I will be finishing my last semester of college, so I will not be getting pregnant before that happens! </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pregnancy is stressful for me. I will need time to prepare mentally for the stress of being pregnant, and I also want Ellie to be a little bit older. I will want to have some time to spend with Ellie without the stress of school, and without the stress of actually being pregnant.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisYup0ZvGKBu2dZSR_OUbDTNKvm5-OQjjGJuirA4ThRKCJnEsSXg6wqro097Blsmz1Sp9bdIYpft1JmCL4xozpkKi3tVb8rV921MlZ6TOe31FKA-Xr-FXDmwUX7FuwiL4IoJmIVNG5At91/s1600/IMG_6052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisYup0ZvGKBu2dZSR_OUbDTNKvm5-OQjjGJuirA4ThRKCJnEsSXg6wqro097Blsmz1Sp9bdIYpft1JmCL4xozpkKi3tVb8rV921MlZ6TOe31FKA-Xr-FXDmwUX7FuwiL4IoJmIVNG5At91/s1600/IMG_6052.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have debated sharing this news on my blog because I do not want people to be waiting for me to get pregnant again. We will get pregnant when the time is right for us. However, since I have been so open about everything else, I decided to share this exciting, hopeful news with all of you. </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I would like to ask for prayers as I prepare for this upcoming surgery. Although they should be able to do this surgery laparoscopically, it will still be hard on my body, especially with my health issues. It is considered to be a major surgery and so it is a little bit scary! Please pray for the doctor to be able to place the stitch as far up and as accurately as possible, and please pray for me, Tanner, and my family as we all mentally prepare for another pregnancy. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37lVM8MWDq4AZDzLbFB8z55iK_eDkkOxdWkXppIYy8kJyfj_gMbDiPuOfhbNNoiF_0EG4pJ09FqEXgg-fZq1-E2ZhfgA8JQ0i7TUTx5viWsM-Y6jij6j5AuYypifn1AvicfXDTcEdNkwG/s1600/IMG_5649.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg37lVM8MWDq4AZDzLbFB8z55iK_eDkkOxdWkXppIYy8kJyfj_gMbDiPuOfhbNNoiF_0EG4pJ09FqEXgg-fZq1-E2ZhfgA8JQ0i7TUTx5viWsM-Y6jij6j5AuYypifn1AvicfXDTcEdNkwG/s1600/IMG_5649.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-6150085572198688622014-02-24T06:48:00.001-08:002014-02-24T06:48:11.483-08:00In My Own Time<div class="MsoNormal">
Two years ago today I gave birth to the most beautiful
little boy. For almost two hours we sat holding him, loving him, and savoring
every moment that we had with him until his heart gave its last beat and he
took his last breath while in my arms.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp6ps9WzvaVXoFCeiznmLJlwPL1BIKXQQs3EDs-DVcCuvgoRn4yZjg9biDPcSl4QDV5f8MLlvNTFv6q1rfHicN4DPJgaMcZr7kDRCYQDG27164mU8dhlaR5w14KUs7ixtilV-C_fKZdPyF/s1600/robby.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp6ps9WzvaVXoFCeiznmLJlwPL1BIKXQQs3EDs-DVcCuvgoRn4yZjg9biDPcSl4QDV5f8MLlvNTFv6q1rfHicN4DPJgaMcZr7kDRCYQDG27164mU8dhlaR5w14KUs7ixtilV-C_fKZdPyF/s1600/robby.jpeg" height="256" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our precious Robby born at 23 weeks</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last year for Robby’s
birthday blog I talked about how I had started to finally come to terms with
his death, and I shared some of my favorite memories of him. This year, I could
share some of my favorite memories of him with you, but that would mean that I
would be re posting the blog from last year. That is the thing about having a
child in heaven…you don’t get to have any new memories with them. The memories
I have are the only ones I will ever get. Every year when we celebrate Robby’s
birthday, we will remember the same 23 weeks that we had with him. It is a
reminder that yes, although he did live for a short time, his time with us was
cut incredibly short. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, this year for Robby’s birthday blog I want to share with you some
of the things that I have learned about grief this past year.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year as a whole has been a little bit easier than last
year. I feel that I have made steps forward, as well as learned some things about
grief, and I would like to take some time to share with you the things that I
have learned.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>It does get better-</b> The pain of losing Robby will not ever go away.
I lost a piece of my heart when he died, and that part of me will always be
empty. However, over this past year I have found ways to cope with my grief. I
have taken baby steps forward, and I have found ways to deal inwardly with my
grief. I feel that I now spend less time wondering “what if.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvQf2-A0696Qj5z2bKcWvANTqmNyroem9QwM8yC9u7mdwI4Jq3t3nJtMdPLtV6L9Oa0dcXrvfjT-n3YvI5OpbWkZJp56sAfSmQrLuI9XvLp_I_wU3iadqzLZ_aYIED2NkvrO5yNIVlxONm/s1600/IMG_4124.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvQf2-A0696Qj5z2bKcWvANTqmNyroem9QwM8yC9u7mdwI4Jq3t3nJtMdPLtV6L9Oa0dcXrvfjT-n3YvI5OpbWkZJp56sAfSmQrLuI9XvLp_I_wU3iadqzLZ_aYIED2NkvrO5yNIVlxONm/s1600/IMG_4124.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ellie is giving our Robby Bear a kiss</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>There is no time limit on grief</b>- A mother
who has lost her child will grieve her child forever. I will forever wonder
what Robby would look like, what his favorite color would be, what his favorite
food would be, what talents he would have and what kind of person he would be.
I will always wish that I could have <b>both</b>
of my babies with me- Robby and Ellie. What mother wouldn’t? Will the <i>way</i> I grieve the loss of my son change?
Absolutely! However, even if you do not outwardly see my grief, I will always
be grieving my son inwardly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Please do not let anyone tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve</b>-
This past year I tried to speed up my grief process so that others around me
would not feel uncomfortable, but unfortunately, it did not end very well. In
the end I learned that the people who love me will let me grieve in my
own way in my own time. They won’t rush me or tell me to grieve in a different
way. I decided this year that I will not apologize for grieving me son. I am grieving my son because I love him, and
apologizing for grieving is like apologizing for loving.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgKmHToIsxDtDkoaoGaqGp4NBnuUaXNM5kP5irsK-vN_PVcG0uvn5V_eKyJuihWmKpYXFC9pwZ74myP2KZBe9scPj3dMA6l9fJrBh-_G7hnjy3gymy9v4f8SuOMLYgqx5cwxN1-p3cvrI_/s1600/IMG_4161.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgKmHToIsxDtDkoaoGaqGp4NBnuUaXNM5kP5irsK-vN_PVcG0uvn5V_eKyJuihWmKpYXFC9pwZ74myP2KZBe9scPj3dMA6l9fJrBh-_G7hnjy3gymy9v4f8SuOMLYgqx5cwxN1-p3cvrI_/s1600/IMG_4161.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reading to Robby Bear</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Everyone grieves
differently</b>- Just because you have a friend who lost a child a few years
back and is “fine” now does not mean that I will be “fine” in the same amount
of time or the same way. Also, just because they appear to be ‘”fine” does not
mean that they are not sad about their loss anymore. It just means that they
are currently at a different point in the grief journey than I am right now.
There is not a timeline for grief. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>It was not my “karma”</b>-
Yes, this was actually said about me at one point this year. Like most mother's
of loss, I do at times blame myself. I am Robby’s mom, and I should have been
able to protect him. Robby’s death was in no way my fault, and it was not my
“karma.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ihZtJXM2yXiMd81FAXNOe9T7cn7ENRiklejkXWWQtafUWU1uPfFQ6KsD7Xa8113Oua4l0plvqIyiOih9WzNNYMskT3fBPfKCN3oWh6ZmkVq2JoYjLfjIK6GiH6qP4iVgj_XZqHowA2gg/s1600/1901759_10152020669069075_1601600679_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ihZtJXM2yXiMd81FAXNOe9T7cn7ENRiklejkXWWQtafUWU1uPfFQ6KsD7Xa8113Oua4l0plvqIyiOih9WzNNYMskT3fBPfKCN3oWh6ZmkVq2JoYjLfjIK6GiH6qP4iVgj_XZqHowA2gg/s1600/1901759_10152020669069075_1601600679_n.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Visiting the cemetery with balloons and flowers for Robby</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I do not “live in the
past,” I visit it- </b>People tend to think that women who are grieving are “living
in the past,” but I disagree. Living in the past is something that would be
terribly painful for women who have lost a baby, because that would mean
re-living their child’s death over and over again. However, I do admit to <i>visiting</i> the past. The past is the only
place where my son lives, so why wouldn’t I visit from time to time? It brings
me comfort to visit the past sometimes, because the months that I had with
Robby were some of the most wonderful and happy times of my life.<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8PVBV7-mAdrDNuOntoLCXxQO2Nyhp1rTM7s7ZrDVxTg1o_SBxq-ratDL-UC3yL4U1Kkw2CwQgLHKJITFfgFQ_0aFCKRSCT1VFDBj9Dgb24_YrDw5sOV0oSDegdMohaAKGzxXK6AmUp2_0/s1600/IMG_3942.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8PVBV7-mAdrDNuOntoLCXxQO2Nyhp1rTM7s7ZrDVxTg1o_SBxq-ratDL-UC3yL4U1Kkw2CwQgLHKJITFfgFQ_0aFCKRSCT1VFDBj9Dgb24_YrDw5sOV0oSDegdMohaAKGzxXK6AmUp2_0/s1600/IMG_3942.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Just because the year
of grief has seemed easier does not mean that the days leading up to his
birthday this year have been easier-</b> This past year was easier than the
year before, but as the days leading up to Robby’s birth and death, I was
pulled right back into this sea of emotions. After Robby died, during the first
year, on the 24th of each month I was sad. I would think about how old he would
have been, what milestones he would have been hitting, and what he would have been doing. This past year the 24th of each
month was just another day to me. It wasn’t a day of sadness or sorrow, and it
didn't toss me into thoughts about what Robby would have been doing-it was just
another busy day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Ellie is my rainbow,
not my band aid-</b> The child after a loss is described as a rainbow baby.
