Four years ago today, Tanner and I had an absolutely perfect, fairy tale wedding. On one of the happiest days of our lives we stood up in front of our family and friends, and we promised to love each other for the rest of our lives.
We promised to love each other for better or worse
Through richer or poorer.
In sickness and in health.
In good times and in bad.
Aside from the “richer” part of the vows, we have so far experienced each and every one one of the other things that we vowed. Actually, we hit all of those milestones before we even celebrated our first anniversary. Just as we promised, we have loved each other through poorer, sickness, health, good times, and bad times.
Disney has given us the phrase “Happily Ever After,” but we all know that in reality this doesn't happen! I have learned that it is okay to not have the perfect or the fairy tale marriage all of the time. Honestly, there is no such a thing as a “perfect marriage.” We live in an age where social media is a portal into other people’s lives. It can be an amazing thing, but it can also be extremely misleading. I know that we have all felt the need and the pressure to make things seem better than they really are for the purpose of Facebook. We want the world to think that everything is going great all of the time.
Unfortunately, life is not perfect all of the time!
I feel that Tanner and I have a very good marriage but in all honesty, our marriage has not always been easy. Actually, at times I can say that it has been downright frustrating!
We have had so many good times. We have shared so many wonderful memories together, from the birth of our daughter, to spending holidays together, to celebrating each others accomplishments, to everyday fun times and memories. These are all things that have enriched our lives and strengthened our marriage.
However, we have also had disagreements, and there are times that we do not see eye to eye on things. We have learned to respect each others opinions because we are not the same person and we each have our own thoughts, ideas, wishes, desires, and even dreams. This is part of what keeps our marriage exciting!
This past week we filled out a questionnaire that was circulating on Facebook(you will be able to read it at the end of this), and one of the questions was “how are you alike.” We both very confidently answered that we are not at all alike. We are two very different people which is one of the things that attracted me to Tanner nearly 8 years ago. Although we are extremely different from each other, we are still so very in love with each other. Since we are opposites in many ways, of course we have disagreements. Sometimes it is difficult to find a way to meld our dreams together, and it does take sacrifice on both ends. In my opinion, that is a big part of having a happy marriage- learning to communicate thoughts and feelings and then being able to compromise. One of the hardest things for me and Tanner has been to find ways to communicate our feelings with each other. This is where the frustrating part really comes in! Communication can be hard!
What I can say about the rough times is that everything that we have been through,the good and the bad, has made us stronger as individuals, and definitely stronger as a couple. I feel that we have done a good job of working together and finding ways to work through the difficult times in our marriage.
As everyone knows, Tanner and I married at what most consider to be a young age. When we got married, we knew that we would have challenges, but we also knew that getting married was what was best for us, and it was what we wanted. Although our marriage hasn't been rainbows and unicorns every single minute of the past four years, it truly has been a wonderful four years. We have had some trying times, but how could we appreciate the good times without the trying times? Tanner and I are blessed to have a wonderful family who has loved and supported us through our marriage. I would like to offer a big “thank you” to my parents. They are especially appreciated because they have been such a wonderful example to us.
We have changed a lot in the last four years, but our love has grown and changed with us. We have changed for the better and we have done it together.
For your enjoyment, Tanner and I both took the quiz about each other, and here are the results :
1. What is something your husband always says to you? How much did that cost?
2. What makes your husband happy? Family dinners
3. What makes your husband sad? When I eat his dessert.
4. How does your husband make you laugh? Tanner tends to speak before he thinks which results in some pretty funny things coming out of his mouth!
5. What was your husband like as a child? Hyper and not very good at minding.
6. How old is your husband? 23
7. How tall is your husband? Taller than me, but short enough that I have to be careful how tall my wedges are.
8. What is his favorite thing to do? Just sit down and relax
9. What does your husband do when you're not around? Smoke cigars, drink QT drinks, and eat QT roller food
10. If your husband becomes famous, what will it be for? Having such an amazing wife ;)
11. What is your husband really good at? He’s a really good people person
12. What is your husband not very good at? Paying attention to directions
13. What does your husband do for a job? Drives around and sells stuff
14.What is your husband’s favorite food? My mom’s creamy taco and homemade, iced brownie
15.What makes you proud of your husband? His dedication to me and to Ellie.
16. If your husband were a character, who would he be? Tigger
17. What do you and your husband do together? We watch How I Met Your Mother
18. How are you and your husband the same? We aren’t the same- at all.
19. How are you and your husband different? I’m a perfectionist, and he is not.
20. How do you know your husband loves you? He has always been so supportive of all of my dreams. He has been supportive of my dreams for Project Robby, and my dreams for continuing my education.
21. What does your husband like most about you? My dedication to shopping at Target all of the time instead of Von Maur.
22. Where is your husband’s favorite place to go?The Shop ( The building where my dad runs his business)
1. What is something your wife always says to you? That's got germs on it
( I of course corrected him: I say that HAS germs on it!)
2. What makes your wife happy? Crafting
3. What makes your wife sad? We don’t have a pool
4. How does your wife make you laugh? Her witty banter
5. What was your wife like as a child? Perfect
6. How old is your wife? 23
7. How tall is your wife? 5’ 4 ½”
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Go shopping
9. What does your wife do when you're not around? She's a mom
10. If your wife becomes famous, what will it be for? Writing a book
11. What is your wife really good at? Correcting me
12. What is your wife not very good at? Navigating and deciding where to eat
13. What does your wife do for a job? She's a mom
14.What is your wife's favorite food? Mexican
15.What makes you proud of your wife? She’s following what she wants to do and making her dreams happen
16. If your wife were a character, who would she be? What's the one from Sleeping Beauty? Belle?
( I would like to point out that this is a direct quote! Yes, I think Tanner needs to brush up on his Disney Princess knowledge! )
17. What do you and your wife do together? Do you really want me to say this one out loud?
18. How are you and your wife the same? We're not
19. How are you and your wife different? She doesn't eat Sonic Ice Cream
20. How do you know your wife loves you? She makes me lunches
21. What does your wife like most about you? I work hard
22. Where is your wife's favorite place to go? Target