It is hard for me to believe that three years ago today our sweet little Ellie was born. When I think back to that day, I have different feelings than what a lot of mothers have. That was such a scary day for us. When I went into labor that morning, I wanted to hope that my doctors would be able to keep Ellie in longer, but I knew that with my history, the chances were not likely. I knew that Ellie would be born soon, and that we would not make it to Thanksgiving (32 weeks) like we had been praying that we would.
For 7 weeks, there wasn’t a doctor in the NICU who would look me in the eye and tell me that Ellie would survive. It wasn’t until she was 49 days old that we received the glorious news from her NICU doctor that she would survive. Born 14 weeks too soon, she had a brain bleed, ROP (Retinopathy of prematurity), pneumonia at only a week old, Chronic Lung Disease after the first several weeks, and she was on oxygen-intubated for most of her hospital stay. She had so many setbacks, and at times I thought that the roller coaster would not ever end. We spent so much time going up and down, and then we would have some smoother days, then we would be back up and down again. Then it happened, Ellie finally came home. She came home on monitors and oxygen but she finally came home. Since then, life has not been easy. Ellie had chronic lung disease, and because of that we kept her isolated for such a long time in order to keep her as well as possible and to keep her from having to go back to the hospital. We are still extremely careful about germs and what she is exposed to because after 3 years it has become a habit more than anything, but we do continue to ease up every single day. Ellie’s doctor said a couple months ago that he believes that any and all of the problems that Ellie had when she was born have been resolved. He went on to say that he does not have any concerns about her. We are truly blessed.
Ellie was born on October 15, which happens to be a significant date for two other reasons. The first reason being that on October 15 , 2011, I found out that I was pregnant with Robby. The second reason is that it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. The past two years I have not mentioned Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day on October 15th because it is on the same day as Ellie’s birthday, however, I have been thinking a lot about it over these past few months, and I have started to form a new outlook on it.
Ellie’s birthday falling on October 15 is a constant reminder of how incredibly blessed we are. When Ellie was born, the outlook for her was bleak. She was so tiny when she was born- 1 pound 12 ounces. She was so small and she looked so fragile. Her head was black due to bruising from being stuck. We are truly blessed that she is here with us today. We are so blessed that instead of spending Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day honoring her memory like we do Robby’s memory,we are able to celebrate her life and that she is still living. Ellie’s outcome could have been so different, but it wasn’t, and for that, we praise God.Ellie brings so much joy into our lives, and she is a constant reminder of how great God is and how prayer truly does change things.
So, today on October 15, we are going to spend the day celebrating our little miracle, Ellie. But we will also be remembering Robby,who we lost in February of 2012.
We will be remembering the babies that I miscarried last month, in September of 2015.
And on this awareness day, we will also be remembering all of the babies who have been taken too soon.
As we embark on Ellie becoming a “three-nager” I want to remember each and every day how blessed we are. Ellie is strong, tough, funny, loving, loud, energetic, demanding, extremely inquisitive, and a very strong willed child. We love each and every quality and characteristic that she has. Ellie has such a strong will that some days are a challenge, but each and every challenging day is a gift, a precious gift.
Happy Birthday sweet Princess <3 We love you more than you will ever know!