Here is my favorite explanation: It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow
does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not
mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its
aftermath- it means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in
the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the
rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope. I know that some
people out there do not understand why I am still sad about Robby’s death now
that I have Ellie. I love Ellie so fiercely and with every ounce of my being,
but she in no way fills Robby’s place in my heart. However, she makes me smile
when I am sad, and she reminds me of how truly blessed we are.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0bE0CxSppx4hqhr4gyvMNXjOaxA_SKZigBdmufHgPdDxkek-WVoq1iJkWWWfWiSLo0mUCgzGI7RvigfnAQZO7qDBgZJrSoDeVXTzHbSu_jPkXz62ZMJZuuP3ANdKjUtjhR-i8xUTGKPc/s1600/1959773_10152020670574075_1207533450_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio0bE0CxSppx4hqhr4gyvMNXjOaxA_SKZigBdmufHgPdDxkek-WVoq1iJkWWWfWiSLo0mUCgzGI7RvigfnAQZO7qDBgZJrSoDeVXTzHbSu_jPkXz62ZMJZuuP3ANdKjUtjhR-i8xUTGKPc/s1600/1959773_10152020670574075_1207533450_n.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This past year of my grief journey has been difficult, but
not as difficult as the previous year. I hope that this coming year I can continue to
learn and grow. The most important thing that Robby taught me with his short
time here with us is to enjoy every single moment. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Savor everything because time is precious.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"If there ever comes a day we can't be together keep me
in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
~ Winnie the Pooh<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDT8cEBtFAriOCbdXpwcAxFzo1DA0YqJanTgM3BLy078Z3QzUUAumqHPxRWLo72iXOQq4uUY4UKCy162mt-N0itbkkb2b-VqT41rDyRtkhyphenhyphenAjV6s3nO86zMjr9e92yU9T7KClDwgPZj65x/s1600/1743648_10152020669914075_736782605_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDT8cEBtFAriOCbdXpwcAxFzo1DA0YqJanTgM3BLy078Z3QzUUAumqHPxRWLo72iXOQq4uUY4UKCy162mt-N0itbkkb2b-VqT41rDyRtkhyphenhyphenAjV6s3nO86zMjr9e92yU9T7KClDwgPZj65x/s1600/1743648_10152020669914075_736782605_n.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-26887761339541471402013-12-31T19:20:00.000-08:002014-01-01T08:03:13.334-08:00A Year Of Healing<div class="MsoNormal">
It feels like I just sat down to write my year end blog for
the year 2012, and now here I am sitting down to write it for 2013. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year has flown by, and it has been an amazing year. We
started out the year 2013 with Ellie at home with us. She had only been home
about 2 weeks, was on oxygen and monitors all of the time. Although she was
home with us, our fears were not gone. We were still concerned about her brain
bleed, ROP, her chronic lung disease, and her small size. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the course of the year some of our fears were
eliminated. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ellie came off of oxygen at 4 months old! That was a huge
relief for us, and I still vividly remember the fear that I had when we first
took her off! We were given a pulse ox machine to monitor Ellie’s oxygen
numbers, and to be completely honest, we still have it! There are still times
that I check her oxygen levels to make sure she is breathing at 100 percent! I
also keep it around so that when she does get sick (and I do know that she
eventually will), we will not have to go into the emergency room to have her
oxygen numbers checked. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next up, Ellie was able to come off of her monitors much
more quickly than we had originally thought. She stayed on her apnea monitor at
night for several months after we quit day time usage, mainly to ease my own
fears. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigvdemNN0wJ5CaCl_3i_fE4XnePRDxlQ8R05xJWKJHw5ASpabOZGDXZ4YxwkAW_uXujPb7QRAo7EBqdtMOH9u0-7OnoDEAvT2fFvGd1NGCF_6DCiO3yIZIq2paVslfQtAjCN2zBPsFLCUz/s1600/blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigvdemNN0wJ5CaCl_3i_fE4XnePRDxlQ8R05xJWKJHw5ASpabOZGDXZ4YxwkAW_uXujPb7QRAo7EBqdtMOH9u0-7OnoDEAvT2fFvGd1NGCF_6DCiO3yIZIq2paVslfQtAjCN2zBPsFLCUz/s320/blog1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ellie’s brain bleed resolved itself! Although it was
considered a minor brain bleed as far as brain bleeds go, it was still a huge
relief to hear that it was gone! We had a brain ultrasound at the end of April
where they confirmed that her brain looked great! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9UCg3Rwlv8yMl5Cub9rvH0IV-2Qr5MT3DQzxHJkjmajr2FbJXV_PwBS7vJ2ge62M4mc5I7fmgN3ma3nYEbjMgtHU-o4CRmXBS6Lh4BUI8B2ryMn8jwZpsrrAvquyqah-qZHjH0Vn8-62/s1600/blog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9UCg3Rwlv8yMl5Cub9rvH0IV-2Qr5MT3DQzxHJkjmajr2FbJXV_PwBS7vJ2ge62M4mc5I7fmgN3ma3nYEbjMgtHU-o4CRmXBS6Lh4BUI8B2ryMn8jwZpsrrAvquyqah-qZHjH0Vn8-62/s320/blog3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ellie’s ROP also resolved itself! Her eyes crossed for quite
a while, but the eye doctor assured us that it is completely normal for newborn
babies to have crossed eyes from time to time. I remember working really hard
with Ellie on tracking things with her eyes. We tried to find different toys
that would catch her interest, but in the end, the thing that helped Ellie with
her tracking…was the dogs. I was so worried back then about her eyes, but now,
I am reminded daily of how well her eyes work. Ellie has a knack for finding
the smallest speck of anything on the floor, reaches down and picks it up! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-8Or_4FQK67e593rsne7QGW8fyYlL1CJ5CUZZPY4k86VS1M_NW0wm9DTMK-GkEMsgXQffgDIyTPs7HKUM-D5Y63yUb9aA_vyGYpDdjtVnUDhROWdeYuo97agkRnvSLFUPcB24XlrsV_m/s1600/blogeyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB-8Or_4FQK67e593rsne7QGW8fyYlL1CJ5CUZZPY4k86VS1M_NW0wm9DTMK-GkEMsgXQffgDIyTPs7HKUM-D5Y63yUb9aA_vyGYpDdjtVnUDhROWdeYuo97agkRnvSLFUPcB24XlrsV_m/s320/blogeyes.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ellie has come so far developmentally this year, from
rolling over to sitting up, to pulling up, to standing, and now taking a few
unassisted steps! She is doing so well, and I am proud of each and every
accomplishment that she makes- from mastering using her pinchers to taking her
first steps. Each accomplishment is a victory. I know that she is not right on
track developmentally as far as the October babies go, but that is okay. Ellie
seems to be hitting her milestones somewhere between the October babies and the
January babies- which is amazing! She is doing more than they expected her to
do, and for this I am thankful. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCG9TgNz3hOABX80pG4pyPQhBNKg8tqd7AJzLb_33B41oMA1Xa8Ply2d9xHcmrFfFsuU28_yUv1cyIPIiZv07wjVnnxT-3JA-dv4dc0FfkO0XaeKIlVVsBBKvbgh4vyHyXRR46kas37LBx/s1600/blog6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCG9TgNz3hOABX80pG4pyPQhBNKg8tqd7AJzLb_33B41oMA1Xa8Ply2d9xHcmrFfFsuU28_yUv1cyIPIiZv07wjVnnxT-3JA-dv4dc0FfkO0XaeKIlVVsBBKvbgh4vyHyXRR46kas37LBx/s320/blog6.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ellie’s weight is something that I do not stress out over
anymore. For the first year of her life I kept a food journal. Everything she
ate was written down and tracked. When she turned one, I finally pitched the
food journal, and we have been sailing through ever since. Ellie is still
slightly small for her age, but she was going to be small even if she had been
full term.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKzzZVLgphtBBcHUX0QhO6ayIH4Vhan2fs0KUc_ef0_Yodv2TMxtlfl9BO-7LHv8M7U0O2dDX7W-qFZOpFoJ3wMNdpFlv3lXHwi9UThwWI56cXFeuZkFjzK-ZI7GmpyxLd0fkvdMuLB_jo/s1600/bloghealthy2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKzzZVLgphtBBcHUX0QhO6ayIH4Vhan2fs0KUc_ef0_Yodv2TMxtlfl9BO-7LHv8M7U0O2dDX7W-qFZOpFoJ3wMNdpFlv3lXHwi9UThwWI56cXFeuZkFjzK-ZI7GmpyxLd0fkvdMuLB_jo/s320/bloghealthy2.jpg" width="203" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel that this year
I have come a long way in my “grief journey.” I have recently taken a step that
I wasn't sure I would ever be able to take…I bought something that was boy
specific, and then a few weeks later I did it again. The first gift that I
purchased that was boy specific was for my Uncle and his wife, as they recently
found out that they are expecting a little boy, and the second one was for a
dear friend’s little boy’s first birthday. This was difficult for me because
the last things I bought that were for a boy I purchased for Robby on the day
before I went into labor with him, and then after he died, I had to pack them
all away in storage containers. I have also recently realized that I am having
more good days than bad days.There is not a single day
that goes by that I do not think about my son, but instead of
having days where all I want to do is cry, I can smile at his memory. I also
know that not everyone can see what big steps I have taken forward, but the
people who really know me, know that the steps that I have made this year are
huge. I still miss my son every single day, but as the days go by I am also
able to find ways to cope with my grief, and I am thankful for the people who
have stood by me during this time. I know that at times some of the people
around me have had a difficult time understanding my grief, and I do not expect
those who have not lost a child to completely understand what I am going
through, but it means so much to me when I have friends and family members who
do their best to be supportive and understanding. Thank you to my friends who
have recently been pregnant, for understanding when I am not an active
“clicker” and “commenter” on their facebook pages. It is still difficult for me
to see pregnancy and new baby related things, especially baby boys. This is
something that I am working on, and I really do appreciate all of my friends
for giving me time to find ways to cope. Also, I want to thank the loss
community, because you ladies have been a pillar of strength for me. You help
me to realize that the things that I am feeling are normal, and that is a huge
comfort to me. A good friend once said that losing a child isn't a single
event- it is a lifetime of loss. When you lose a child, you lose all of the
hopes and dreams that you had for them, and you spend the rest of your life
wondering who that child would have been. I am proud of myself for the steps
that I have taken this year.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8tpszyg22iyBrJyVwDHy8aqQrfDFG2QIObNwF9rJUfekwlQOwIB0U8PWkVsEDKiWL0aU8xI9hR0mvVpe4Hgq05y28wgoGT4IsxWP2PycgFhlCnTVQScIRaiNRect0nDQIK_tDD_Ibg1u6/s1600/blog11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8tpszyg22iyBrJyVwDHy8aqQrfDFG2QIObNwF9rJUfekwlQOwIB0U8PWkVsEDKiWL0aU8xI9hR0mvVpe4Hgq05y28wgoGT4IsxWP2PycgFhlCnTVQScIRaiNRect0nDQIK_tDD_Ibg1u6/s320/blog11.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year I had to
say goodbye to my dog of ten years, Barbie. Barbie was a rescue dog, and
therefore, she required some extra love and care. She was extremely special to
me, which made it an especially difficult decision for me to make, but when I
am sad about it, I just remember that she led a full life and happy life here
with us and that I did not want her to suffer any longer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCQhTDomKNDTr9HFjQY7ABhmU5t67PVjGcwJ6MeBrwMABAMlxhjuf8kt1I2wooBwtL9YjBbq61U1t4g3gih8LJkpNJ-uOJgG-qLnjgonnBfyPfX5-nrVsGmsYKVAHJjPnqmdwGmwZgS7cp/s1600/barbie16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCQhTDomKNDTr9HFjQY7ABhmU5t67PVjGcwJ6MeBrwMABAMlxhjuf8kt1I2wooBwtL9YjBbq61U1t4g3gih8LJkpNJ-uOJgG-qLnjgonnBfyPfX5-nrVsGmsYKVAHJjPnqmdwGmwZgS7cp/s320/barbie16.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have some big plans for the year 2014!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First, a dear friend of mine has inspired me to start a year
of scripture memorization. She blogged about doing it (<a href="http://amysmusings82.blogspot.com/2013/12/my-sword-2014.html" target="_blank">Click Here</a>), and on the
same day that I read her blog, I came across a list that my great-grandmother
(Delphine, Ellie’s namesake) made years ago of scriptures that were special to
her. I took this as a sign and I am going to memorize two of her favorite
scripture verses every month. I am really excited to start this scripture
memorization, and if there is anyone else out there who would like to join in
with us, please let me know. I used to do a lot of scripture
memorization, and I am positive that it helped me in my walk with God. Memorizing scripture will help to strengthen me in times of stress and comfort me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Secondly, this year I want to find something to do in
Robby’s honor. Whether it is planting a tree or donating to a hospital or cause
close to my heart, I want to actually do something this year. I am still trying
to decide what I am going to do, but I do know that we will be doing something.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thirdly, Tanner and I
are moving forward with our gestational carrier plans. My doctor has contacted
our local fertility clinic on my behalf, and hopefully the beginning of 2014 I
will have an appointment to discuss doing an egg retrieval. We would appreciate
prayers as we begin this journey. One big concern right now is that I am not
sure how my health will factor into the egg retrieval process, but it is our
hope that it is something that is achievable for us. After the consultation
appointment we will begin the process of finding a gestational carrier and we
would certainly appreciate prayers for this part of the process as well. I am
still having a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that I will not be
carrying anymore children, but I think this is something that will just take
some time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fourth, I am going to continue to enjoy Ellie each and every
day. Good days, bad days, teething days, grumpy days, sweet days, and ornery
days- all of them will be enjoyed. Ellie is a miracle and a blessing, and I am
so thankful that I have the opportunity to watch her grow, learn, and change. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7XSBbU4NSTIZ750EVeWk-JAhVVpzq100eA60AIH2Pgevj3kh5HZG23enI8_Y8wzrAyXdnK-zY_ZPOpFGsrrVYH2OrPceRMca77H6TxQhn3kRWT6swepilbPJN9NgFB7pn9nOMwCYAsSo7/s1600/blog10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7XSBbU4NSTIZ750EVeWk-JAhVVpzq100eA60AIH2Pgevj3kh5HZG23enI8_Y8wzrAyXdnK-zY_ZPOpFGsrrVYH2OrPceRMca77H6TxQhn3kRWT6swepilbPJN9NgFB7pn9nOMwCYAsSo7/s320/blog10.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These past two years have been intense years for us. From
losing Robby, to having Ellie prematurely and all of the stuff that came along
with her extremely early birth, to being in isolation during flu and RSV season
last year and now being in isolation again for the second year. Thank you so
much to our friends and family who have stood by us through it all. We have had
some difficult times, but for those who stuck with us, we have had some really
great times as well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can proudly say that it has been a wonderful year, and I
am looking forward to what 2014 has in store for us!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWbe64FmD_H9zAGyqK7VULRv2zVLltlBPw7g3gqq9WVun8i23mIqhXN7Fmg1_X4ixiDonPvRsQVInrwPDHGuCbfUFr2kFhMk__PphrUzEIB7zE9rkbApU72rG0NCQt3PTK5FxHMW0yUMLT/s1600/new+year.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWbe64FmD_H9zAGyqK7VULRv2zVLltlBPw7g3gqq9WVun8i23mIqhXN7Fmg1_X4ixiDonPvRsQVInrwPDHGuCbfUFr2kFhMk__PphrUzEIB7zE9rkbApU72rG0NCQt3PTK5FxHMW0yUMLT/s320/new+year.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-9389794222996135272013-12-19T16:43:00.001-08:002013-12-19T16:43:08.174-08:00Loving Ellie: One Year At Home<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">One year ago
today my dream actually came true: We were finally able to bring Ellie home!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguuAMIptbK2boN_uti146MwmeQFvomGB2XqbL9y8M3RT5CoL1wLJZwsVcTGBRfu7U2WYnrANhOjk4GAd3zrlrES1qFWLKZ49VILXh-qnKQNwQdCHdEHEdbEUQlDFsEkNfUs07XexmI6_sx/s1600/cominghome3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguuAMIptbK2boN_uti146MwmeQFvomGB2XqbL9y8M3RT5CoL1wLJZwsVcTGBRfu7U2WYnrANhOjk4GAd3zrlrES1qFWLKZ49VILXh-qnKQNwQdCHdEHEdbEUQlDFsEkNfUs07XexmI6_sx/s320/cominghome3.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After 64 days
of watching her lay in an isolette hooked up to monitors and cords. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After 64 days
of watching and staring at her monitors like it was our job or like we could
change anything on the monitors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After 64 days
of praying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After 64 days
of waiting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">On day 65 our
moment finally arrived. The day that we had all been waiting for- Ellie’s
homecoming day!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I can still
remember the excitement that we felt when my mom and I typed up our final
update for Ellie's facebook page from the hospital. I tear up every time I
read the last sentence:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“We have done
it prayer warriors- victory! Ellie IS our TAKE HOME BABY!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbJGWOBN8g4A1p9DKRll2TaF72iNiRSDMzJNDPu5KU5W_1Jrg514af70AOV95lCywY8PhyWvg18wO2QZwxal-01NjGQ_4t4zJ6PibCECub2olXFb9gzS1z7LiXGpPyULIpTV4E2bUUh3S6/s1600/cominghome6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbJGWOBN8g4A1p9DKRll2TaF72iNiRSDMzJNDPu5KU5W_1Jrg514af70AOV95lCywY8PhyWvg18wO2QZwxal-01NjGQ_4t4zJ6PibCECub2olXFb9gzS1z7LiXGpPyULIpTV4E2bUUh3S6/s320/cominghome6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When Ellie
was finally able to come home with us is when I truly started to feel like a
real parent. When you are a NICU parent, you have to let other people take care
of your child for you, from the minute that they are born. In the middle of the
night, if I wanted to know how Ellie was doing, I had to call and let someone
that most of the time I didn’t even know, tell me how my baby was doing.
