I have needed to blog for a few weeks now, but I just haven’t.
It isn’t because I couldn’t find the time as the Gilmore Girls, the Walton’s, the Cleaver's and the Cosby’s don’t keep me that busy, but I haven’t been able to find the words.
The last few weeks have been difficult not only for me, but for everyone who is around me. The whole pregnancy so far has been stressful, but the last few weeks have been even worse because they have been leading up to yesterday, the day I turned 23 weeks.
We lost Robby at 23 weeks, which means that today (23 weeks and 1 day) I am more pregnant than I ever got to be with Robby. I am thrilled that we have made it this far with Ellie, but at the same time, I can’t help but be sad that this was all the time that we got with Robby. I didn’t get to take a 23 week picture with Robby, so I am thankful and blessed to take a 23 week picture with Ellie.
|23 Weeks 1 Day|
For the past couple weeks Tanner and I have been going to bed earlier and earlier each night. Night time is when my anxiety about the possibility of going into preterm labor and losing Ellie is the worst, so my doctor gave me some anti-nausea medicine that makes me sleepy and each night at about 7:30 I take it and Tanner and I go to bed. Right now we are doing anything and everything to keep my stress level down so that I can stay calm.
Some people might think that today I can be happy and my fears about going into preterm labor should be gone, but even though I am thankful for today, Ellie is still not safe. I am still nervous as ever because I love Ellie so much and I pray every day that she will be our “take home baby.”
Yesterday I had my appointment at the doctor to get my p17 shot and heart beat check. Since we were out for the shot that day we made one brief stop. Yesterday we stopped at Von Maur to get a coming home outfit for Ellie. My mom and I tried to get one a couple weeks ago after an appointment, but once we got into Carter’s I had a panic attack and we left empty handed. It overwhelmed me being in the store around all those baby clothes. So yesterday when we stopped I pretty much just stood there while mom got our options (we wanted a preemie outfit so our selection was limited) and I chose from those. This is the first outfit we have purchased for Ellie. I love Ellie so very much, but buying things for her is very difficult right now because I am still so scared of losing her.
|Ellie's Coming Home Outfit|
I am incredibly blessed to have so many people out there praying for me- friends, family, friends of family, and people that I don’t even know! I can’t tell you how much we appreciate all of the prayers. Please continue to pray that Ellie stays put for at least 60 more days! I am so thankful for today, that I am pregnant today, and that I can feel Ellie moving today. We will continue to take it one day at a time.
Here is an update on Ellie
- Cotton Candy
- Any type of sugary cereal
- My dad’s homemade pizza
- Banana Split from Braum's (I actually had one of these for breakfast last week!)
- Hot Chocolate
- Ellie likes to move a lot at night, but she is moving throughout the day as well. She doesn't move much during the morning hours. Several of my friends have been able to feel Ellie moving around. I love sharing this miracle with everyone who wants to feel her moving and kicking.
- I have an appointment every Friday for my shot and heartbeat check
- This week we have an ultrasound on Thursday and we can hardly wait to see Ellie on the big screen
- Every other Tuesday I go in to see my doctor, Dr. Hauge
“ Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. “- Philippians 4:6-7