Pieces from The Mighty

Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Love of a Parent is Forever

Holidays are difficult when you have lost a loved one. Of course every single day is difficult, but holidays seem to really be a kick in the gut. It is a time of love, laughter, and family. However, when part of your family is missing, it makes things a little (okay, a lot) sad.

When we were Christmas shopping earlier in the month, Ellie told me that she needed to buy Robby a present, so she picked out a small matchbox car. Ellie is three, and is really into every aspect of Christmas this year, so she also insisted that we wrap it up for him.

On Christmas Eve we went out to the cemetery where Robby is buried.  Ellie unwrapped Robby’s present, and played with the little red car on his stone. She had received a package in the mail  from Santa the day before, which included snow from the North Pole and some Reindeer food to sprinkle in the yard before bed on Christmas Eve. Ellie pulled both containers out of her Minnie Mouse backpack that she had packed up and then she “showed” them to Robby. She very carefully took the lid off of the snow, put her little fingers in the container,  pulled out some “snow”and then sprinkled it on his stone. She told Robby that Santa sent her this snow from his house. Then she opened up the reindeer food and did the same thing, as she let Robby know that now Rudolph would know where to find him. It broke my heart yet made my heart full all at the same time knowing that she wanted to “share” with her big brother. Her brother whom she has never actually met.  

When we go to visit Robby, I like to walk around Babyland and look at the different things that are out for the other angel babies. I  talk with Ellie about the different decorations that are out, and we say some of the baby names out loud. I like to say and hear Robby’s name said out loud because it validates his existence to me, so it has become natural to do the same for other angel babies as well. This year, I noticed several different stones that were decorated for Christmas. They were stones of babies who were born many years ago. These babies were born in 1980, 1986, 1992 and 1993. The 1992  really hit home for me because I was born in 1992. These parents,23 years later, still come to their angel baby's grave and put out Christmas decorations.

As I sat at Robby’s grave, I’m going to be honest, I cried...a lot.

I did not cry because I am living in the past.
I did not cry because I don’t appreciate the beautiful living child that I have.
I did not cry because I can’t move on.

I cried because this Christmas and every Christmas for as long as I live, I won’t ever get to see my little boy’s eyes light up on Christmas morning while opening presents.

I cried because he won’t ever have a picture with Santa.

I cried because the love of a parent is forever.

I’m praying for all of the parents who have suffered a loss- whether it has been a recent loss, or it has been many years. A loss is difficult whether it is new or old because  the love of a parent is forever.

“I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living,

my baby you'll be.”


  1. It is really heartbreaking to lose someone so special to us. Thanks for sharing this.

  2. Endless Online Investment Resources

    viva3388 Online casino sites are a great way to make fun of betting at home. Able to play bets throughout the day. The money is overwhelming. Where ever the bet is always full. Players will find simple gambling bets to play. Wherever you are, gambling is available 24 hours a day. When you come into contact with the bets, you will be able to play well and complete with the top gambling bets. It's easy to play with our number one betting site.

    In addition, our website is also very interesting to gamble to give players a lot of return. There is one easy way to earn more money. Give a lot of time. People who want to gamble and play their bets are more likely to have real money in their pockets every day. It can be played to all to make a lot more money on the site of the player we are interested in the service with us, the player can register to be here, you will not be disappointed of course. viva9988

  3. Islamabad rent a Car You can get most dependable and reasonable taxi tolls and furthermore a ton of choices while you pick your alluring auto on rent a car in Islamabad through Islamabad has a considerable measure of captivating spots to visit and explorers more often than not enlist an auto in Rawalpindi for a calm and effectively available travel. Rent Car Rawalpindi You can get affirmed appointments of Car rent in Islamabad in only a couple of navigates easy to understand stage.