Although all of the nurses were very well trained and knew what they were
doing, it did not make it any easier to leave my baby with them. Instead of
waking up every three hours all night long to feed and rock Ellie, I was awake every
3 hours to pump her milk and call to check on her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKW-_uk7yk8zEvcDJaR0oJQQWtqWnksB-sG2hQsZrh6vDrefnuomhra-PvMSTCRnXOBv4wja3aq9GNqCsXtINGF1OjVMvN0qkgvv5L1r-bEA2POlOJn4LfrEAvWZaZVwWP7O33ScbkvorR/s1600/cominghome4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKW-_uk7yk8zEvcDJaR0oJQQWtqWnksB-sG2hQsZrh6vDrefnuomhra-PvMSTCRnXOBv4wja3aq9GNqCsXtINGF1OjVMvN0qkgvv5L1r-bEA2POlOJn4LfrEAvWZaZVwWP7O33ScbkvorR/s320/cominghome4.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We were on
the hospital’s schedule, for a reason of course, but even though there was a
reason, it is difficult for a parent to have someone else tell them when they
can hold, change, and feed their baby. Somebody was always watching us, and
always critiquing us. However, when we came home, the only person who dictated
our schedule was Ellie…as it should be! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Once Ellie
was home, I would wake up every three hours and instead of calling into the nurse's
station and pumping, I was able to pick up Ellie, feed her, and rock her back
to sleep. That was the most amazing feeling! I think that being in the NICU
made us appreciate all of the little things just a little bit more. Something
as simple as picking up my baby when she was crying brought happy tears to my
eyes because I was finally able to comfort her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Sometimes I
sit at my computer and go back through all of the updates that my mom wrote for
the Loving Ellie group and the pictures that we posted for our prayer warriors
and wonder how in the world we made it through everything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When I sit
and think about Ellie’s NICU journey I cry, because the emotions are still so
raw. I can still smell the NICU, hear the beeping of the monitors and hear the
song that played while I was on the phone each time I called to check on my
baby. Then when I pull myself back into what is going on now I see a happy,
vibrant, active, 14 month old, and I remember that as difficult as it was to go
through the NICU, we are so very lucky that she is alive and healthy!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">At 14 months
old and weighing in right at 18 pounds, 8 ounces, we are starting to really see
Ellie’s personality blossom. She is tough, strong willed, and resilient. She is very loving and will openly give lots of kisses! She has an ornery streak a mile wide, is very busy, and loves to climb on and touch everything! I
think that these qualities are what helped her make it in the NICU. When she
was admitted to the NICU, nurses told us over and over that a baby’s
personality is one of the strongest determinations in how they are going to do.
Ellie had a strong will to live. She was and still is a fighter. Last year she
was fighting to make it home, and this year she is fighting to win the “I’m
going to drop my sippy up over my high chair onto the floor and you ARE going
to pick it up for me” game!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCYIB9wMLCVunpf4K6Rss3e2bhGFfBqxiSDAqQdesi3-H91he_FCmPIrqQGoHYqdrW9q_EF1waS9hvBPIvg9MVhxpRty66yNtv8deVIV8Ghmabnv66thYjIRfbBTrsaAV3PPdGR-HZ8d3R/s1600/IMG_1979.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCYIB9wMLCVunpf4K6Rss3e2bhGFfBqxiSDAqQdesi3-H91he_FCmPIrqQGoHYqdrW9q_EF1waS9hvBPIvg9MVhxpRty66yNtv8deVIV8Ghmabnv66thYjIRfbBTrsaAV3PPdGR-HZ8d3R/s320/IMG_1979.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">How quickly
the last 65 days went as opposed to last year. Last year the days seemed to
drag on. Day after day we did the same thing. We sat by Ellie’s isolette from
early morning until late at night and watched her-wondering if and when we were
going to be able to take her home. This year, we spend our days playing with
Ellie, watching her learn new things (like taking her first steps!!), and
watching her personality bloom. She is constantly changing and growing, and I
cannot say enough how thankful I am that she has the opportunity to grow up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt_vKEWGzDU7l2Di8DbRFRYrXSb1G3cdp96mKt9diyrdGTtsv6QjyCTJugnhk2WpiVYZDINqR3XrsO5wMJQGCQ5lgD2-iklbvtsyok-9CY7rDXdqEDcrW6caWxl1ExRe4vUh8dcy0XqONU/s1600/IMG_2062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt_vKEWGzDU7l2Di8DbRFRYrXSb1G3cdp96mKt9diyrdGTtsv6QjyCTJugnhk2WpiVYZDINqR3XrsO5wMJQGCQ5lgD2-iklbvtsyok-9CY7rDXdqEDcrW6caWxl1ExRe4vUh8dcy0XqONU/s320/IMG_2062.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">As exciting
and as much relief as it was to bring her home, the fear that we had (and even
still do have) weighed us down. While we were packing up our bags to leave the
hospital last December 19, four nurses and one nurse practitioner came in to
see us at different times. While they were there, they pretty much all said the
same things:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She really
shouldn’t be going home yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She is too
small, so she is at risk for failure to thrive which would put her back in the
hospital on a feeding tube.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She WILL be
back this RSV season.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When she does
come back, she will end up on a ventilator.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Don’t pass
her around for others to hold- limit this to immediate family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They scared
the you-know-what out of us. Before they came into the room I was feeling
extremely confident in taking Ellie home. Flu and RSV season was starting to
get bad, and I was ready to get her out of the hospital. I believed Dr. Hsaio
and knew that she was going to have a better chance of staying well at home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Well, after
the nurses came into visit, I started to panic. I kept a hospital bag packed
until March, because I just knew that we would be back for one reason or
another. I was told that she would most likely go back to the hospital for failure
to thrive, or RSV. I know that each and every single one of those nurses
meant well, and were only saying what they did so that we would be extremely
careful. I would imagine they see many micro preemie babies go and then return.
Though said with well meaning- they scared us! I am STILL terrified of Ellie
getting sick. I know that one of these days it IS going to happen, but I dread
the day that it does. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> When we
took Ellie home she was so small and sick, but we didn’t see it then like we
see it now as we go back through pictures. At the time we were comparing her to
the 1 pound 12 ounce baby she was at birth. As I look back through the pictures
from when she came home to now, I think I am finally starting to realize how
small and sick she really was. I did not notice it then. My mom and I would
actually say, “Wow, she looks like a normal baby here!” However, looking back
at those exact same pictures now, I can see it. We are able to see now what
others (the nurses) were seeing then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvHIdJx2f721nQPeJEQpY8Ko6F54q_TAL8D2ZAx9Wljs7Bt17p-DBrX7IK4z8hJ06wP_M2XtWDghVJYP6FDpHo_3kfd6nh2na26VUkQ9NmxMIsup2Hg_bT2QP3DidLidVyy59rJHRIppSI/s1600/santa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvHIdJx2f721nQPeJEQpY8Ko6F54q_TAL8D2ZAx9Wljs7Bt17p-DBrX7IK4z8hJ06wP_M2XtWDghVJYP6FDpHo_3kfd6nh2na26VUkQ9NmxMIsup2Hg_bT2QP3DidLidVyy59rJHRIppSI/s320/santa.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’ve said it
before several times, but I’m going to say it once again, Thank you so much to
all of the people out there who have been praying for, cheering on, and loving
Ellie. Not only did you pray for her during her hospital stay, but so many of
you continue to pray for Ellie now. You cheer her on when she hits a milestone,
and send prayers for doctor’s appointments. You are a constant and amazing
support system for me, Tanner, Ellie, and our entire family. Thank you for
continuing to follow Ellie’s journey even though she is no longer in the
hospital. I fully believe that Ellie is destined for greatness, and I know that
God and every single one of her prayer warriors is to thank for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I also want
to thank everyone at Wesley hospital who helped us get out of there at 65 days.
If it wasn’t for all of the wonderful nurses, respiratory therapists, nurse
practitioners, doctors, and office staff, I do not think that we would have
made it out of there when we did. We should have been in the hospital at least
another 30 days, but thanks to all of the people at Wesley, we were able to go
home sooner. A special thank you to Dr. Hsaio, as he is the one who truly
believed in Ellie. He believed that she would be fine going home…as he told
us…Ellie is “kick ass!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> For
anyone who is wondering what special thing we did for Ellie today on her one
year homecoming: We let her eat her dinner in playland and wearing only a
diaper! She was a very happy baby!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I am so
thankful for this past year. I am so thankful to have Ellie home with us, and
to be able to watch her grow and learn. I think a lot of times we take the
little things for granted, but I remind myself every morning to take nothing
for granted. I savor every diaper change, screaming fit, snuggle, 5 am.
wake up call, sleepless night, and bad teething day. Ellie has taught us so
much. She helped us to appreciate the small things in life, helped us to
practice patience, given us hope, and demonstrated the power of prayer. She is
a true miracle and blessing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MohurNG7zBuzKPtMfu-HBfW3TTmFqa_Lx241eX1Znysabd4j9O-xQp8CwxjRgT-nqZGIFH2I0YkstG9cCGPC2U7_S4LQpebYhwpHAzdiQp0Gmwinwgp3cQcbMMS94ohaCDIS-guJ_hNL/s1600/IMG_2084.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MohurNG7zBuzKPtMfu-HBfW3TTmFqa_Lx241eX1Znysabd4j9O-xQp8CwxjRgT-nqZGIFH2I0YkstG9cCGPC2U7_S4LQpebYhwpHAzdiQp0Gmwinwgp3cQcbMMS94ohaCDIS-guJ_hNL/s320/IMG_2084.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-51362481213753570782013-10-14T22:42:00.000-07:002013-10-14T22:55:00.287-07:00What A Difference A Year Makes: Happy Birthday Ellie!<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Last night as I rocked my sweet little girl for the last time before she turned one, I thought about all that she has been through this past year, and how far she has come. </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLFs2N5SFlooy2f_jEylU70rKt4p5DjF2ijU4Vh2GM5YM4ybF0_a_wKHGjs8fu1Tz69lhxlpn59FTvQn8T3aZE3nVsZwP7asa77AnbUJvuczItiqdk0skET3Ss-bHebwnlO5TGbzT9S19/s1600/Ellieblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLFs2N5SFlooy2f_jEylU70rKt4p5DjF2ijU4Vh2GM5YM4ybF0_a_wKHGjs8fu1Tz69lhxlpn59FTvQn8T3aZE3nVsZwP7asa77AnbUJvuczItiqdk0skET3Ss-bHebwnlO5TGbzT9S19/s320/Ellieblog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
One year ago I was terrified for her. I was scared that she wouldn’t ever come home with us. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu4aNc0MB65bAv8-MGVbwwQjbnj0ehNCZclMr5U6lfwQc2_YokuknnmR1Gd0znAqiMMqT_JwWvEJooNJSjBNovvbvrZ-ikrGmziOCLLvPf9jjtH-TL1RKY0P6EfIxZfudmv_stI_a2tsWo/s1600/Ellieblog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu4aNc0MB65bAv8-MGVbwwQjbnj0ehNCZclMr5U6lfwQc2_YokuknnmR1Gd0znAqiMMqT_JwWvEJooNJSjBNovvbvrZ-ikrGmziOCLLvPf9jjtH-TL1RKY0P6EfIxZfudmv_stI_a2tsWo/s320/Ellieblog2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Through her first seven weeks I was scared. I was scared that she was going to die. It took the doctors and nurses 49 days before they were able to tell me that she would in fact be okay and would eventually go home with us. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiXxC7Vlt1p13MQMBi76xLWn2fYx9GfcRYKXsmZMXNVPa9yhvnUsjdnDxyXVIu_UV256lN25Bw2IglaxxdWcapIcL6Wyr7n7dNZFs24lG0gPQUIcZZojyiKwN5jZv-4YH4gD5vIIgFvmIK/s1600/ellieblog4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiXxC7Vlt1p13MQMBi76xLWn2fYx9GfcRYKXsmZMXNVPa9yhvnUsjdnDxyXVIu_UV256lN25Bw2IglaxxdWcapIcL6Wyr7n7dNZFs24lG0gPQUIcZZojyiKwN5jZv-4YH4gD5vIIgFvmIK/s320/ellieblog4.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
When I was in the hospital contracting on October 15, 2012, Dr. Hsaio came to introduce himself and tell us a little bit about what would happen if I were to deliver Ellie that night. He stood there and talked about all of the things that could potentially go wrong with Ellie. The picture that he painted for us was very grim, and I know that he had to do that to prepare us for what could happen. 1 in 10 premature babies develop a permanent disability. He said that she is at a very high risk for a severe brain bleed, cerebral palsy, blindness, deafness, Chronic Lung Disease and so many other things. This is what I was told just an hour before they wheeled me back into emergency surgery to deliver Ellie.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
49 days. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzh4BOw8W79EfcPuy5xwv5pykCTTL8kesm7w_k8mQ8KDKZTMmewwkzipdzcbf58KHECO-Fr3fpH9UnEY-6mp6jb1IHFeyX1a9cmerFAPHq63g1Yb7y_iiSyW1FlJLcpSlW2dyM55fMK1VG/s1600/Ellieblog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzh4BOw8W79EfcPuy5xwv5pykCTTL8kesm7w_k8mQ8KDKZTMmewwkzipdzcbf58KHECO-Fr3fpH9UnEY-6mp6jb1IHFeyX1a9cmerFAPHq63g1Yb7y_iiSyW1FlJLcpSlW2dyM55fMK1VG/s320/Ellieblog3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
It was the scariest 49 days of my life. For those 49 days we sat by Ellie's isolette and stared at it. There were a lot of days we weren’t even able to open up the curtain that covered the isolette to look at Ellie other than at diaper change time. It all depended on the day and how she was doing. So, if it was a day that we needed to let her rest in quiet and darkness then we just sat and looked at the isolette and prayed. </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX1J7mcJ91hbT6JnIgVrAKCxzTFjOorfm5EoSLYfG5OawekcjzK6bJ1yAkh7x7MDR7qeFOtNjjxH_rB9WsE84RQfShMZ-R8chAE80Cg7QY9k6ufh6BZtODFmqwew2sw-pSnsdvCJkq-s5X/s1600/Ellieblog5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX1J7mcJ91hbT6JnIgVrAKCxzTFjOorfm5EoSLYfG5OawekcjzK6bJ1yAkh7x7MDR7qeFOtNjjxH_rB9WsE84RQfShMZ-R8chAE80Cg7QY9k6ufh6BZtODFmqwew2sw-pSnsdvCJkq-s5X/s320/Ellieblog5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
During those 49 days we watched her struggle to breathe. She was what they called a “swinger” which means her oxygen would jump from high to low back up to high. We would watch her numbers and listen to the bells and whistles go off when her oxygen was too low. The nurses would sit close by so that they were able to easily adjust the oxygen up or down depending on how she was doing. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH5tmkmqhHudO7aDNAS3aI24TQ2etFeti2J6CIOTT5S-G5OwaSRhOs5gbzm4Vz813EYQTgB30821w0bpNBKeRdAPCqW331kupv5vWAnElep1t6f78sInt5Iw-4_4IKGK10UnJSqT2f4Zsi/s1600/ellieblog6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH5tmkmqhHudO7aDNAS3aI24TQ2etFeti2J6CIOTT5S-G5OwaSRhOs5gbzm4Vz813EYQTgB30821w0bpNBKeRdAPCqW331kupv5vWAnElep1t6f78sInt5Iw-4_4IKGK10UnJSqT2f4Zsi/s320/ellieblog6.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Since she required so much oxygen, I was unable to hold her for the first several weeks. To be able to get her out to hold, her oxygen needed to get below 30. Each night when I went home I would call several times throughout the night and the early morning to check on Ellie. The two questions I would always ask were: "What is her oxygen at?" and "Has she had any bradys?" </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGckY_tEZOgU0t9qgmYMggm1GV1vpdhmL7TUXm7zY-qQkJSbGhlzBqtoR4jfUf-pfNaVctg_Xq-mjOoksTssnJnPhH5Yk3VQw6PzcLNF1AfJ4EeKExWgYO3bq0GxVPoOxYOVbHn7zjMVIV/s1600/ellieblog7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGckY_tEZOgU0t9qgmYMggm1GV1vpdhmL7TUXm7zY-qQkJSbGhlzBqtoR4jfUf-pfNaVctg_Xq-mjOoksTssnJnPhH5Yk3VQw6PzcLNF1AfJ4EeKExWgYO3bq0GxVPoOxYOVbHn7zjMVIV/s320/ellieblog7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
One morning when we got to the hospital, the nurse asked me why I always asked what her oxygen was. I then told her that I hadn’t been “allowed” to hold Ellie in a couple weeks due to her oxygen number being so high, so it is a big deal to me. It was like although she knew the protocol on oxygen, it hadn’t occurred to her that I hadn’t been “allowed” to hold my baby in weeks. </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEt01GYiUEfQoLl_LepP6yvWnFo8VZu1rTMerLzwliuYVmgrcaNPp_kksqtkGYEnkd7LQYCB3WYEQBhbu7LBGlf6derdB1Tvw9nEr6airlaIHdthSn6F7hKg5N8Yt0Hm1qmOOzdXHpRoie/s1600/ellieblog8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEt01GYiUEfQoLl_LepP6yvWnFo8VZu1rTMerLzwliuYVmgrcaNPp_kksqtkGYEnkd7LQYCB3WYEQBhbu7LBGlf6derdB1Tvw9nEr6airlaIHdthSn6F7hKg5N8Yt0Hm1qmOOzdXHpRoie/s320/ellieblog8.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
One night at my 3:00 am call to the hospital the respiratory therapist that was on duty that night got on the phone to talk to me and sounded ecstatic because they were able to get her down to 28% oxygen for a few minutes. She knew how desperately I wanted to hold my baby and so she wanted me to know that they were working hard at getting her oxygen low enough for that to happen.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirV0QYcw-iuQQJ_BvtC0OvS1xVhgr5KZDJuX-ztkYk1JFvrlZ8TH-PTp665uF9FT6D3cCgAYKVIMcu8nsuFuMlksFBpufXLEvbDbTSLC_PU2CHzW0_1sxDGdxHew5V00ak2LKIqFfU9J6W/s1600/Elliespeical.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirV0QYcw-iuQQJ_BvtC0OvS1xVhgr5KZDJuX-ztkYk1JFvrlZ8TH-PTp665uF9FT6D3cCgAYKVIMcu8nsuFuMlksFBpufXLEvbDbTSLC_PU2CHzW0_1sxDGdxHew5V00ak2LKIqFfU9J6W/s320/Elliespeical.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Ellie was in the hospital for a total of 65 days, and at the time those days went by so slowly. It seemed as if the day was never going to come that she would be our “take home baby.” </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmgkkZTgfbyJQfmnNYJM6IYH7R2jF6SzRaVAKStTKiK86bdF6zRfPRezlYljHWubnXCYh0R5E7yldu_OURLvOqPet7Oyq0y08HaCmADxD5FKf0y3NOMjvEebIjCstiDaJecO09tFLQqlLz/s1600/elliespecial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmgkkZTgfbyJQfmnNYJM6IYH7R2jF6SzRaVAKStTKiK86bdF6zRfPRezlYljHWubnXCYh0R5E7yldu_OURLvOqPet7Oyq0y08HaCmADxD5FKf0y3NOMjvEebIjCstiDaJecO09tFLQqlLz/s320/elliespecial.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
After 65 long days of being in the hospital, we finally got to bring her home, and since then, the time has gone by so very quickly. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUXu5XZCsr6G4xGnr07gip_8gOBDRhQGc7w_50_f5ml_hpei72owO3J-343rpdKS_1dclMsKu3kQ86uaRmEmaAavi0xr6qyCtegSC34GbBkN3ipTTGa_CyE-rUJ6sYvEEMHJbABNhHbVeT/s1600/Ellieblog9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUXu5XZCsr6G4xGnr07gip_8gOBDRhQGc7w_50_f5ml_hpei72owO3J-343rpdKS_1dclMsKu3kQ86uaRmEmaAavi0xr6qyCtegSC34GbBkN3ipTTGa_CyE-rUJ6sYvEEMHJbABNhHbVeT/s320/Ellieblog9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
The thing that I learned from Robby’s death was to cherish every single moment. We only had two hours with him, and so I have spent every single moment of this last year with Ellie thanking God that we have longer with her. </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjitx2P4skmdabW-UfTFYNBfY8OZxnXamC-q-bl_BHhT6CBFmpkFSAuRgYUnYRNhSKtGB31HSEKQkZBhZnKzHcehViPZaVgQgqyKH7hTnihZgOS9G6zqSnAEJB4QhyphenhyphenpbClDFZTPjJkyrLOP/s1600/ellieblog11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjitx2P4skmdabW-UfTFYNBfY8OZxnXamC-q-bl_BHhT6CBFmpkFSAuRgYUnYRNhSKtGB31HSEKQkZBhZnKzHcehViPZaVgQgqyKH7hTnihZgOS9G6zqSnAEJB4QhyphenhyphenpbClDFZTPjJkyrLOP/s320/ellieblog11.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
This past year I have tried my hardest to savor every single moment with Ellie. Each tear, each and every middle of the night feeding, the spitting up, and even each teething poop, I have savored because we will not ever get this back.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ZqslT6N7eHx-ca1QRnafMzYNu6cOvmounzSNoj1LfK4Y4uLx1gR8XpwgrFcLO00fFqCingQvcldbYiUT9msVEpoondohl6MOmc_w4D8zVzwd_juRE7Vq1GO3hhsmAg_N_y1dVjvLHNGR/s1600/ellieblog13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ZqslT6N7eHx-ca1QRnafMzYNu6cOvmounzSNoj1LfK4Y4uLx1gR8XpwgrFcLO00fFqCingQvcldbYiUT9msVEpoondohl6MOmc_w4D8zVzwd_juRE7Vq1GO3hhsmAg_N_y1dVjvLHNGR/s320/ellieblog13.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Ellie has made it through so much this past year. She overcame having pneumonia, her ROP has resolved, her brain bleed resolved, and she stopped needing oxygen at 4 months old. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvDugu5r5j_bDA9JSzbt22y1uxdL3OHx1dOFNmlNOZGcs7HVACZTp9O3R8KFUREzzYFBSlvIYpC51pyu92UvkyydtHYbUb4tqvHE5Brz47mkZ06-K4GgPU_v6pGhoHXSEd7xQ7EjZ4SyYw/s1600/ellieblog16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvDugu5r5j_bDA9JSzbt22y1uxdL3OHx1dOFNmlNOZGcs7HVACZTp9O3R8KFUREzzYFBSlvIYpC51pyu92UvkyydtHYbUb4tqvHE5Brz47mkZ06-K4GgPU_v6pGhoHXSEd7xQ7EjZ4SyYw/s320/ellieblog16.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
In her admittance papers to Wesley, the nurse wrote down that she looked: “Quiet, depressed, and floppy.” One year later, she is Loud, happy, and we can’t get her to sit still! </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbFlZrFPULELWnahBcjHOYbK7y2HqQ8_0LM_Qr5JaOIHsb3TJo-9H2liajD5HVTI7sUnrd1YTXL7S9qYkcCyOmdlpxTQdW35_oKnfQIuDmN4lonRWvYl4BAvh7TWZ_bH0gw_P_fi9xM92w/s1600/ellieblog17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbFlZrFPULELWnahBcjHOYbK7y2HqQ8_0LM_Qr5JaOIHsb3TJo-9H2liajD5HVTI7sUnrd1YTXL7S9qYkcCyOmdlpxTQdW35_oKnfQIuDmN4lonRWvYl4BAvh7TWZ_bH0gw_P_fi9xM92w/s320/ellieblog17.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
When looking at her today, the only signs still visible from being a micro preemie are the scar on her chest where her CVC was placed, the scars on her heels from the dozens of heel pricks she endured, and two tiny spots on her head where hair does not grow due to the tape from the ventilator. </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr0NAhcQMenr5xk6545KgBw37SPkFkYRgMcR_NxuVIhqmTce_65735r6IPJrgyBYf5INLZj28lgdMPHw_TibzaJ1P65zRIEIeE4FBwQJ4Ex5ECMicWzkhJFVZrlw1MdnbBnoLLEIDmIS36/s1600/ellieblog18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr0NAhcQMenr5xk6545KgBw37SPkFkYRgMcR_NxuVIhqmTce_65735r6IPJrgyBYf5INLZj28lgdMPHw_TibzaJ1P65zRIEIeE4FBwQJ4Ex5ECMicWzkhJFVZrlw1MdnbBnoLLEIDmIS36/s320/ellieblog18.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
The one thing she has not yet overcome is her Chronic Lung Disease. Her lungs are still very fragile. Sometimes it is hard to remember that they are still so fragile, because she looks like a completely healthy baby. If she gets sick this year it will not be quite as bad as it would have been if she had gotten sick last year because she is bigger now- her lungs have grown. However, it will still be difficult for Ellie because of the Chronic Lung Disease and that is why the doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists at the hospital recommended being extra cautious with Ellie during her first two RSV seasons. Although Chronic Lung Disease can be, and is, very serious, we are thankful that this is her only lasting condition from being a micro preemie at 1 pound 12 ounces at birth.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhturqLd49XMZWN-RrzKcFGU5D0IULrtzPGjKaR54s03vJwvAgze0gg_8jPLLvpQrIHnW-nXCTb3vOG0fOGM5JirHwZa-Yj10ppOrNO-HSJRK3T4GtayyYgMKPaXeWYhDGnHkWtWj3flsYx/s1600/ellieblog19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhturqLd49XMZWN-RrzKcFGU5D0IULrtzPGjKaR54s03vJwvAgze0gg_8jPLLvpQrIHnW-nXCTb3vOG0fOGM5JirHwZa-Yj10ppOrNO-HSJRK3T4GtayyYgMKPaXeWYhDGnHkWtWj3flsYx/s320/ellieblog19.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am for all of the support that we have had this past year. All of the prayers have been deeply and sincerely appreciated. I truly believe that it was all of those prayers that got Ellie and us through her NICU stay. </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioDr3zHdIzB4WiXQQW3J-JcrYpiWRGSa5UDSTLTzjtugqQpmpjhGMKgzY4PjlK9LaX4vXY6A-Lgu3RW8lU3AStrGdRaqEFgXOFS7wWrflHisEYRuZzHpuevLBpkWUq-iYBpzHFW2VYYdHs/s1600/ellieblog20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioDr3zHdIzB4WiXQQW3J-JcrYpiWRGSa5UDSTLTzjtugqQpmpjhGMKgzY4PjlK9LaX4vXY6A-Lgu3RW8lU3AStrGdRaqEFgXOFS7wWrflHisEYRuZzHpuevLBpkWUq-iYBpzHFW2VYYdHs/s320/ellieblog20.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
I have recently gone back through each and every one of the updates that my mom made on the Loving Ellie page. It is absolutely amazing to go back through and see all of the comments, love and concern from everyone, and it just brought me to tears. Thank you so much to everyone who has been “Loving Ellie” this past year. We are so lucky to have such amazing family and friends. </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirgU2YiuJQoWwCcXz7XT0TbuNJdGxFQmmDoAWisDeTzTUHNIXGCHAAt7rONc5rpfN2XCjG1ZHQ2fKOsUo3trP3NyzcjAwHGD5PTzA2buNqlfOUzV7YZ9IogTj0TNlmSQeR1w_8YOJy97vw/s1600/ellieblog21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirgU2YiuJQoWwCcXz7XT0TbuNJdGxFQmmDoAWisDeTzTUHNIXGCHAAt7rONc5rpfN2XCjG1ZHQ2fKOsUo3trP3NyzcjAwHGD5PTzA2buNqlfOUzV7YZ9IogTj0TNlmSQeR1w_8YOJy97vw/s320/ellieblog21.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
On the night that Ellie was born, I was scared, and I didn’t know what was in store for us, but tonight- one year later- I am not scared, but thankful. Thankful that despite the rough start Ellie had to her first year of life, that she is now healthy, happy, and thriving. In the past couple of weeks several people have asked me if I am sad that she is about to turn one, and I always respond that her birthday is nothing to be sad about. Ellie’s birthday is something to celebrate and praise God for. I tell them that you should never be sad that your baby is growing up, be glad that they have to opportunity TO grow up.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZIxGTlpLjyN5_1qW3vALWZZNh8tMn38fkPw-YZ9G19NVfPw_ryW8QIdZPhXGp4oSQSYVUrYwH5K6-3h93oChg77KiQZJep9eYjBwlUaZpFcx_bHuuF1byMxIURXi2l9fnG_hdAJsr-mpZ/s1600/ellieblog23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZIxGTlpLjyN5_1qW3vALWZZNh8tMn38fkPw-YZ9G19NVfPw_ryW8QIdZPhXGp4oSQSYVUrYwH5K6-3h93oChg77KiQZJep9eYjBwlUaZpFcx_bHuuF1byMxIURXi2l9fnG_hdAJsr-mpZ/s320/ellieblog23.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-top: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Ellie’s first 65 days of life was scary. I remember the night that I was discharged from the hospital, my mom and I stayed even though we did not have anywhere to sleep other than hard chairs. We carried everything we needed with us in backpacks. I remember asking her that night how we would make it through. She told me “I don’t know, but we will figure it out, and we will get through this.” </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSXc347YmcPGNC6068Vi38Fvj5JDj8MQbYwzVW-m6uLSuDfXSUPugSN6qtu8Oeti5sPhCiaOLcmrBHYHVvovieT5_nzuTCnWcUe8IARiYyblcjBoXG7p4J2fn2wtQOHQNF6jrQVOfOQPrz/s1600/ellieblog24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSXc347YmcPGNC6068Vi38Fvj5JDj8MQbYwzVW-m6uLSuDfXSUPugSN6qtu8Oeti5sPhCiaOLcmrBHYHVvovieT5_nzuTCnWcUe8IARiYyblcjBoXG7p4J2fn2wtQOHQNF6jrQVOfOQPrz/s320/ellieblog24.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-top: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-top: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
"You'll get through this. It won't be painless. It won't be quick. But God will use this mess for good. In the meantime don't be foolish or naive. But don't despair. With God's help you will get through this." *Max Luccado </div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-top: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizeDYaa6tO3YVLNx8XWSdcgXndOo_3B-Vs_Hx5l390GswqbDELCNZI-T_8TWgzmuLaukD3Wki61beYkEHaxQLAd9vsPHdg1kiL6kOyNCRiZDYaFNUcwslXUjd9TN9aATVsSaACubtjScLS/s1600/IMG_7392.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizeDYaa6tO3YVLNx8XWSdcgXndOo_3B-Vs_Hx5l390GswqbDELCNZI-T_8TWgzmuLaukD3Wki61beYkEHaxQLAd9vsPHdg1kiL6kOyNCRiZDYaFNUcwslXUjd9TN9aATVsSaACubtjScLS/s320/IMG_7392.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-top: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
Happy 1st Birthday Princess. Although your first year started out rough, you were a strong little fighter and have made it though. We have made it through with the help of God, family, friends, and many prayers. We are all stronger because of it. You bring us happiness and joy every single day. It brings me so much joy to be able to watch you grow and learn new things. You are beautiful and perfect, and you have been since the night you were born. You truly are our shining rainbow of hope, and I love you so very much.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-top: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO0ZlhCwg2UFpZVMnD6ujTSzpAUJNEhPYAlK9IDAde1VEFRfk6ueqhZcGf1vlfp3WegG4lljecirCWWbcvnMF0dQ8DtlFAOhb9gKwCH_N7_Urh94bNgYw_qJfQf_HcmwKp6YZ4lGenjOMP/s1600/collage12mo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO0ZlhCwg2UFpZVMnD6ujTSzpAUJNEhPYAlK9IDAde1VEFRfk6ueqhZcGf1vlfp3WegG4lljecirCWWbcvnMF0dQ8DtlFAOhb9gKwCH_N7_Urh94bNgYw_qJfQf_HcmwKp6YZ4lGenjOMP/s320/collage12mo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px; margin-top: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<br /></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-57951988949696206682013-04-11T17:53:00.000-07:002013-04-11T17:54:26.517-07:00In Ellie's Honor <div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Every day thousands of babies
are born too soon. When babies are born too early they are often very sick and some don't make it.</span></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 12pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><br />
Last year I gave birth to two babies-one in February and one in October. Both Robby
and Ellie were born prematurely at 23 and 26 weeks respectively. Unfortunately
Robby did not survive. He lived for two hours before he died because his lungs
were too immature and therefore he was unable to breathe. <br />
<br />
After Robby was born I was told that I had gone into premature labor. My big
question was "why?", but unfortunately nobody could give me the
answer to that question, not even our Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist here
in town. I was told to try to get pregnant again because “there was no reason
why it should have happened." </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Well, it happened again when
Ellie was born at 26 weeks 3 days gestation. Luckily, I made it far
enough with Ellie, that she not only survived, but she is thriving. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Each year, the March of Dimes
hosts the Walk for Babies in different cities around the United States.
The one here in Wichita was April 6, but because Ellie has chronic lung disease
and the walk was scheduled at the tail end of RSV season, we decided it would
be best for us to pass walking this year. I look forward to the day that our
family can walk together in honor of Ellie, and in memory of Robby. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">A fellow January mom, Amanda
Pansey, is walking in honor of Ellie in her hometown. I met Amanda through
an online support group for women who were due in January. She is a part of
Ellie’s facebook group (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/292236994210901/" target="_blank">Loving Ellie</a>) and has been watching her grow. I
feel so very blessed to have so many people like Amanda that have taken such an
interest in Ellie and have been praying daily for her health! We are so very lucky to
have people that were total strangers to us just months ago participate in
events like this for Ellie! Thank you Amanda Pansey for walking for Ellie!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">A donation to the March of Dimes
goes to research that could help determine the causes of premature labor as
well as things that doctor’s can do to prevent or stop preterm labor from
happening and things that can be done after a baby is born prematurely to help
improve their quality of life. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Right now there are several
studies being funded by the March of Dimes that are near to my heart. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">In a research study being help
at Duke University, <b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-weight: normal;">Richard Lambert Auten, MD is looking for ways to help
prevent premature babies from having BPD, or as it is often referred to-
Chronic Lung Disease. They are looking for ways to better deliver nitric
oxide to the lungs of babies who are likely to get Chronic Lung Disease.
Chronic Lung Disease happens when a baby has to be on oxygen support for longer
than 28 days of life. Since Ellie was on oxygen until she was 4 months old, she
has chronic lung disease. What this means is that her lungs are weaker than the
“normal” lungs, and because of this if she gets sick, she will get sicker than
most babies, and have a harder time recovering. Ellie’s Chronic Lung
Disease is the reason why we have been in isolation this winter. So very few people
have been able to meet our sweet little miracle, because this is RSV season,
and if Ellie were to get RSV, it is likely she would end up back in the
hospital and possibly on a ventilator. </span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-weight: normal;">At
the University of Nevada, Iain L. Buxton, is </span></b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">studying variant versions of a protein
structure in uterine muscle cells to see if any of these variants are linked
with preterm labor. These structures appear to help keep the uterus relaxed
during pregnancy. If women who are at risk for premature labor can be
identified early, then steps can be made to help prevent premature labor. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-weight: normal;">Stephen
Lye,</span></b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"> is holding a
research study at the Mount Sinai Hospital, University of Toronto Canada, that
is looking into how inflammatory proteins (cytokines) produced by the uterus
can contribute to triggering preterm labor. Cytokines are the first step
in the onset of autoimmune diseases. With an autoimmune disease, the body
attacks its own cells. Since this study is being done on cytokines and
cytokines are the first step in the onset of autoimmune diseases, it is my hope
that in some way this study will help link autoimmune diseases to premature
labor. I truly believe that my autoimmune issues (fibromyalgia and rheumatoid
arthritis) contributed to my premature labor. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">All of the studies above are
examples of why I support March of Dimes. They are funding research studies
that could help prevent premature labor. Although I doubt we will have any
concrete answers in time for me to carry anymore children, it is my hope that
Ellie’s generation will benefit from this research that we are helping to fund
by supporting people like Amanda Pansey and the walk for the March of Dimes. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"><a href="http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?pp=4797183&ct=4&w=6078435&u=apansey87" target="_blank">Click here to donate to Amanda Pansey's Walk for Babies</a> </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.marchofdimes.com/mission/prematurity.html" target="_blank">Click here to learn more about the March of Dimes</a></span></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-28677503821947098922013-02-24T14:51:00.000-08:002014-08-03T19:56:39.753-07:00Happy Birthday Robby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOhapuyVdKWltVJ6-YPjG163heaeIZ1VUgFHk3IW4ZKMJ2gLiZ_zw066tEQ0YQY5PMbgntLaQpqF6RXZ_-DcnIa85erfDu9XiAOblylnlCCCge9K8nJOJ4jbB1GsfLi-hATv0Q1UwSAQ8Z/s1600/IMG_2087.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOhapuyVdKWltVJ6-YPjG163heaeIZ1VUgFHk3IW4ZKMJ2gLiZ_zw066tEQ0YQY5PMbgntLaQpqF6RXZ_-DcnIa85erfDu9XiAOblylnlCCCge9K8nJOJ4jbB1GsfLi-hATv0Q1UwSAQ8Z/s320/IMG_2087.JPG" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">One year ago today I gave birth to
the most beautiful, perfect little boy, Robert James Smith.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">After Robby was born I struggled
with all of the “what ifs”, but the time when the "what ifs" were
the worst was when we were in the NICU with Ellie.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
I was pregnant with Ellie I
knew that I could not and would not go to the same hospital that I had
Robby at. I researched
the local hospitals and found that Wesley Medical Center by far had the
best NICU.
The way Wesley's NICU is set up, everything is very open so you hear
and
see most everything going on. Nearly every single day of Ellie’s NICU
stay we
heard at least one story about a 23 weeker ( most of the time boys) who
they
(the doctors and staff at Wesley) were able to save. The people who
told
us these stories most of the time had no idea that just 8 months prior I
had
given birth to a 23 weeker who did not make it. I know they thought that
they
were giving us stories of hope since Ellie was a 26 weeker. One doctor
told me
that 16 years ago in the exact same spot that Ellie was in (Team 1, Bed
8) , a
23 week boy’s isolette had been and now he is a happy, healthy young
man who had very recently been back to visit the doctors in the NICU.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Stories like those were hard for me
to swallow, and inevitably these stories pulled me back into “what if
land", but the day that I almost broke was the day that a 23 week girl was
admitted to our team- right across the way from Ellie. What made it even
worse was that when I went to wash my hands one day and I glanced over at her
name tag, I saw that this little girl weighed exactly what Robby weighed- 1
pound, 4 ounces. I spent the next several days by Ellie’s isolette crying, and
feeling guilty.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I felt guilty because I couldn't
stop the “what ifs” from going through my head:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">What if I had researched the local
hospitals when I was pregnant with Robby?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">What if we had been at Wesley when he was born?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If we had gone to Wesley instead of
St. Teresa's they might have been able to save him!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then I felt guilty for thinking
these things because if Robby were here, we wouldn’t have Ellie.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then one day a very kind, but very
blunt respiratory therapist, Deb, leveled with me. She told me that on average
the 23 weekers don’t do well and some of the ones that we were hearing about
that did do well possibly had their dates off and/or weren't true 23 weekers. If
they were true 23 weekers, the stories that I kept hearing were probably
about babies that were 23 weeks, 6 days, where as Robby was born the day I hit
23 weeks. Each day at that gestation makes a world of difference- the difference between life and death.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She kept reassuring me that the 23
weekers that she sees in the NICU are older 23 weekers or their dates were off,
so the baby is more developed than an average 23 weeker would be. She went into
all of the problems that the 23 weekers can have. She even went so far as to
tell me that with a 23 week boy a lot of the time you sit by the bedside and
watch your baby die- a little at a time. After we told her our story she told
us that she truly believes that the hospital we were at did the right thing by
not saving him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I believe that God placed us in that
NICU with Deb for a reason. If it weren’t for Deb, I would most likely still be spending my
days in “what if” land,” because of all of the stories I heard while we were in
the NICU. She pulled me into reality, and assured me that the hospital did the
right thing. Being in the NICU forced me into dealing with all of the “what if”
questions that I had. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I still have some momentary lapses
back into “what if land,” but one year later, a NICU stay later, a very blunt
respiratory therapist later, a miracle little girl we call Ellie later, and I finally feel as if I am coming to terms
with Robby’s death.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There will always be a place in my
heart for Robby, however I don’t want to be one of those people who spend their
whole life dwelling on what could have been. There is a fine line between
remembering and dwelling. Today I want to remember Robby, but not dwell on the
fact that he isn’t here. I don’t want to be stuck in the past. I need to
keep moving forward with his memory in my heart. I miss him so much, and I wish
that he could be here, but that is not my reality. If I spend all of my time
and energy wondering “what if” and dwelling, then I would miss out on what is right here-
our little miracle baby, Ellie. Ellie is getting so many extra kisses, hugs,
rocks, and cuddles because we were only able to cuddle Robby for 2 short hours
before he was gone. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Here is a sweet message that I got from Brittany as she remembers Robby today. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Hey Amanda- I hope that you are doing ok. 1 year ago today we were all
hoping that Robby wouldn't be born this early but he was! We miss him
sooooooooo much! But I am also happy that Ellie is here and is as healthy as
she is and getting bigger and bigger each day! Robby knows how much we love him
even though we (Brooke, Brittany, Courtney, and Abby) didn't actually get to
meet him! He would be so happy to meet his stylin sister Ellie if he was here!
Miss u guys! Love~aunt Bri Bri"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Today I don’t want to spend my day
mourning Robby, but instead celebrating him, because his memory deserves to be
celebrated. Today I want to remember the good times we had when I was
pregnant with him and planning our life with him- the times that made us smile.
Today and every February 24 we will celebrate Robby Day and we will be happy
for our little boy who is watching over us and his little sister from heaven.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In honor of Robby Day I want to share some of my favorite pictures and memories of the time I was pregnant with him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYOFa0ZeDVoCNVlfuQtY9onrmpmU0v3q8rlI6-ghyphenhyphenHLKZjqzDCpo4g8Uyy6hNC8imOA8NHGKK1QZEUIZiSmnPDKiJLYuMzYU8vAgu2nmbDEMYh4c_PTSTri8qhExwEAxrrVhpINOptCNep/s1600/1year1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYOFa0ZeDVoCNVlfuQtY9onrmpmU0v3q8rlI6-ghyphenhyphenHLKZjqzDCpo4g8Uyy6hNC8imOA8NHGKK1QZEUIZiSmnPDKiJLYuMzYU8vAgu2nmbDEMYh4c_PTSTri8qhExwEAxrrVhpINOptCNep/s320/1year1.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiab_8XgPiTd1B_KPMBHfjXx7Gl-CZxqa8co7jlNpyUy8I6RgrJKAOkhUhiR5GRLOb4ulfbbQPsQAMAUrzCB4RGgtkjmSiGwe5FH7wsL7bxV7VEeflr-sruyKT4ziyjPiCVC4xX9ld6LrmX/s1600/1year5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga7EQel82WNhu8xpq2riFGdsS-LH1IGThwsqsVoqaYxIvUVIthGFL1bbRe8DYwHgtJ2VdJFkcQ12xrBNNufowOWdo8Gl_c49lc8zIgFDzGram5rQkDAnOAaSxfpFMhNVnqBhOzejpUrsuY/s1600/1year4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
Other than my parents and brother, the girls were the first ones to know our little secret! My plan was to wait awhile before telling them, but I just couldn't keep it to myself! I got them all gifts with a different baby item in each...Abby was the first one to figure out what it meant!<br />
<br />
One of my favorite quotes from Brittany:<br />
<br />
" You mean you were TRYING and you didn't even tell us?!?!"<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-xFoSx5DKxSuZz3eSBLSGsrNTxH62k4sFw5hKSeg9PZuG3WOy_OKdjKAAyWOyukWvD8r4oNW7Z3xDtIs8Qpxw9B1xBzS1_0LnB4QGuGiiNjQRrUZwDIZb5I-CrleZamDkfJKaB_BWNSYV/s1600/1year3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-xFoSx5DKxSuZz3eSBLSGsrNTxH62k4sFw5hKSeg9PZuG3WOy_OKdjKAAyWOyukWvD8r4oNW7Z3xDtIs8Qpxw9B1xBzS1_0LnB4QGuGiiNjQRrUZwDIZb5I-CrleZamDkfJKaB_BWNSYV/s1600/1year3.jpg" /></a></div>
After our first sonogram appointment on November 11, we announced our pregnancy to facebook with this announcement! It took us about 25 different tries in the photobooth to get it perfect!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLRHaYKmhnYjuy254PRGuHi60LfmDe2V2LHivbheIJncDsmOaMwfkKSmRdz5iZgAVY2jSufOtXc1k2bS3TuVxyhizHwgn-lLTNM941hwZ0k1YtBT0wh31_66bxdleo-fyJbtz9PI1BRSlJ/s1600/1year10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLRHaYKmhnYjuy254PRGuHi60LfmDe2V2LHivbheIJncDsmOaMwfkKSmRdz5iZgAVY2jSufOtXc1k2bS3TuVxyhizHwgn-lLTNM941hwZ0k1YtBT0wh31_66bxdleo-fyJbtz9PI1BRSlJ/s320/1year10.jpg" height="247" width="320" /></a></div>
This picture is from our NT scan at 12 weeks. The four girls went to this appointment with us so that they could see the baby. The tech was not happy that they came with us to such a "serious appointment," but looking back now I am so glad that they went, because that was the only time they were able to see Robby.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga7EQel82WNhu8xpq2riFGdsS-LH1IGThwsqsVoqaYxIvUVIthGFL1bbRe8DYwHgtJ2VdJFkcQ12xrBNNufowOWdo8Gl_c49lc8zIgFDzGram5rQkDAnOAaSxfpFMhNVnqBhOzejpUrsuY/s1600/1year4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga7EQel82WNhu8xpq2riFGdsS-LH1IGThwsqsVoqaYxIvUVIthGFL1bbRe8DYwHgtJ2VdJFkcQ12xrBNNufowOWdo8Gl_c49lc8zIgFDzGram5rQkDAnOAaSxfpFMhNVnqBhOzejpUrsuY/s320/1year4.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
This was taken the day we went to Oklahoma City to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. Up until that morning I knew we were going to have a girl, but when I woke up that morning, I just knew that we were going to have a little boy.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj69CR0ILseiDho-dhYsXtqpLfLDuh4z_sDtlcNJ7ce211D32eyMocLwyqlYfel7wuFndE_VlCcNu7KyPkacMz_jOijWIu4JnpIGgsPwe-nwXtRytH8o0XM_2W0MvZ_GgVW5f68ueshGMRr/s1600/1year8.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj69CR0ILseiDho-dhYsXtqpLfLDuh4z_sDtlcNJ7ce211D32eyMocLwyqlYfel7wuFndE_VlCcNu7KyPkacMz_jOijWIu4JnpIGgsPwe-nwXtRytH8o0XM_2W0MvZ_GgVW5f68ueshGMRr/s320/1year8.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
The four girls came over that night to find out what the gender was. I made up a scavenger hunt game for them. They ran all around the house finding clues that led them to four balloons, and in the balloons were pieces of paper that would tell them boy or girl.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhin0ChBp8zUQbzuL8KwsdAeBglXe6oMsn8811CP9xVYsSUAjQYW3UsSn9JzMQ0A8xm6eaWkKX6nrgDeCAxWfnEmRAZzgNGaoYtBSIvLgnXBnDV6ZdNfgF7rts6AXT5QAEyhwFVKDwkKbf-/s1600/1year9.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhin0ChBp8zUQbzuL8KwsdAeBglXe6oMsn8811CP9xVYsSUAjQYW3UsSn9JzMQ0A8xm6eaWkKX6nrgDeCAxWfnEmRAZzgNGaoYtBSIvLgnXBnDV6ZdNfgF7rts6AXT5QAEyhwFVKDwkKbf-/s320/1year9.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
They were all so excited!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiab_8XgPiTd1B_KPMBHfjXx7Gl-CZxqa8co7jlNpyUy8I6RgrJKAOkhUhiR5GRLOb4ulfbbQPsQAMAUrzCB4RGgtkjmSiGwe5FH7wsL7bxV7VEeflr-sruyKT4ziyjPiCVC4xX9ld6LrmX/s1600/1year5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiab_8XgPiTd1B_KPMBHfjXx7Gl-CZxqa8co7jlNpyUy8I6RgrJKAOkhUhiR5GRLOb4ulfbbQPsQAMAUrzCB4RGgtkjmSiGwe5FH7wsL7bxV7VEeflr-sruyKT4ziyjPiCVC4xX9ld6LrmX/s320/1year5.jpg" height="320" width="174" /></a></div>
This is the day that I felt Robby move for the first time- Super Bowl Sunday!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaHonmGr6TTBubnbq-VI66CEaAvQqOgQClvvQduky1yvAtnL4DqpKsgR_eupljTq47Pohahj1tPsBsKxtKneoHELsZbM5-scYN_sne5PGqi9Tp1Hwrg8ApV3jiFcAhcvkxjl_2yRHA-d0/s1600/1year6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaHonmGr6TTBubnbq-VI66CEaAvQqOgQClvvQduky1yvAtnL4DqpKsgR_eupljTq47Pohahj1tPsBsKxtKneoHELsZbM5-scYN_sne5PGqi9Tp1Hwrg8ApV3jiFcAhcvkxjl_2yRHA-d0/s320/1year6.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
I had so much fun picking out Robby's nursery theme! I love Dr. Seuss and I was having so much fun putting his room together.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikzuBCFCm-ViodCJUQ9gWUBG0tOi-utJqf3kl-2xbqDilYRvKHK1BoQ5NqS-OlVgu_24Fx-pjcogseHcNjZhdKVR0SVx1nk1nxk4xyN1N9J5pzVgyNtIrZfmjQGGVFP9x2bSbslGPniO6Y/s1600/1year2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikzuBCFCm-ViodCJUQ9gWUBG0tOi-utJqf3kl-2xbqDilYRvKHK1BoQ5NqS-OlVgu_24Fx-pjcogseHcNjZhdKVR0SVx1nk1nxk4xyN1N9J5pzVgyNtIrZfmjQGGVFP9x2bSbslGPniO6Y/s320/1year2.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
This was my very last bump picture. I was really starting to show and I loved showing off my beautiful Robby bump.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip75quoW4SWpvUk7j6cKnHZ14XJv20lVjelyqrgP8_qiHZHAdG00CHyTiUinRCVK5cgM0E45JQDBl5cioLcBaxhM5GfP66fLzEaLnjupbIgs7vn7Of7s7C2Kv-fq4TsSP0ZK7w_uIgm3g7/s1600/SCAN0024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip75quoW4SWpvUk7j6cKnHZ14XJv20lVjelyqrgP8_qiHZHAdG00CHyTiUinRCVK5cgM0E45JQDBl5cioLcBaxhM5GfP66fLzEaLnjupbIgs7vn7Of7s7C2Kv-fq4TsSP0ZK7w_uIgm3g7/s320/SCAN0024.JPG" height="216" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"The love of a parent is not contingent upon the amount of time we had with our child. Love simply cannot be measured in time."<br />
<br />
~ JoanneCacciatore<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj69CR0ILseiDho-dhYsXtqpLfLDuh4z_sDtlcNJ7ce211D32eyMocLwyqlYfel7wuFndE_VlCcNu7KyPkacMz_jOijWIu4JnpIGgsPwe-nwXtRytH8o0XM_2W0MvZ_GgVW5f68ueshGMRr/s1600/1year8.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhin0ChBp8zUQbzuL8KwsdAeBglXe6oMsn8811CP9xVYsSUAjQYW3UsSn9JzMQ0A8xm6eaWkKX6nrgDeCAxWfnEmRAZzgNGaoYtBSIvLgnXBnDV6ZdNfgF7rts6AXT5QAEyhwFVKDwkKbf-/s1600/1year9.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoaHonmGr6TTBubnbq-VI66CEaAvQqOgQClvvQduky1yvAtnL4DqpKsgR_eupljTq47Pohahj1tPsBsKxtKneoHELsZbM5-scYN_sne5PGqi9Tp1Hwrg8ApV3jiFcAhcvkxjl_2yRHA-d0/s1600/1year6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-81343890772256940532013-02-04T19:06:00.000-08:002013-02-04T19:23:21.381-08:00Amanda's Life For $800, Alex!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></b>Since starting
Ellie’s facebook page, a lot of people have been welcomed into our lives as we
share every detail about Ellie's health, daily life, and medical care and
treatments. Many of these people have become very dear to our hearts and we
truly appreciate how much they care about Ellie. I made a list of the questions
that I get asked frequently (whether in person, facebook message, or email) so
that you can all know and understand a little bit more about me. <br />
<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How are you doing emotionally?</b> I am
so thankful for Ellie. I know that with her being born at 26 weeks, so many
things could have gone wrong during her NICU stay, and we could have been there
much longer. Having Ellie here doesn’t make the pain of losing Robby any less,
but she is certainly the bright spot in my life. It is hard to be sad when I
look at her sweet little face every day. Robby’s angelversary (the day he went
to heaven) is quickly approaching, which has been difficult for me. <br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why don't you drive?</b> I don’t drive
because I lack feeling in my hands a lot of the time due to my neuropathy. I
remember the last day I drove because when I went to park my car, I wasn’t able
to get my car out of gear. It took me several minutes and a lot of pain
to accomplish this small task. On that same trip I was unable to turn the
steering wheel at the intersection where I needed to turn. It was frightening
going through a light when I should have turned. I ended up detouring to get to
my destination. At that point I knew that it was not safe for me to continue
driving. When I was about 16 I started having trouble with my hands, but
instead of just admitting that I was having a problem with my hands I just
passed off me not driving very much to the fact that I didn’t care to drive. I
didn’t want anyone to know about my hand problems, but as I got older the
weakness in my hands just got worse and the point came when it was time to give
up driving and admit to everyone why I didn’t drive. Someday when I am able to
get on medicine I would love to be able to drive again!<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How are you and Tanner doing?</b> Tanner
and I are doing good. We have been through a lot in our relationship, and this
is just another chapter in our story. It has been very hard being away from him
for so long, but we do not want to put Ellie at risk of getting sick. Since
Tanner works in retail he is exposed to all kinds of junk during RSV and flu
season. We have to be extra careful with Ellie because of her Chronic Lung
Disease, so even though I hate being away from Tanner, for now it is what is
best for Ellie.<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Are you going to homeschool Ellie since
you were homeschooled</b>? Yes, the plan is for me to homeschool Ellie. I loved
being homeschooled- it was a wonderful experience for me, and I can’t wait to
homeschool Ellie!<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How is your c-section recovery going?</b>
Recovery from my c-section was actually very easy. I was sore for a few
days, but since I am used to being in pain most of the time, it really did not
seem that bad. My doctor doesn’t use staples, so that was very helpful.
The only time my incision hurt really bad was when I laughed, and when you have
a baby in the NICU, laughs are few and far between, so it really wasn’t too
bad!<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When are going to finish college?</b>
I am a senior and very close to graduating with my Elementary Education degree,
but the classes that I have left all require me to do a lot of time in the
Elementary schools. This wouldn’t be a big deal for most mothers of typical
newborns, but since Ellie has Chronic Lung Disease I have to be extra careful.
If I decide to finish my Elementary Education degree I will wait until Ellie is
at least two years old to go back into the schools. Recently I have been
thinking about just finishing up with a Liberal Arts degree so that I can be
finished. I can always go back later to student teach which would allow me to
get my Education degree.<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why do you live with your parents?</b>
When Tanner and I got married my health was very poor. I was in a wheelchair
most of the time, and I needed help doing simple things such as showering,
fixing my hair, and getting dressed. I am not on any medication right now due
to the fact that when we got married we planned to start trying to get pregnant
right away and the medication out there for Rheumatoid Arthritis and
Fibromyalgia is not safe for pregnant/breastfeeding women. We basically have
half of my parent’s house which gives us plenty of room. We have three
bedrooms, a bathroom, living room, a kitchen and a dinette area. Now that Ellie
is here I doubt (even if we could) that they would let us leave anytime soon
because they love being able to see her everyday and they are so in love with
their granddaughter! I am thankful that we have the option to live with
my parents as the extra help is needed and greatly appreciated! <br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Are you going to
have any more children?</b> Our plan before we lost Robby was to have several
children very close together, but after we lost Robby our plan changed to
several children all spread out. Well, now we have to re-think that plan.
Because of my health issues and the two preterm births, we are leaning towards
me not carrying another child. However, we do want more children. <br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Have you thought
about adoption?</b> Tanner and I have seriously considered adoption. It
is something that I wanted to do even before I realized that I might not be
able to carry another child to term. We have also looked into a gestational
carrier. The difference between a surrogate and a gestational carrier is that
the baby that she would be carrying would be genetically mine and Tanner’s
child. It is mine and Tanner’s prayer that if this is the road for us to
take that God will put someone in our life that is willing to carry a child for
us. <br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why did you get pregnant so soon after
losing Robby?</b> I got asked this question a lot while Ellie was in the NICU.
When many of the nurses figured out that I had Robby in February 2012,
prematurely, they questioned why I got pregnant so soon. Some people are
genuinely curious, but others made me feel as if Ellie’s premature birth was my
fault because I got pregnant so soon after having him. This did quite a job on
my emotions right after delivery. I had several meltdowns due to this
question and the judgment I received. There were times that they had me
convinced that it truly was my fault, but I just had to be reminded by my mom
that Dr. O’Hara gave me the a-ok. Right after giving birth to Robby I
went to go see an MFM, Dr. O’Hara, who told me that (after running several
tests) there was no reason for us to wait to get pregnant. Her reasoning was
that Robby wasn’t considered viable at his 23 week gestation, (viability is 24
weeks) so we didn’t have to follow the normal guidelines. She believed that
getting pregnant would be best for my mental health. So, I got pregnant so soon
because an expert told me that it was okay. Tanner and I wanted to try again as
soon as possible, and we did. <br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Will your fibro,
arthritis, neuropathy ever go away?</b> No, they won’t ever go away. Hopefully
once I am done breastfeeding I will be able to find a medication that will help
to ease my pain. Since all of my health issues are chronic, so they don’t go
away. With the fibromyalgia I did go into remission when I was pregnant with
Robby and it stayed in remission until 16 days after having Ellie. I am so
thankful for that time that I was free of the fibromyalgia!<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Is Ellie's room done yet?</b> No, her
room is still not done! I have a few projects that I am still working on,
but we are getting close! Ellie's room is the room we had put together for
Robby and I didn't re-do it at all during my pregnancy with Ellie so there was
plenty to do! It would be much easier to finish her room if I were able to get
out and shop, but since I am unable to get out it is taking much longer than I
would like it too! As soon as it is done, I will post pictures.<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Is it hard being stuck at home all the
time?</b> Yes, it is hard being stuck at home. I would love to be able to get
out and do my own grocery shopping, buy stuff for Ellie, eat a meal at Texas
Roadhouse or even just take a stroll around Target while drinking some
Starbucks. However, I know that this is what is best for Ellie. If I were to go
to the grocery store then I am exposing myself to all kind of germs, and since
I have a weak immune system, the chances of me getting sick and bringing
something home to Ellie would be very high. I am so thankful that she is home,
and if staying home from January through April is what is best for her, then
that is what I will do! <br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Did you go into pre term labor because
you are too small or maybe you didn't gain enough weight? </b>This question
always makes me laugh. If you turn on MTV and watch an episode or two of Teen
Mom or 16 and Pregnant, you will see girls who are much smaller than me, and
they manage to have full term babies. Neither of my high risk doctors were
concerned with my weight at all. When I questioned if my lack of weight gain
was an issue, Dr. O'Hara told me that the most important time to gain is in
your third trimester. Well, I didn’t ever make it that far! <br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What would you have done differently in
your pregnancy if you could go back? </b>While I was pregnant with Ellie I
refused to buy anything for her and I wouldn’t work on her nursery. If I would
have had a crystal ball and knew for certain that Ellie would come home, I
would have done things differently. I would have gone shopping for her so that
when she arrived she could have had tons of clothes, tu-tu’s, and hair bows! I
also would have gotten her nursery all ready for her. I was so terrified
of losing her and having to pack her stuff up like we had to do with Robby that
I just didn't buy a thing. <br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Is Delphine a family name?</b> Yes,
Ellie is named after her great-great-grandmother. My great-grandmother and I
were very close. We shared a birthday, and she was very special to me. She was
a strong, Christian woman, and when we learned that Ellie was a girl, I knew
that I wanted our little girl to be just like her.<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You and your mom seem very close, but
does she ever get on your nerves? </b>My mom and I have always been very close,
and we are very used to being with each other all of the time. We definitely
have our moments, but overall we get along extremely well. She really is my
best friend, and I don’t know what I would do without her!<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Are you going to write a book? Or....as
Nanny says:"Amanda needs to write a book!"</b> I love to read, and
because of my love for reading I have always wanted to write a children’s book,
but I wasn’t ever sure what topic I would write about. Well, after this past
year, I have come up with two topics that I would love to write about- being a
NICU baby, and being the child after a late loss. I know that there is already
a book out there about being the child after a late loss, but I don’t feel that
this topic is a “one book fits all” type of topic. Different people handle
their losses differently. I know that these books wouldn’t ever become best
sellers, but they are two topics that are very dear to my heart. <br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How long is your mom going to continue
to update Ellie’s page? </b>My mom plans on continuing to update Ellie’s page
as long as people are interested! We love having it especially now during RSV
season so that we can keep family and friends updated with Ellie’s new pictures
and her progress. We hate not being able to have visitors, but we hope that all
of our pictures and updates make people feel like they are part of her life.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those are the questions I am most commonly asked! I
appreciate each and every one of you that have become a part of Ellie's life
through her facebook group! Ellie is proof that there is power in Prayer!</div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-56970001036363962452012-12-31T16:39:00.001-08:002012-12-31T16:42:08.537-08:00A Year To Always Remember <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
morning while I was sitting in my rocking chair, rocking my sweet little Ellie,
I started to think about this past year and all that it has brought us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
year has been a year of: life and death, a funeral and a homecoming,
sorrow and joy, answered prayers and some prayers not answered the way we
had hoped, lessons learned, new friends made, and so much more. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">2012
has by no means been an easy year. It has without a doubt been the hardest year
of my life, but yet as the year comes to an end I find myself very thankful for
a special little someone who blessed us with her presence this year. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The
year started out in complete and utter devastation when Robby died. I didn’t
think that we could ever continue on without our precious little Robby. When we
lost Robby I truly learned that life is not fair and that as much as you want
something, sometimes it just does not happen. God has a plan and only He knows
what it is. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">While
I was in the hospital laboring with Robby I spent so many hours pleading with
God to please let us keep Robby, but in the end I had to accept that we live in
an imperfect world where bad things happen. It wasn’t the doctor’s fault, God’s
fault, or even my own fault. It was a product of us living in a sinful and
imperfect world. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Having
to hand Robby over to the nurse after he died was truly the low point of my
year. Even though I have learned to deal with Robby’s death I have not “moved
on.” As I have said in blog posts before I will never move on from Robby
because he is a part of who I am- he makes up a large part of my story. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When I
got pregnant with Ellie things started to look up for us. I made it past 23
weeks and we were starting to feel comfortable with the possibility that I
could make it at least until Thanksgiving with Ellie, but Ellie had plans of
her own and graced us with her presence three months early!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Ellie’s
birth was by no means the picture perfect birth, but what I had to keep
reminding myself when I was in the OR was that Ellie was 26 weeks and she had a
great chance of not only surviving, but thriving. We had a rocky start in the
NICU when Ellie got pneumonia and was on the ventilator for 5 weeks. There were
days that she struggled so much, and I wasn’t sure that she would make it, but
our little princess pulled through and surprised everyone! As Dr. Hsaio said
"Ellie is kick a**." </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I
truly did learn about the power of prayer while Ellie was in the NICU. Shortly
after Ellie was born my mom started a facebook group to keep family and friends
updated on Ellie’s progress. Well, little did we know- Ellie’s group grew to
over a thousand people! I never dreamed that there would be so many people out
there “Loving Ellie.” I have to say, I have been overwhelmed with gratitude to
all of the people out there who have become invested in Ellie, people who
faithfully pray for Ellie, people who have cried with us on the rough days as
well as cheered us on with each victory- big or small. Ellie's group is a great
reminder that there is power in prayer!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As the
year ends I can’t look back on the whole year and say that it was an amazing
year, but I can say that I am extremely thankful that in the midst of our
storm, a beautiful rainbow blessed us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">For
those of you that don’t know, a rainbow baby is the name that is given to the
baby born after a loss. It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not
negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that
the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath-
it means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst
of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow
provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope. Ellie is the true
definition of a rainbow. She has brought so much light and hope into our lives,
and for that we are thankful. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I wish
that Robby could be here to be an earthly big brother to Ellie, but that is not
an option. Ellie has a wonderful big brother up in heaven who is always
watching over her, rooting for her, and sending her love. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I am
thankful that Ellie is here to help us ring in a new year and I plan to spend
each and every day enjoying every moment. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">“Do
not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the
present moment.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">~Buddha
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih_SEql8Ig0XamnhOQfdMuAHkPxxpR49v9itGa4p-ch3SZeRaQQSkG97xSrkE2-dQFc1GpwU01gBhFWfZctKSbmVdawv6OPk_BbxLFFZpQPmb-MDRJh1IPR-sNEjFl0ZE4chKt1JwSUiph/s1600/IMG_1530.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih_SEql8Ig0XamnhOQfdMuAHkPxxpR49v9itGa4p-ch3SZeRaQQSkG97xSrkE2-dQFc1GpwU01gBhFWfZctKSbmVdawv6OPk_BbxLFFZpQPmb-MDRJh1IPR-sNEjFl0ZE4chKt1JwSUiph/s320/IMG_1530.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7627000396129594090.post-57636983577773573042012-11-22T08:55:00.000-08:002012-11-22T08:55:30.943-08:00For All These Things I Am Thankful <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/>
<w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:Word11KerningPairs/>
<w:CachedColBalance/>
</w:Compatibility>
<w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="267">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">This
Thanksgiving is going to be bittersweet for me. As many of you know, we were
counting down the days until Thanksgiving, because on Thanksgiving I would have
been 32 weeks pregnant, and that was our goal. We had a countdown going on a
dry erase board at home, and we planned on starting our Ellie shopping at that
point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was really starting to get
excited about all of the things I was going to buy for our baby girl.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">When I went
into labor our board said 38 days until Thanksgiving.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">This is what I
get for planning. I am starting to realize that my plans are not my own- God is
in control, and no matter how much I plan and hope, things are in His hands.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">So, I wanted to
be thankful this Thanksgiving that I was still pregnant, but instead of
dwelling on what I wish I was thankful for this year, I want to focus on what I
AM thankful for.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for Ellie. Although I wish that she would have waited a little bit longer to
make her appearance, I am so thankful that she is here and doing well. I am
thankful that we live in a day and age where a 1 pound 12 ounce baby cannot
only just survive, but thrive as well. I love our little princess so much and
we are so blessed to have her here with us, even if it is earlier than we would
have liked. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for the time we had with Robby. I wish that we would have had longer with him,
but he was such a blessing to us. When I got pregnant with Robby, my
fibromyalgia went into remission, and that was his gift to me. Even though
Robby isn't here with us, he lives on in our hearts forever and he will always
be our little boy.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for the year I had in remission. My fibromyalgia came back 16 days after giving
birth to Ellie, but I had a whole year that we never thought that I would have.
I had a year when I was able to dance, walk, hug my family, and hold my
husband's hand without being in horrible pain. Even though it is back now, I am
so thankful for that year that I had.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for my husband, Tanner. This past year has been incredibly hard on the both of
us, but he has been amazing through it all. He stood by my side during all of
my health issues and is one of the most kind and caring people I know. I
believe all that has happened has brought us closer together and strengthened
our bond.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for my parents. They have been such an amazing support system to me and Tanner.
When we lost Robby, they were there for us to support us and help us through
our hardest days. When I was pregnant with Ellie they encouraged us and gave us
hope. Now that Ellie is here they continue to be here for us. My mom is up at
the hospital with me each day. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She helps
keep me calm when things are getting rough and helps to lift my spirits when I
feel like things are hopeless. My dad comes up every day with a lunch for me
and my mom. Some days he even makes us homemade pizza and brings it up for us
because he knows that it is my favorite! They have been my rock this past year
and I don't know what I would do without them. I am so very thankful for them.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for my brother. He has been here for me and Tanner so much in the past year,
and especially now. Justin lives only a few miles from the hospital, so he is
letting Tanner, my mom, and me stay with him while Ellie is in the hospital. It
is easier for me to leave the hospital at night knowing that if at midnight I
need to go back and check on Ellie we are so close. He is even letting my dog,
Barbie, stay at his house!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for my grandma who has been cooking some of my favorite meals and sending them
to my brother’s house so that after a long day at the hospital we have something
nutritious to eat. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for my friends who continue to check on me and come see me at the hospital even
though when they make the trip up to the hospital they rarely ever get to see
Ellie. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t wait to be thankful for
the day to come when all of our friends and family can see Ellie each time they
visit!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for the June Bugs. The June Bugs are a group of women that all have something
in common...we were all due in June of 2012. We all went through the same
pregnancy things around the same time and shared a bond that way. When we lost
Robby, these women rallied around me and since then have continued to support
me. Even though I am not technically a June Mommy, these women have continued
to make me feel like part of the group, and this helps me feel like Robby's
memory lives on.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for my pregnant after a loss and pregnant after a late loss groups. Being
pregnant after a loss is really hard, but having women who knew exactly what I
was going through helped me so much. They were there to support me during
my pregnancy, and they are continuing to support me now that Ellie is here.
These women are so strong, and I am thankful to have such an amazing support
group in them.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for Dr. Hague. She helped get me further along this pregnancy than I did with
Robby, and since we made it longer, Ellie has been given a much greater chance.
I am so very thankful that she had me come in for appointments more than even
necessary just to put my mind at ease. She is a wonderful person and I feel
blessed that she was my doctor.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for all the people out there who are praying, thinking about, and loving Ellie.
There are so many people who I know online, in person, and people I don't even
know who are praying for Ellie. I am so encouraged when I log on and see all of
the clicks, comments, and posts that are being left for Ellie. She is so loved,
and I am touched that there are so many people out there "Loving
Ellie" and cheering us on.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for some of the nurses who have taken a special interest in Ellie. It helps put
my mind at ease when the nurse taking care of Ellie really knows her and what
she likes and doesn't like. These nurses have been wonderful and very
understanding of why I want to be up at the hospital with Ellie all of the
time.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am thankful
for the families that we have met here at the NICU. We share a bond that is
special because we are going through pretty much the same thing. We are all
dealing with the stress of having a baby in the NICU. We all go through good
days and bad days. We rejoice with each other on the good days, and encourage
each other on the bad days. I am thankful to have made such wonderful friends. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">So, my plan
wasn't God's plan. I do not get to be thankful that I am still pregnant, but I
have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Thank you all so much
for your support through Ellie’s NICU journey this far, it will be long, and I
am so very thankful for each and every one of you out there praying for our
little princess. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuEGC0uUhJUHbvHEp_d0rLo_hLx34yh3RWnZsYW7H-T9UH6B6SKi9Psvr4d3rZURwB8tX1ygDGurq4KeoZCutgU9ayzYYQKsqgCKanagbEwJwvsT1Q-IVjxAL33LSbDh2AzewGRU9uWLK/s1600/IMG_0943.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUuEGC0uUhJUHbvHEp_d0rLo_hLx34yh3RWnZsYW7H-T9UH6B6SKi9Psvr4d3rZURwB8tX1ygDGurq4KeoZCutgU9ayzYYQKsqgCKanagbEwJwvsT1Q-IVjxAL33LSbDh2AzewGRU9uWLK/s320/IMG_0943.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07577946167477556304noreply@blogger.com1